Removing the mask of a friend from someone who claims to accompany us in good times and in bad times is «VERY DIFFICULT», but we have to do it for our mental and emotional health.
It is difficult and we know it, although many people come into our lives without any intention, their behavior changes over time according to what they see they can take from our lives.
It is for this reason that we must identify them and here we are going to help you.
1. Types of fake friends: the social climber
One of the first false friends that we usually meet early in life is the «social climber». We see them in elementary school, high school, college, and of course, in our work environments.
They are those who build bonds of friendship only for one purpose: to climb positions in the social context. Thus, it is common that in their school days they seek the proximity of the most popular students or those who obtain the best grade. Later, and in a work context, they will not hesitate to humiliate and manipulate right and left to climb positions.
2. The friend who is in the good times and becomes invisible in the bad
This type of false friendship will undoubtedly sound familiar to most of us. We are talking about those people who are always close by on days of calm and well-being, who sign up for any plan, any party, getaway or last-minute proposal. Nevertheless, when a problem or situation arises where we would most appreciate your support and interest, they disappear like the wind closing a window…
3. The bug finder, the one who judges you
If there is something that characterizes the healthiest friendship, it is one that provides us with well-being at all times. This makes us feel good with the closeness of him, that we have the security that we will not be judged or criticized and that by spending a few hours with that person, we will leave better than we have arrived.
However, this does not happen with false friends; with them it is common for us to return home much worse than before. In fact, a typology that tends to abound is that which has the hobby of looking for mistakes, drawing our attention to each mistake we make (or not) and judging us day in and day out. This type of dynamic generates considerable emotional wear.
4. The one who quietly or blatantly envies you
«It’s just that you do everything well», «those things don’t happen to you like they do to me», «you’re always very lucky»… This and other types of phrases are what those false friends usually repeat to us that deep down inside of their being, they envy us.
Nevertheless, what is in them is a low self-esteem, which leads to this type of very unhealthy interactions for both parties.
5. The one who wants things to go well for you but not better than him
This trait of false friendship is as curious as it is common at the same time. It manifests itself in the following way: we have people who encourage us to improve ourselves, to achieve things, however, when this happens, far from feeling happy for us, they distance themselves or show discomfort.
After this type of situation what there is, once again, is a marked low self-esteem. They will always feel more comfortable with us as long as we are at their level and in their same conditions. However, any hint of success or overcoming puts them in evidence, plunges them into contradiction and discomfort.
If you buy a mobile, do not hesitate, one of your friends will seek to acquire a much better one. If you join the gym, be careful, he or she will also do it to beat your marks. His goal: to be better than you in anything you do, in any purpose you set for yourself or in any achievement you achieve.
These false friends act as our nemesis, that persecuting and vengeful shadow that will try to be better than us in any area of our lives.
6. The one who manipulates you
The manipulative friend is that discreet but relentless specimen that, almost without us realizing it, anchors the strings of a puppet to manipulate us at will for a while. Sometimes he will use victimhood, other times emotional blackmail and others deception and infinite Machiavellian strategies to keep us in the palm of his hand. and get what you want at all times.
To conclude, as we can already guess, there are many more types of false friends: the one who criticizes, the one who betrays, the one who spreads gossip… We could describe multiple typologies, however, the most important thing of all this is that in addition to identifying them, we know how to handle them .
Sometimes, you don’t necessarily have to resort to breaking that bond. Sometimes it is enough to make things clear, set limits and even, why not, promote the personal growth and self-esteem of that friend so that he is able to create healthier relationships.
Taken from Gutenberg