Being in love It can be a wonderful feeling. The rush that comes with falling in love makes you see life in rose-colored glasses. Just thinking about that person makes you smile, talking to them triggers euphoria, and knowing that they are thinking about you makes you feel like you can touch the sky.
But falling in love ends. And that is precisely the reason why many people end their relationships. Because Being in love is not the same as wanting, Although many people believe that, for there to be love, there has to be an eternal infatuation.
Falling in love is the starting gun: at that moment, the attraction for the other person is magnified, the chemistry does its work and everything seems simple. The myths of romantic love have made us believe that love is always like this: intense, perfect and indestructible.
But Even in the best couples there is no such thing as “happily ever after.” Love, like happiness, is built day by day and sometimes it falters.
If you want to start a relationship, you may want to know the Main differences between loving someone and being in love.
5 differences between wanting and being in love
When you are in love your vision of the other person is distorted
When you are in love you tend to idealize to the other person, to see only the good. You do this because you don't know him or because you have just started to get to know him.
And, since your mind doesn't have enough evidence to hold on to, it has no choice but to imagineAt this time when happiness hormones are through the roof, it is logical that your mind imagines a perfect relationship, with a perfect person for you.
But there are no perfect relationships, and neither are there perfect people. And, once the infatuation calms down and the euphoria disappearsit is time to be alone with the other person's reality.
At that moment, two things can happen: you can become disillusioned and want to go back, or you can accept that slight disappointment but still want to continue.
In the first case, reproaches are very common. You lose your temper thinking that the other person has changed, while at the same time you try to change him or her to adapt to your tastes.
In the second, You assume your partner is a flawed person and you prepare to embark on a journey together, knowing that there will be ups and downs. And knowing, too, that you want to try.
Falling in love fuels insecurities, love, trust
The infatuation that follows the beginning of a relationship is a new stage. And, like any novelty, it can bring out the insecuritiesBeing in love is like being hooked. You want their undivided attention, and in return, you're willing to give them your all.
As we have already said, it is a time of great euphoria, but also it is a time of change. And you're probably wondering if it will work out, if you'll be enough…
Loving someone is choosing to share moments, but being in love goes further; it is feeling a deep connection that transcends desire, it is building an emotional bond that lasts over time.
Laura Rojas-Marcos
On the contrary, loving someone means trusting them. Therefore, once this first stage is over, insecurities should subside. You have chosen each other to build a project together and that is reason enough to trust.
If months go by and the insecurities and suffering do not disappear, it is very likely that you are immersed in a toxic relationship. If this is your case, do not hesitate to ask for professional help. Contact an online psychologist.
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Wanting implies knowing
Let's be clear: platonic love is not real love. Being in love with someone you don't know is not loving that person, because to love you must first know.
As we have already explained, falling in love will make you idealize the other person. But you need to keep in mind that you cannot love a beautiful physique, nor an empty image. To truly love someone you have to know what they are like. There has to be a connection between you.
When you want, you are able to put yourself ahead
Who hasn't complained about friends who, when they fall in love, forget about the rest of the world?
This annoying habit is very common among lovers. This happens because your perception changes and, during this stage, the other person becomes the center of your life.
But once you get over the crush, you should be able to put yourself back in the center of your life. Healthy love leaves room for other relationships and hobbies: for your friends, for your family and for the things you like.
Remember: Caring for others should not be an excuse to stop taking care of yourself.
Falling in love is not chosen, love is
Falling in love often comes without warning. One day you see someone, a wave of attraction hits you and suddenly you imagine yourself happy by their side.
Real love involves a commitment, a decisionLove involves seeing the good and the bad in people and choosing to stay, no matter what. In love, it is the feeling that controls you. In love, you control.
Psychological help is a good solution to learn to love in a healthy way. At we are experts in online therapy and we have a team of psychologists who can help you wherever you are.
At we have been experts in online therapy since 2012. Throughout our career we have helped more than 2,000 patients overcome various emotional problems. If you are interested in seeking the help of an online psychologist, you can request a free first session by clicking on the button below.
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