The problems of a couple rarely depend on the gender of its members. However, gender roles and social expectations that weigh on men and women mean that the same problem can be expressed in different ways depending on whether it is a heterosexual relationship, a homosexual relationship between two men or a relationship between two women. That is why today we are going to talk about the particularities of emotional dependence in female couples.
What is emotional dependence?
When we talk about emotional dependence we refer to a mental state characterized by a constant and excessive need for affectionIf the dependent person is deprived of this affection, discomfort appears.
It should be noted that emotional dependence does not only occur in couples, although this is the most common. It can also appear in family or friendship relationships.
This behavior is very common in people with low and unstable self-esteem, since their opinion of themselves depends, to a large extent, on the opinions of others. When they receive affection, their self-esteem rises, but the moment they stop receiving affection, emotional instability appears.
Is emotional dependence common in female couples?
According to data from a study published by the Spanish Journal of Drug Addiction, Homosexual couples have higher rates of emotional dependence than heterosexual couples.
Why does this happen? LGBT people often experience incomprehension and loneliness throughout their lives. Homophobia, stereotypes, lack of role models… often lead to poorer emotional health.
Although same-sex relationships are becoming normal in many societies around the world, lesbians, gays and bisexuals have grown up in a world where their emotional tendencies were outside the norm.
In this way, we can affirm that the Reasons why emotional dependence is common in female couples are:
- Loneliness leads LGBT people to develop risky sexual-affective behaviors and endure abuse or mistreatment. Emotional dependence appears due to the fear of being left alone again.
- Rejection experienced through one's own experiences or through the experiences of others causes the self-esteem of LGBT people is more fragile.
- Lesbian and bisexual women tend to develop very intense links When they go out with other women, the identification is greater than in heterosexual couples.
- Various studies have indicated that The mental and emotional health of LGBT people is worse than that of heterosexual people. Often, emotionally dependent people are so because they try to fill the emotional void with the affection their partner gives them.
- The gender roles The negative attitudes that weigh on women (sensitivity, fragility, dependence on others) can make them think that their worth depends on whether or not they are in a romantic relationship. When a person senses that their worth as a person depends on their relationship, they will do everything possible to keep it from ending.
Warning signs of emotional dependence
Do you suspect that you or your partner may be emotionally dependent on each other? Symptoms of emotional dependence in female couples are:
- Intense fear of being separatedeven in short periods of time.
- When a separation takes place, however brief, a series of intrusive thoughts: «He's going to leave me,» «He's probably with someone else,» «He's leaving because I'm not enough,» «He can't stand spending time with me.»
- Feeling like you wouldn't be able to move on with your life if the relationship ended.
- Need for constant physical contact.
- Need for keeping in touch when you're apart whether through calls, text messages…
- You idealize your partner: You think he's the best person you'll ever meet and that he's more than you deserve.
- You put up with harmful behavior out of fear that the relationship will end.
- You strive to satisfy all your partner's desireseven if they go against your own wishes.
Do you recognize any of these signs in your relationship? Don't hesitate to contact an online psychologist.
Try a free session
Get rid of emotional dependency and learn to develop healthy relationships with the professional help of an online psychologist.
Make an appointment
Causes of emotional dependence in female couples
- Mental health problems
A study conducted by researchers at the Jaume I University of Castellón revealed that the mental health of LGBT youth is in a worse state than that of heterosexual youth.
The study, titled Sexual orientation and mental health in young Spanish university studentsrevealed that «sexual minorities have a worse perception of their mental health status and request more psychological help.»
The results indicate that LGBT youth experience higher levels of stress, depression and, above all, anxiety. In addition, the researchers concluded that Non-heterosexual youth were three times more likely to suffer from psychological problems.
As we have already pointed out, poorer mental health means poorer self-perception.
Furthermore, mental health problems such as depression or low self-esteem are often characterized by a feeling of emptiness that can lead those who suffer from them to develop emotional dependency in an attempt to fill that void with the affection of your partner.
Emotional dependence is closely linked to low self-esteem. And this, in turn, is related to the type of attachment developed during childhood.
Attachment is the bond that unites us to the people around us and is based on the relationship we develop with our parents in the first months of life.
Emotionally dependent individuals tend to have anxious attachmentcaused by the intermittence of their parents during childhood.
As children, this causes them to not understand whether their parents will be there to help them when they are in danger. As adults, they often have problems relating to others and are afraid of rejection, as they fear that their partner will abandon them, as their parents did from time to time.
If you have Problems managing your relationship with your girlfriend in a healthy way, contacting us may be the solution.
At we have been helping patients from all over the world find their well-being since 2012. We were pioneers in offering online therapy and that is why we know that it is an economical, but equally effective, alternative to traditional therapies.
To date, more than 1,600 people have turned to us to find an online psychologist. If you also want to try our services, you can request a consultation First briefing free by clicking the button below.