Differences between ego and self-esteem – Online Psychologists

The concepts of ego and self-esteem often lead to error due to the narrow boundary separating both definitions.

It is very common Using the terms ego and self-esteem incorrectlysince the line that delimits each definition is very thin and sometimes leads to using these concepts as synonyms.

Confusing and mixing up these terms is inevitable, especially when, from a young age, we have received an education based on caring for and looking out for others, putting their needs before our own.

However, there are clear Differences between a person with ego and one with high self-esteem and here we are going to explain them to you.

A person with a big ego has excessive admiration for himself. His level of admiration is so high that he develops narcissistic traits while observing the world from a distorted perspective. People with ego consider themselves superior to others due to their perfection, both physically and mentally, since they believe they have great abilities and gifts. The problem with this type of person is that they do not see their own mistakes and, therefore, do not correct their attitude.

On the other hand, a person with high self-esteem, despite valuing and loving themselves, sees the world realistically. They consider themselves to have great virtues and abilities, but they do not ignore their defects and imperfections by trying to camouflage them. A person with self-esteem accepts their mistakes and tries to correct them in order to improve.

Loving yourself, pampering yourself and speaking positively to yourself is not bad. Self-admiration is not a problem, as long as we analyze ourselves from a realistic perspective. We all have defects and the solution is to recognize them and improve them, because avoiding them and considering ourselves perfect will never bring about a change in us.

As psychologist Gema Sánchez Cuevas points out, this is the point that unmasks an egocentric person, since they are always worried about themselves and never about others. They need attention and to be the centre of attention. If this is not the case, their most common reaction is usually anger.

However, a person with good self-esteem is certainly concerned about themselves, but also about others. They know how to put their needs first without failing to listen to others. They do not need the gaze or approval of a group to feel happy. The big difference, in this regard, is found in the empathy that this type of person can develop and the healthy and enriching relationships they can maintain.

The most common thing when dealing with a person with a big ego is that he is not able to see beyond his beliefs. It is impossible for him to question or reflect on certain issues, since his idea is always the right one. This point can trigger conflicts, since he will not give in because his vision, in his opinion, is unique and true.

Instead, A person with self-esteem is able to see beyond, knowing that his vision is not unique and that there are different opinions. or equally respectable points of view. This type of person, as we have already said, is capable of listening to and understanding others, which allows him to acquire a new perspective.

The clear difference is that A person with an ego is not able to put himself in someone else's shoes and empathize with him, while the person with self-esteem can leave his comfort zone and become interested in new perspectives. The person with a big ego, by covering up and hiding what does not interest him, will never be loved or respected.

A person with a big ego who considers himself perfect will never tolerate criticism that tries to destroy his distorted image of reality. defects and imperfections They have been hidden under the drawing of perfection, so any attack on their facade will provoke their anger.

A person with self-esteem has always been aware of his or her flaws and is able to recognize them and receive criticism that helps him or her improve. His or her reaction will not be offensive, but rather he or she will try to work on his or her weaknesses and grow as a person.

We have already said that a person with a big ego always thinks for himself, so if he seeks help from others or shows some kind of interest it is because there is a benefit in return. He does not work altruistically.

Someone with healthy self-esteem is never motivated by self-interest, nor does he or she use others to achieve a goal. They are generous and do not think about the benefits. Their way of helping is selfless, knowing that thanks to others they can improve and grow.

Related to self-admiration, the social hierarchy created by the person with ego is notable. He always considers himself above others due to his perfection, because he thinks he is superior in intelligence, beauty, skills, among many other things. He believes he is the center of the world.

The person with high self-esteem knows that no one is superior to anyone else and does not usually compare himself with others because he is aware that we are all different and develop different skills and qualities.

As personal coach Nuria Andreu explains very well, you cannot give something you do not have. This point is very important because people with good self-esteem are able to give love because they have loved themselves before, in the same way that they can meet the needs of others because they have already met their own.

People with a big ego cannot love or satisfy the needs of others if they themselves lack it. You cannot respect, love, accept and value another person if you do not practice it. That is why people with a healthy self-esteem are capable of accepting and loving, because they respect and love themselves above all else.

Not all of us are perfect and we have certainly been carried away by our ego at some point. Identifying the situation and solving it is much better than denying it and looking the other way.

Despite the thin line that separates ego from self-esteem, we must analyze and identify the points that define each concept and work on our self-love so as not to fall into ego.

As we have seen, the life and social relationships of people with healthy self-esteem are more enriching than those of people with ego. Reach your best version with the help of the team of online psychologists at .