A person who is jealous is usually because he presents internal insecurities that cause the need to have control over the other person. These jealousies can arise from some bad experience from the past that has not yet been overcome (infidelity, deception, etc.)
Relationships between people, whether family, friends or couples, are based on trust. However, trust is something that takes time to achieve and at the slightest it breaksA jealous person can break trust and end up deteriorating the relationship.
Most people who feel jealous try to do anything to avoid it. There are those who think that it can be changed and those who think that it cannot. The fact is that With a few steps and some advice, you can help change.
Next, we are going to teach you 4 steps you need to follow if you want to stop feeling jealous.
Recognize that you are a jealous person
The first step to change is accept that your jealousy exists. Realizing that something is not right seems like an easy thing, but Most people find it difficult to admit that they are jealous. For this reason, this step is the most complicated.
Despite being the most complex, also It is the most important. Being okay with ourselves could be at stake if we are in a situation where jealousy is the big problem. These seem harmless, but In the long run they become bigger and can destroy your relationship.
In 2009, a study was conducted in which it was explained that jealousy was influenced by different variables, but that it usually highlight cultural factors and psychological characteristics of people. Each person has their own methods for dealing with them.
Telling yourself that you are a jealous person It is a great challengeIt is common to talk to trusted people about relationships and mention that sometimes we are jealous. Advice is often given on what to do to get the other person to try to put jealousy aside, but nevertheless This will be more favorable if you ask a professional for help.
Therefore, the first step means recognition and acceptance that this problem exists and needs to be fixed.
Willpower, a great ally
You can't change this from one day to the next. It is a process that takes time and dedication. to yourself. Both on a physical level if you exercise and on a personal level in terms of attitude.
Having willpower and being able to say: “I'm going to change”, is something very important to achieve the goal of stopping being a jealous person. Being a long process there will be better days and worse days, but giving up cannot be in our plans. Otherwise, it will have been for nothing.
In the aforementioned research, it is explained that Willpower is related to motivation and the achievement process at individual and group levels. Ultimately, motivated people feel a sense of will that allows them to achieve whatever they set out to do.
Focusing on the differences that exist between motivation and will, they are considered concepts that are related because one leads to the other. If a person is motivated to make a change, they will do so willingly. If they develop the will to take the first step to change, then they will be motivated to move forward when they see the results.
Improve communication with your partner
It is not the best thing for a jealous person to try to change on their own, for that very reason It is recommended to talk and discuss insecurities with your partner. that concern you when you have doubts or problems that may arise. Establishing effective communication can be a good way to address any problem, especially if it involves jealousy.
Indeed, as with any problem, talking and communicating it to your partner is much better than keeping quiet and remaining silent. When faced with problems, Many people make the mistake of swallowing their feelings, something that later brings consequences.not only for himself, but also for those around him.
This step is essential and is related to willpower. When you do it, You will feel like you are moving forward and you will know that you will be able to solve everything you had in mind.
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What is a relationship to you?
In the highly connected society in which we live, people have different concepts of relationships and among them, There are many that are far removed from the reality of what one really is.
There are people who think that Being in a relationship means knowing where your partner is at all times, who they are with and what they are doing.This is because they think that this is the only way to be calm. In short, a tremendous lack of security and confidence.
If when reading it you have felt identified may be the indication of a great excess of jealousysomething that does not stay there and ends up reaching a stage of loss of control. If you are in this situation, the most advisable thing is to go to a professional. This type of behavior They usually define relationships based on insecurity and fear.
The University of the Basque Country also conducted research on jealousy. In it they address the importance of relationships among people. They are described as necessary and decisive for people since, thanks to them, personality develops, communication improves and other very important aspects.
Furthermore, they also reveal that these relationships They must have characteristics such as respect, privacy, trust, being healthy, etc. If jealousy appears, the relationship can be seriously damaged and in the end it will become a relationship between two people without any value.
Aspects to emphasize to a jealous person
When we are in a relationship in which one of the two members is jealous It is good to remind you of some aspects that make a relationship healthy and lasting.
- Love doesn't have to be possessivemust be based on trust, respect, communication and understanding.
- Love has to be freenot a controller.
- The other person does not belong to you and can leave at any time.
- You must face all those fears and insecurities.
- The self-esteem is the most important thingyou have to love yourself.
Nevertheless, You have to check if you are facing emotional dependency. People who suffer from this are very normally jealous because they think that at any moment you are going to leave them and they will not know how to live their life alone.
Tips to stop feeling jealous
Learning to value yourself, trust yourself and others with the aim of knowing that past experiences are part of something previous and not all people are the same as those who caused us harm. The fact that Having the courage and bravery to face what scares us can help us understand the causes of feeling so much jealousy.
The Self-esteem is a very important factor in the lives of all people, especially in the area of performance and attitudes towards academic activities. It can also be said that it is the consideration that one has towards oneself, and even, They define it as the vestige of the soul and what provides dignity to human existence.
If you want to establish a relationship that is based on respect and trust, valuing yourself and learning to love yourself is what is necessary. Exactly, you've probably heard it before, loving yourself before others is the most important thing.
It is best to consult a specialist to discuss this conflict before it becomes a much bigger problem. A professional can guide and advise you on what to do, how to do it and how to approach it.
If after reading the article you have questions, our psychologists at will answer them for you.
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