Daniel Goleman, the father of emotional intelligence – Online Psychologists

When he was born, Daniel Goleman The desire to popularize was already in his blood. Son of a literature professor at San Joaquin Delta College and a sociology professor at the University of the Pacific, Goleman always excelled in his studies. Although he began studying anthropology at Amherst University, in his work on «Mental health from historical, anthropological and social perspectives» one could already glimpse a great interest in psychology. That is why at Harvard University he chose to pursue a doctorate in Clinical Development of Psychology and Personality.

Following in the footsteps of their parents, He has been a visiting professor at Harvard Universitywhere he studied and where he is still used to give lectures on psychology. However, his aspirations began to change when his mentor, David McClelland, got him a job at the psychology journal Psychology Today. His beginnings in this medium gave the starting signal to a long journalistic career which would continue in the offices of The New York Times, where he was an editor of the Behavioral and Brain Sciences section.

But Goleman has not only stood out as a scientific journalist, a facet that earned him Two Pulitzer Prize nominationsThe interest in writing that he experienced during his journalistic career has led him to publish almost about twenty books between 1977, with the publication of “The Varieties of Meditative Experience”, and 2016, the year in which he published “Triple focus”.

However, it is unthinkable to talk about his career as a writer without referring to «Emotional Intelligence»the bestseller published in 1995 that had sold 5 million copies just two decades later. Although Daniel Goleman was not the creator of the term emotional intelligence, he was the one who spread the concept throughout the world.

For Daniel Goleman, emotional intelligence is precisely one of the keys to success: «At best, IQ (intelligence quotient) appears to provide only 20% of the determining factors of success«He says. «It is the combination of reasonable talent and the ability to persevere in the face of failure what leads to success.»

In the words of Daniel Goleman, emotional intelligence is «the ability to Recognize our own feelings and those of othersto motivate us and to properly manage relationships«But is there any difference between emotional intelligence and intelligence as we know it? Well, the concept of intelligence as we know it corresponds to what is known as the «rational mind», which, as its name indicates, consciously produces rational thoughts.

However, emotional intelligence It falls within the emotional mindmore impulsive than the rational, since it is responsible for feelings. The abstract concept of the emotional mind corresponds, in fact, with the limbic systemwhich controls your physiological and emotional responses.

And is emotional intelligence less important than rational intelligence? No, because emotions have the power to take control of your life. “The learning part is the prefrontal cortex and the neocortex,” explains Daniel Goleman. “The part of the brain that has disturbing emotions is between the ears, and the brain is structured so that that part dominates the other if you are angry«Therefore, being aware of the immense power that your emotions have over you and learning to control them is one of the keys to achieving what you want.

Self-awareness is the fact of knowing distinguish what you feel and understand why you feel itThis is one of the most important keys to having good emotional intelligence, since being aware of what you feel will allow you to act based on it.

Furthermore, self-awareness is subdivided into three parts: emotional awareness, accurate self-assessment, and self-confidence. The latter, self-confidence, will allow you to overcome difficulties and it will help you to be a more consistent person, since momentary failures will not leave too deep a mark on your self-esteem: «One of the elements of professional success and success in life is being able to recover from failure.»

Once you have understood what you feel, you will be able to take control of your own emotions and move forward despite fear, sadness or anger. This is because one of the foundations of self-regulation is, precisely, the self-controlCertain emotions, such as anger, produce an effect on the brain that could be compared to a kidnapping: when you feel anger, your senses become clouded and it also affects the most rational part of the brain.

These feelings can reduce your productivityyour creativity and, ultimately, can be an obstacle to any type of task you try to perform. Self-control is responsible for controlling these negative emotions and bringing out rational thinking.

In addition, self-regulation consists of other pillars: reliability, conscientiousness, adaptability and innovation. These last two are responsible for overcoming obstacles and seeking new ways to achieve your goals.

Closely related to the previous point we find motivation, which is a process by which thoughts are directed toward your goals or problem solving. Goleman says, “I often speak to business groups and companies, and if you ask people in that world if our emotional intelligence is necessary for success, 70% of people would say yes.”

Motivated people have a greater strength in the face of problemsyou could say they are resilient people.

For Goleman, motivation can come from four different sources: from yourself, from those close to you, from «an emotional mentor» and from the environment that surrounds you, from things as apparently insignificant as the amount of light you perceive.

Empathy moves away from one's own emotions to focus on those of others, It's about putting yourself in someone else's shoes and understanding what they feel.By understanding what their emotions, desires and needs are, you will be able to establish stronger bonds with the people around you.

To be empathetic, it is necessary to focus on the other: observe and listen to them.

For Daniel Goleman, empathy includes: understand to others, help to others in their development, respond to your needsappreciate the diversity that offers us to understand the thoughts of others and to have political awarenessthat is, understanding what are the power mechanisms that govern relationships.

In relation to empathy, we find social skills, ability to relate to othersFor example, within social skills we find the ability to communicate effectively and also the ability to generate pleasure in others.

For Daniel Goleman, those with better social skills will be seen as leaders, they will know how to solve and avoid problems, they will know how to create strong emotional bonds and they will be able to drive change. Goleman believes that «what will make you a good team member, what will make you stand out, what will make you a great leader, has nothing to do with what you learn in school. The skills that will distinguish you are in the field of emotional intelligence«.

Therefore, it can be said that emotional intelligence does not only affect the emotions themselves, but It also influences the restGoleman claims that social skills are nurtured by openness, active listening and assertiveness, that is, the ability to express oneself firmly, without nervousness and at the right time.

If you have difficulty developing your emotional intelligence, remember that it can be learned. At we can help you train it and thus improve your relationship with yourself and with others.

There are quite a few psychologists who have attended TED conferences. In 2007, Daniel Goleman joined the endless list to give the world a lesson of compassion.

Goleman explains that compassion is inherent in human beings, «Our default wiring is to help: If we pay attention to the other person, we automatically empathize. What explains this predetermination towards helping are the mirror neuronswhose name could not be more apt, since they work in the following way: they are activated when you carry out an action, but also when others carry out that action.

That is, mirror neurons react to the actions of others, they are responsible for empathy: «Mirror neurons act like neuro Wi-Fi,» explains Goleman.They activate the same areas in our brain that are activated in everyone else's brain.«.

And if this is so, why do we sometimes show ourselves to be incompassionate? The answer is simple: because we focus on ourselves. Something as simple as looking at your phone will divert your attention from others and will be a barrier to empathy.

Goleman illustrates the importance of paying attention to others with a terrifying story: «My brother-in-law Leonard decided to write a book about a serial killer who terrorized our neighborhood many years ago. They called him the Santa Cruz Strangler: before he was arrested he had murdered his grandparents, his mother and five friends. My brother-in-law went to interview him […] and he dares to ask him 'How could you do it? Didn't you feel sorry for your victims?' […] And the strangler answers, 'No, if I had felt anguish I could not have done it, I had to turn off that part of me'«.

Each…