It is well known by all that perfection does not exist. Human beings have flaws and make mistakes. Our creations are not perfect either. It is easy to assume that from time to time we need to upgrade our computers, change our cell phones or throw away our worn-out shoes. However, we still find it difficult to accept that we, in our imperfection, can fail.
The truth is that the old adage “nobody is perfect” is only half true. No, perfection doesn’t exist, but society still demands it. Social media shows us perfect bodies. People on TV and radio have perfect accents. Your boss demands perfect performance. And when you’re alone with yourself, it’s hard to overlook your mistakes.
It may seem like a normal consequence of living in this society, but it is not healthy. The inability to recognize mistakes not only affects relationships with others, but also with oneself. When you deny the possibility of making mistakes, you also deny them the opportunity to make mistakes. You take away the possibility of learningAnd learning is probably the most important thing in life.
When was the last time you allowed yourself to fail without punishing yourself? When was the last time you apologized for a mistake? And when was the last time you accepted forgiveness from someone else? In short, When was the last time you accepted a mistake, whether your own or someone else's?
There are two main reasons why we find it difficult to accept failures: guilt and ego.
The relationship between mistakes and guilt
Feeling guilty after making a mistake is extremely common.
There is nothing extraordinary about making mistakes, but society has made us believe that it is almost a capital sin.
However, when we analyze it coldly, it is easy to understand that mistakes are part of the human experience. When we are born, we have no knowledge of the world around us. Observation is the first thing that makes us learn to cope more or less successfully.
But we are unable to learn everything by watching others. That's when the experience. You learn to manage most of life's experiences by living. And, in the cycle of life, mistakes are of vital importance.
So why do we feel such aversion towards them? Well, because as children we have been taught that making mistakes is wrong. Who hasn't been told off in front of the whole class for making a mistake? Who hasn't been yelled at by their parents for bad behaviour?
Who hasn't felt the pressure to achieve perfection?
As we have already said, perfection does not exist. However, We humans have a very valuable ability: the ability to learn from experience. and become better and better.
Whatever goal you set for yourself, There will always be stones in the roadSometimes we are not able to give 100% and tiredness or distractions make us stumble. Occasionally someone pushes us and we fall helplessly. Other times, we simply do not see the obstacles.
Falling will always be part of the journey. All short-term goals are about moving forward no matter what. Mistakes are part of the human condition and we should not feel guilty for committing them.
When you feel guilty for having failed, remember that thanks to our mistakes we learn, we grow as people and we manage to be better than in the past.
If you are unable to forgive your own mistakes, perhaps it is the perfect time to go to psychological therapyAt we offer online therapy from 40 euros.
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The inability to accept mistakes
Guilt is an unpleasant feelingwhich makes us feel insignificant and worthless.
That is why we sometimes refuse to feel it. And to achieve this, we also have to deny having made any mistakes.
At first, it may seem like we do this to protect our self-esteemHowever, this technique will only serve to create a false sense of self-esteem: high self-esteem, yes, but unstable and completely dependent on how things turn out for us.
People with a high and unstable self-esteem They are aware of their qualities and also their defects, but when these are highlighted, it affects them especially. In addition, it is easy for external factors to affect the perfection they have of themselves. For example, getting a bad grade in an exam will damage their self-esteem.
For that reason People with unstable self-esteem tend not to recognize their mistakes.. Thus, they do not allow themselves to fail, always aiming for perfection and subjecting themselves to stress that is difficult to bear. If they fail, they feel unworthy and deeply sad. In the end, their inability to accept their own mistakes ends up damaging the relationship they have with themselves.
But this difficulty in accepting our own mistakes can also affect the relationship we have with others. When we refuse to acknowledge a mistake, we deepen the damage it has caused even further and We weaken trust that others feel towards us.
That is why it is so necessary to learn to recognize mistakes in a healthy way. Only in this way, we will be able to take care of ourselves and others.
Steps to accepting that you have made a mistake in a healthy way
- Understand mistakes as a learning experience. Failing may have hurt others, or even yourself, but if you treasure this learning and take advantage of this opportunity to become a better version of yourselfit will have been worth it.
- Don't torture yourself. As we have already said, failures are part of being human. You are much more than your mistakes and you should not judge yourself for them.
- Accept your mistakes and apologize to whoever has been hurt. There is no logical reason to feel ashamed of asking for forgiveness: it shows that we care about others and that we have enough emotional intelligence to know that we have made mistakes. Forgiveness is a sign of maturity.
- Take other people's feelings into account. Listening to those we have hurt will make them feel better and more understood. It will also allow us to be aware of the consequences of our actions and will encourage us to be better in the future.
- Take care of the repairs. Sometimes our mistakes have consequences for the lives of others. If you have the opportunity, try to fix things that have gone wrong because of your mistake. For example, if your father has had to neglect the weekly shopping to pick you up, ask for his forgiveness and go shopping yourself.
If you are unable to accept your mistakes and you think that it is affecting you or those around you, at we can help you. We offer a comfortable and economical alternative to conventional therapies and we have been experts in online therapy since 2012.
We can confirm that, since then, our team of online psychologists has helped more than 1,600 people overcome their emotional problems. If you also want to take that step and start looking after your well-being, you can try our services with a completely free first session.
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