When it comes to falling in love with someone, that can be difficult. However, it is not impossible.
To make yourself love your partner, you must establish intimacy and have an emotional connection to build on.
If you can convince yourself that this person has outstanding and desirable traits that you find attractive or admirable, the chances are greater that you will fall in love with them.
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You must be willing and able to learn things about your partner that no one else knows.
So falling in love is a choice?
Not quite. It’s more like a chain of seemingly irrational events that contribute to falling in love with someone, but a chain of events that you can intentionally create.
how to make you love someone
1. Make sure you want this and are ready to fall in love.
Before you even try to make yourself love someone, you need to make sure you are in the right headspace to fall in love.
According to marriage and family therapist Frances Patton, if you want to fall in love in a serious way, you can do it intentionally.
«You won’t be able to develop this feeling with everyone. Some people they are not interested in sharing emotions«, he explains. «But with someone you are attracted to, who you can trust with your deepest feelings and who is compatible with you, you can fall in love on purpose«.
According to Keya Murthy, a clinical hypnotherapist and relationship coach, when you’re trying to Finding ways and reasons to love someone is more like a conscious choice you’re making.
«Others tell you how good this person is and over time, you notice how good there is in them and you tell yourself that this is good for youthen the person must be good for you and you start to love him» he says. «When you choose to fall in love of someone by the person and the way you feel when you are in their presence or think about them, that’s deeper. It is more than a mere attractionit is love. You love the person for who or she is and not just what he or she represents«.
Sometimes, Understanding the science of love and its intense feelings of attraction and attachment can also help.
When you choose to actively understand how and why people feel the way they feel when they’re in loveyou can learn how to activate dopamine and serotonin receptors in your brain to make you feel love more easily.
2. Learn to open yourself to love.
You should give you the opportunity to open up to this person you want to fall in love with. Notice every time you show them affection and try to appreciate this person little by little over time and not confuse lust with love.
According to Patton, the secret to fall in love intentionally it is develop emotional intimacy.
«Relationships are about emotions, share your own feelings and empathize with your partner. Over time, you fall in love with the person you have come to trust with your feelings and who has come to trust you with theirsPatton says.
You must make sure allow yourself to be vulnerable and share your dreams, fears and traumas with your partner so that can connect and develop empathy and love for you and you will do the same. When you open up to someone you can feel freer and very comfortable with that person.
When you meet someone, you should also make sure you focus on the positive things you know about that person and see how and if you love one or more things about it. Find little things you love them.
Sometimes you have to make yourself love them too faking it until you make it. As in the movie «The Proposal», sometimes pretending to love someone can make you realize what you love about that person and trigger feelings of intimacy and connection, and that works if the other person does the same.
3. Work on building intimacy through exercises.
The easiest way to learn to love someone is realize everything the person does for you and for others.
«If you like the way the person treats others, especially the older ones and the weaker ones who may not be older, then you know that this person She is a person worthy of admiration, love and being with herMurthy suggests. “Also, see if this person has characteristics like Stand up for yourself and stand up for what you believe in while remaining open to others. These are attributes that someone is worth appreciating and as much as for fall in love with them.
According to Lisa Rabinowitz, a couples counselor and therapist, research shows that you can fall in love with someone through intimacy exercises.
When you try intimacy exercises, make sure that you always there is a high level of eye contactas sustained eye contact can set intimate feelings between two peopleas definitely contributes to falling in love.
If you want to feel even closer to each other, try this exercise of look each other in the eye for four minutes straight.
«In 1997, Dr. Arthur Aron ‘made’ that 2 strangers will fall in love. You may ask yourself: How did she do it? She asked the couple to they will look into each other’s eyes for four minutes and then asked them to take a 90-minute session of intimate conversation with predetermined questions. We learned from this experiment and research that looking into the eyes creates closeness and connectionRabinowitz says.
By asking the person you want to fall in love with these questions, you two they can ignite a romance and spark a connection and maybe even a long-term relationship.
For learn to love someone you must feel close to your partner since, according to Rabinowitz, this is when the probability of falling in love is accelerated.
«The true love is usually different from romantic love or of ‘love at first sight‘. Dr. Gottman researched what makes a relationship successful, indicating that there are 3 stages of love: falling in love, building trust, and building commitment and loyaltyRabinowitz says.
This method also can help stay in love.
First, ask the person you want to fall in love with if the two of you can agree to sit down together to answer 36 questions in three stages.
To get started, start with the first 12 questions:
1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, who would you like as a dinner guest?
2. Would you like to be famous? Which way
3. Before making a phone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?
4. What would be a «perfect» day for you?
5. When was the last time you sang to yourself? For someone else?
6. If you could live to be 90 years old and keep the mind or body of a 30-year-old person for the last 60 years of their life, which one would you want?
7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you’re going to die?
8. Name three things that you and your partner seem to have in common.
9. What in your life do you feel most grateful for?
10. If you could change one thing about the way you were raised, what would it be?
11. Take four minutes and tell your partner the story of your life in as much detail as possible.
12. If you could wake up tomorrow having acquired any quality or ability, what would it be?
If the two of you are still comfortable after the first round of questions, you can move on to the next round.
you two should suspect deeper and more personal answers this time.
13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future, or anything else, what would you want to know?
14. Is there something you have dreamed of doing for a long time? Why have not you done it?
15. What is the greatest achievement of your life?
16. What do you value most in a friendship?
17. What is your most precious memory?
18. What is your most terrible memory?
19. If you knew that in a year you would die suddenly, Would you change something in the way you live now? Why?
20. What does friendship mean to you?
21. What role do love and affection play in your life?
22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. share a total of five elements.
23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel that your childhood was happier than that of most people?
24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?
After the second round of questions, you and your partner they must be on a very deep and personal level with each other and you two feel that a connection is already forming between you.
If you both want to end it, then you can answer the last round of questions.
25. Make three statements of real «we» each. For example, «We’re both in this room feeling…»
26. Complete this sentence: «I wish I had someone to share with…»
27. If you were to become a close friend of your partner, share what you It would be important for you to know.
28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time and Say things you wouldn’t say to someone you just met.
29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment of your life.
30. When was the last time you cried in front of another person?
31. Tell your partner something you already like about them.
32. What, if anything, is too serious to joke about?
33. If you died tonight without the opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not telling someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?
34. Your house, which contains everything you own, burns down. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make one last run to save any item. What could it be? Why?
35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find the most disturbing? Why?
36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner for advice on how you could handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how they seem to feel about their chosen issue.