Relationships and sexual encounters caused by spite cause more harm than is generally believed. To successfully resolve them and be able to resume personal life without emotional dependencies, it is necessary to go through all the stages of grief in order to be ready for a new relationship.
Probably no one has better defined the feeling of resentment towards an ex-partner than Paquita la del Barrio with Rata de dos Patas, but despite the humor of the lyrics, the Mexican artist hides a whole psychological process that a person has to go through after a breakup.
When is it a problem?
The problem of grief after a breakup is deepened when we talk about a long-term relationship and that in many cases the end is marked by a divorce. The identities of the members of the couple are camouflaged to a certain degree and, in addition, they usually share hobbies and friendships and, when they separate, they can reach lose part of your social life and the liking for certain hobbies.
Sometimes it happens that one of the members of the couple breaks their process of getting over a breakup and enters a rebound ratio or begins to having sex with other people to forget. He behaves like this because of the rage or because he feels that the breakup was a stab in the back of his mind.
In the first case, he or she tries to fill the void in his or her life by entering into another relationship without having gotten over his or her ex. This is one reason why he or she may carry with him or her behaviors that he or she had with his or her previous partner and that may lead to the failure of the new relationship. They are also known as Liana relationships.
Heartbreak is like a persistent shadow that follows every step, reminding us of the importance of healing our wounds and cultivating self-love.
Laura Esquivel
The study conducted by Cassie Shimek and Richard Bello shows that It is more likely that a man will start another relationship out of spite.
In the second, if the previous relationship is not overcome, the feeling of guilt at the time of the approach and will associate it with negative emotions. Therefore the experience will be rather unpleasant.
It is worth mentioning that a study by the University of Missouri shows that those who feel more hurt and angry are those who are left, not so much those who leave, which is why they are usually the ones who maintain rebound sex. They also point out that those who were not heavily involved in a relationship were not as likely to have sexual encounters out of spite.
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The phases of liana relationships or rebound relationships
In general terms, it can be summarized relationship out of spite in four distinct phases:
Excitement and fun
Accompany the first weeks of the relationship and in general there are no problems. Here the new couple is idealized and you spend a lot of time with her. This is the stage in which you get to know a person and if it is due to spite, it usually happens days or weeks after a relationship has ended.
Not all that glitters is gold
Some time later More things are discovered about the new couple and the first problems and discrepancies appear.
The farewell
Since it hasn't lasted very long, it's easier to walk away from this type of relationship and many people who have started one decide to end it.
The conclusions
Whoever has gotten into a relationship out of spite which ends shortly after he is aware that it was not the best decision. He then goes through a period of mourning but less tortuous than in a normal relationship. If you are unable to move on and the grief affects your personal life in ways you cannot control, it is advisable to seek help from a psychologist. The Online therapy is also useful in these cases.
All of these situations that have a negative emotional impact are avoidable, but it is necessary to know how to deal with disappointment to prevent them from affecting self-esteem and the concept we have of ourselves.
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