For most people, their mother is a fundamental and irreplaceable pillarThe death of a mother is an incredibly painful experience and it is normal for those who suffer from it to feel broken, empty and unprotected without her presence.
Although each person is unique, a mother's love is often unique and unconditional. From the moment you were born, your mother has loved you. accompanied, cared for and supportedso it is normal that his death is a shock and an irreparable loss for us.
How to deal with grief after the death of a mother
Coping with the death of a loved one, and especially the death of a mother, is one of the biggest challenges to those who have to cope a human being.
Although we know that this is a natural process of life and that we all must go through it, it is a loss that causes us very deep pain, hard to beat and that can lead us to long periods of sadness and depression.
Accepting the death of someone we love is a long processcan last for months or even years. There is no set length of time to overcome grief, as we all react differently to death. However, it is important to remember that the passage of time is key to be able to accept this situation.
Another important factor is the relationship you had with the deceased person. If your relationship with your mother was complicated and full of arguments, this can influence the grieving process.
The stages of grief
The Royal Spanish Academy defines mourning as the set of «demonstrations made to express the feelings one has for the death of someone.»
The five stages of grief are part of the process and each of them will help you accept the loss you have suffered and gradually heal your pain:
Denial
During this stage we do not accept or believe that our mother is no longer here and will not return, we are not able to understand it. In addition, at first the shock paralyzes us and our mind is unable to manage and accept what happened.
Denial helps us let in only that which we can handlehas an almost survival function.
Anger or rage
The stage of anger and gonna It is completely normal and we should let these emotions out, why? Anger shows that we can feelEven if it is anger, we begin to accept what has happened and we feel that way because we loved that person.
This stage can also lead us to resentment with the doctors or we get angry at the deceased person irrationally, we wonder why he or she did not take better care of himself or We feel guilty and we blame ourselves for not having seen it coming.
Negotiation
Denial can help our mind and give it the time it needs to adjust, but it is a phase that makes us believe that we can fix what has happened.
We fantasize that we can reverse death and we ask ourselves “what would have happened if…?” and we constantly think about what we could have done to prevent what happened.
As we go along and explore the process of neociation, we end up coming to the conclusion that the reality is that this person is gone and is not coming back.
Depression
This phase is characterized by the presence of a feeling of emptiness and sadness.
Because of the loss they have suffered, some people feel that they have no no incentive to continue with their daily lives and may end up isolating themselves from their surroundings.
Acceptance
During this phase, the person who has suffered the loss begins to accept the fact that the person who has left has left permanently and is a permanent reality.
How to move forward, 5 tips to achieve it
Getting over the death of a mother is very hard and takes time, but there are guidelines you can follow that will help you deal with the loss:
1. Talk about death
Talk about your mother's passing, express what you feel to be able to accept what happened and move on.
Denying what has happened is a toxic behavior that will only cause you more pain and suffering, take your time and talk to the people around you so you don't isolate yourself and fall into a spiral of denial.
2. Accept what you feel
Losing a loved one is never easy, it is normal to feel sadnessanger, frustration or gonna.
Accept how you feel and understand that it is part of a process that you must experience.
3. Take care of yourself
It is important that you do not forget about yourself and what you need during the process, take care of yourself and let those who love you help you during this difficult time.
4. Grief-recovery workshops
These types of workshops are not yet very well known but are very useful for those people who have suffered the loss of a loved one. Living this process of guided form and getting help from a professional can help you move forward.
Try a free session
Have you lost a loved one and need psychological help to accept it?
Make an appointment
5. Celebrate the life of your loved one, remember him/her with love
Your mother is gone and it is one of the hardest moments you will go through but as you gradually accept it, it is important that you remember her with love, that memories all those moments that you lived together and you are aware that although she has physically left, she will always be with you.
Receiving psychological help and going to therapy can be very useful tools to accept the loss and gradually overcome it.
If you find yourself in this similar situation or know someone who is going through a similar one, you are looking for a psychologist specialized in online couples therapy or sexual therapydo not hesitate to consult a professional.
Why choose
- We have been leaders in online psychological care since 2012.
- First informational appointment free.
- Online therapy from 40 euros per session.
- Team of senior psychologists, with decades of experience.
- All the therapy we offer is via videoconference. 100% confidential.
- The same psychologist will attend to you throughout the treatment.
- At you do not lose the money for the sessions. If you cannot connect or are not there, the session is postponed to another day.
- Attention in Spanish, English and Catalan.