The concept of envy It comes from the Latin word “invidere”. Translated it means look with evil eyes someone. It is a common feeling in human beings that, even if we deny it, we have all experienced in one way or another. Envy needs to be controlled and managed since it can generate emotions such as helplessness, sadness or anger, among others.
Envy is a unpleasant emotion which ends up causing unpleasant behaviors and consequences in people. It is one of the emotional problems most frequent and most normalized.
We see envious attitude as normal and think that it is part of this person's personality. However, it is a problem not only for the person who suffers from it but also for those around him/her. Envy is an emotion that involves long for what someone else has and wish to be in someone else's situation.
We can envy a job, a car, shoes, a house, a boyfriend, the life of a famous person, the personality of a friend, someone's physique… everything that we think we don't have and that, if we had them, would make us happy.
Above all, we envy success and triumph of other people because we believe that their lives are much better than ours. The goal of envy is always get more.
Generally, envy causes negative feelings. Despite this, we can consider in some cases that it has a positive character. There are times when envy motivates people to get what they want.
Seeing it in others makes them fight for it. achieve your goals until you reach them. You can even reach a feeling of admiration and pride when you see someone get what they want. That is what we know as “healthy envy”.
But it is true that in most cases envy is harmful for those who suffer from it and for those who receive it. An online psychologist can help you stop feeling envious.
Try a free session
Learn to manage envy and take care of your mental health with the help of a professional psychologist.
Make an appointment
What are the characteristics of an envious person?
People who suffer from envy are mainly characterized by having a very low self-esteemThey feel a terrible and irrational fear of being inferior to others. For this reason, these people adopt sarcastic attitudes or inappropriate comments. They usually do this when another individual talks to them about their achievements or when they have managed to achieve a goal in their life.
Their behavior like this creates a rejection position by other people. As a result, envious people may lack friends and tend to live alone.
This loneliness prevents them from sharing and communicating their own achievements with people. By not having anyone to listen to them and support them in achieving their goals, they begin to experience negative feelingsThey feel angry with the world and with themselves, frustrated and sad.
This type of emotions is harmful to a person's health. It does not provide any kind of benefit. In fact, limits your personal growth and causes it to stagnate. It does not advance or mature.
What effects does envy have on a person?
The effects caused by the feeling of envy will depend on the person. After all, each individual is unique and has a series of characteristics that make him different from the rest. Therefore, depending on his properties, he will act in one way or another.
On the one hand, there are the so-called envious “momentary”. For them, envy is only a problem of attitude. They act with envy as a response to their inability to achieve something. It has no greater connotation.
On the other hand, there are cases of greater severity. Here the person lives with envywhich causes emotional wear and tear that can lead to mental health problems. In fact, envy can cause aggression and problems with depression or anxiety.
The problem is mainly that there are people who want to have certain qualities or live certain circumstances in their lives. However, they do not fight to obtain them. They limit themselves to observing others and are compared continuously with them and their belongings. Therefore, it is usually a question of inactive people towards their goals.
They simply focus their attention on other people instead of what they should be doing. They feel rage and frustration by the other's meritsThere are times when they wish that the other person would not get what they want or would lose what they have. This way, they feel better about themselves.
Subjects who are not able to handle envy usually manifest it through use of criticism either disqualificationsIn the most serious cases they may even use the aggressiveness wave violence.
The problem is that this emotion can persist over time as a result of not knowing how to handle it. All of this will have a negative impact on the person. That is why they manifest psychological problems or disorders such as depression or anxiety.
In turn, having low self-esteem and constantly using complex ways to feel better will lead you to have unhealthy relationships at all levels.
What factors influence the origin of envy and how can it be overcome?
In order to overcome envy, the person who suffers from it must be aware and recognize that he is envious. If this happens, the chances of eliminating him from your daily life will be greater.
But to achieve this you must also know what the origin of said emotion. That is, look for what event or situation has caused your frustration and anger for wanting what others have.
Therefore, we are going to establish a series of factors that may be the origin of your envy:
- Self-esteemPeople who have low self-esteem and who do not accept or respect themselves tend to be envious. By not being who they want to be, they base their life on criticizing and envying what others have. You must know that loving and respecting yourself is essential to not envy. Self-love is a fundamental factor that will make you forget what others have and focus on yourself and your goals. Work on valuing yourself and strive to reinforce the qualities that you do not like or that you are not 100% comfortable with. Only in this way will you be who you want to be.
- Self-criticismWhen you are very demanding with yourself, you are never satisfied with what you have and what you achieve. In the end, you always tend to compare yourself with others and you always believe that you still have things to achieve.
- Comparisons. Avoid constantly comparing yourself to others. This will generate anger and frustration in you. Remember that each person is “a world” and that each of us has a series of skills and abilities. The important thing is to fight to achieve your goals without comparing yourself to others.
- The fearsPeople who have very strong fears or worries limit themselves. They live constantly dreaming and thinking about what they would like to be or achieve, but they hold themselves back for fear of not achieving it. Knowing and working with our fears will prevent them from becoming a limitation.
- Happiness. You've probably wondered if you're a happy person. You have to find out what makes you happy and accept the limitations you'll have when it comes to achieving it. If you're realistic, you'll realize how things are. You'll be aware of what you can and can't achieve depending on the circumstances, and you'll be able to enjoy and feel good about yourself.
Envy ends worrying less about others and more about ourselves. Knowing yourself, your skills, abilities and limitations are what will focus your energy and your way of acting. Turn each achievement of others into a new challenge for yourself, do it as a source of inspiration and admiration. Remember that admiration is better than envy.
If you are experiencing feelings of envy and are aware that you have a problem, go to a mental health professional.
In Psychia We are experts in online therapy. If you want us to help you, request a free session by clicking on the button.