Little things that drive men crazy

Clumsiness and cutesy to super feminine and confident attitudes, this is a list of details that men love in women.

A sexy stumble

When Jennifer Lawrence fell at the Oscars earlier this year, every man on Earth fell a little in love. The bump was weirdly hotter than any act of grace and elegance she could have pulled off on the red carpet, and we have no idea why. Inspired by these oddities, we present a guide to the little things women do that drive men crazy…

be clumsy

Falling, stubbed toe, getting your head stuck behind bars… obviously we don’t want anyone to get hurt but the little blemishes somehow scream perfection, especially when the girl has the guts to laugh.

Try and miss when kicking a soccer ball

We love to see women enjoy football as a sport, seriously, we like it. However, when a girl is a dead ball kicker, there’s something magical about it. She also consults trying and failing to hit a tennis ball. Hot.

To bake

Spoons and mixing bowls need licking, there’s flour on the nose (works like paint), things ooze and drip, and there are aprons, oh, aprons.

skate (bad)

When a man can’t skate he looks like a bearded Bambi on ice, it’s pathetic and disgusting. But when a girl can’t skate, there’s a lot of magic in her silly wobble. Ice skating works almost as well. Almost.

Use a towel as a hat

How do they even do those things? And why do they make them? Those towel turbans that are as much a mystery as they are a wonder… The latest in after-shower outfits we love without justification.

wear our clothes

When a girl puts on one of our dirty old shirts, she often looks hotter than if she’d spent two hours squeezing herself into a designer ensemble. See also, old band t-shirts, rompers, stiff hats. Everything that looks horrible on a man, looks sensational on a woman.

Decorate (and fill yourself with paint)

And think of all the efforts some women go to trying to look sexy. All those bikinis, all those surgeries, all those high heels that lead to paralysis and unnecessary diets. All that effort overcome by a girl with a drop of paint on her nose.

eat spaghetti

We say spaghetti but anything that’s a mess is terribly hot. Clams, crab, ribs, chicken wings, hot dogs with anything on top, spiked corn, donuts that are overflowing with jam and powdered sugar coating…

Nail biting

Girls can spend small fortunes on manicures, diamonds are embedded in pretty cuticles, beautiful unicorns, moonbeams and swans are carefully painted on the nails. Or they can just eat them like crazy and be beautiful enough to stop traffic.

drink with straw

The more straws, the better. If the straw is curly or funny in any way, that’s wonderful too. Maybe you could try blowing instead of sucking, making bubbles in the drink? And while we’re on the subject of blowing…

Blow a bowl of soup

Maybe it’s all in the little trunk it takes to blow, maybe it’s the tilt, maybe we just don’t want it to burn our tongues, who knows? There is no scientist who can figure out why he turns us on but he does. He does, he does, he does.

rubbing eyes

It has to be done with closed fists, rubbing the eyes very hard. Like a baby would. Pair it with a yawn and then maybe a sigh. Wonderful, just wonderful.

Play golf

Legend has it that the word ‘golf’ is the old acronym for ‘gentlemen only ladies forbidden’, that is, ‘gentlemen only, ladies forbidden’ in English, but luckily nobody pays attention to that nonsense. Whether professional or disaster, there is something magical about a woman taking a nine stick in the wind and rain.

A safe walk in the office

He walks fast, with a folder pressed to his chest, he goes to an important meeting to which we were not invited or to a photocopier for which we do not have the code. Ah, die and reincarnate in that folder. Who knows why? Maybe it’s the influence of Mad Men…

Speak in a puppy voice (to a dog)

Also works with baby talk (To a baby). If you talk like that to an adult human, people are going to run across the street to avoid you, but if you do it right, it’s adorable.

swear

We don’t mean someone who swears all the time. No to a dirty mouth. Not Liam Gallagher in a dress. But rather the occasional ‘fucking mother’ when they drop the hammer during a complicated DIY.

chewing on a pen

The pen has to be cheap and ugly, maybe it’s not even hers. She has to be gnawing at the lid in a way that indicates she doesn’t even know she’s doing it. She doesn’t have to bite him in a conscious seductive way. That would be stupid.

Get bored with our nonsense

Whether we’re watching a football game together, playing video games, or guitar-playing about how cool it is to blow on a bowl of soup, one indifferent gaze and we’re in love. Boredom shouldn’t be good but it is.

ruffle the hair

There are flutters of hair from running, dancing, jumping, skating (desperately, please, Lord, desperately). You can even blow your hair upside down on a hot day. Pfffff makes the mouth, and raises the bangs. Pffffff, flutter, happiness.

Font: Msn Latino