Life is full of ups and downs. However, bad experiences can cause us to develop a shell that is the cause of emotional insensitivity.
What is emotional numbing?
Insensitivity is the perceptive and emotional inability to identify and evaluate the feelings that situations or people produce in us. That is, the ability to feel nothing in the face of the pain or suffering of others.
From sensitivity to insensitivity there is a step and almost It always depends on the factors acquired through each person's life stories. The lessons or circumstances they have experienced condition their feelings, causing each person to have a different way of reacting to suffering and pain, both their own and that of others.
Why does emotional numbing occur?
People with emotional insensitivity can be emotionally insensitive to some people and not to others. Most often, this sensitivity comes out when dealing with the suffering of others, but also their own. The thing is that all insensitive people agree that They have developed over time the ability to witness horrible events in others, thus blocking their emotions. and adopting behaviors dominated by coldness, disinterest, morbidity and sarcasm.
The fact that we get used to seeing toxic and violent events makes us tolerant and insensitive to people's misfortunes. The more horror we see, the more accustomed we become to it and, as a result, the ability to be impressed is lost and emotions are blocked, turning people into cold and disinterested people.
There is a more severe pathology that is enjoy painful situations that happen to others, both people and animals.
That is the path of insensitivity. As it progresses, it becomes more dangerous and transforms the human mind into a remorseless stoneno feelings for anything or anyone.
When did we start to be insensitive?
It is normal for a person to be sensitive and insensitive at the same time.both with themselves and with others.
It is also common for stages of insensitivity to appear, each person is different and even the most sensitive and empathetic can suffer stages like this. If it is true that It doesn't happen overnight, many factors have to come together for something like this to happen. When a person is going through a bad time and is suffering a lot, It is normal that you do not have enough emotional energy to empathize with the suffering of others.
There are people who are afraid of suffering and, without realizing it, end up developing defense mechanisms, strategies or ways to avoid feeling anything. This always happens in the field of addictions.
Consuming psychoactive drugs causes people to put up a barrier of insensitivity to the suffering of others. It is like a kind of bubble that acts as an insulator. Building a tough character is also a strategy to desensitize us. What's more, it is a way of having total control over emotions and feelings, so that all energy is used to contain them.
Try a free session
Resolve your conflicts and recover your energy with the professional help of a psychologist.
Make an appointment
How can we change the cycle?
Read other people's emotions
We may have a hard time identifying the emotions of others, but to a greater or lesser extent, All humans are born with this abilityIf you take your time, you will get there.
For example, if you go to a crowded shopping mall, try to figure out who is stressed, excited, shy, etc. Do this through their body language, especially their facial expressions.
Learn to show your concern
You may be insensitive because you feel uncomfortable showing your emotions. Before you say something unnatural or untrue, it is better to be quiet, but if you try hard it can become natural. For example, this can be applied to the situation when someone loses a loved one and you say, “I’m sorry for your loss.”
Understand the need for emotions
It may be that, for you, sadness seems excessive and illogical. When someone is sad, you probably wonder because that person does not analyze the problem and think about how to solve it.
However, you have to learn that Emotions are logical and are a fundamental part when making decisions. Emotions can be the reason for changing our lives, as habitual emotional discomfort can cause us to get out of our routine.
Emotions are essential for establishing healthy connections with others. They are simply part of us.
It must be said that sometimes, It's okay to pretend. Many times insensitive people don't know how a person can show their emotions or they can feel elated or angry, but playing along a little and showing a smile when it's not hard for us is a good option. We have to get rid of that shell that makes us be hard on others.
Emotions are not simply the colorful ornamentations of our experiences; they are integral parts of those experiences.
Antonio Damasio
Become aware of your emotions.
For someone who is insensitive, feelings often come with confusion or discomfort. It may be that they have been taught to hide their emotions or they only listen to the logical side of their brain. Whatever the reason, You may need to separate yourself from your feelings as all they do is make you not feel empathy for others and sometimes not even for yourself.
You should ask yourself how you feel during the day. Stopping and answering this question can help you identify your feelings.
Identify everything you use to avoid your emotions. Examples of this could be watching television, concentrating on something in particular, drinking alcohol, etc.
Even though it may be difficult at first, you have to allow yourself to feel your emotions. When you find yourself in a place you consider safe, let your feelings flourish and pay attention to your physical changes. This way you will be able to identify emotions in yourself and others when they reappear.
If you are just trying to repress your emotions to cope with trauma or have anxiety attacks, It is best to go to a specialist.
How can a psychologist help us?
When someone recommends that you go to a psychologist, the first thing you think is: «Why should I tell my problems to a stranger when I already have my friends?» While it is true that friends can be of great help at specific times.
However, They don't have what a specialist hasthat is, a training that allows you to analyze people's lives, see how they relate, find out how their own thoughts, their emotions, the reason for their behavior interact and the use of scientific methods that serve to evaluate and treat people's aspects.
Listen to a person and accept them without judging them It is one of the characteristics of psychologists. In addition, the Confidentiality It's something that never fails. You can tell him your problems and he won't say anything.
Explain to the specialist what worries us, It also helps us to reposition our lives, our thoughts and our emotions. And after explaining it to them, they always have the answer to the question: “Why is all this happening to me?”
Relationships with others and with ourselves are the cause and consequence of our emotions and our ways of acting. Therefore, the help of a psychologist It can improve our self-esteem and relationships with others.that is, to solve our problem.
On the other hand, you should know that A psychologist is not going to do everything for us. and if in this case, we want to change that emotional insensitivity, we will have to do our part. He will answer many questions and give us solutions, but it is in our hands to carry them out.
At we have been experts in online therapy since 2012. Throughout our career we have helped more than 2,000 patients overcome various emotional problems. If you are interested in seeking the help of an online psychologist, you can request a free first session by clicking on the button below.
Why choose
- We have been leaders in online psychological care since 2012.
- First informational appointment free.
- Online therapy from 40 euros per session.
- Team of senior psychologists, with decades of experience.
- All the therapy we offer is via videoconference. 100% confidential.
- The same psychologist will attend to you throughout the treatment.
- At you do not lose the money for the sessions. If you cannot connect or are not there, the session is postponed to another day.
- Attention in Spanish, English and Catalan.