Although you hear a lot about single mothers, what about men who raise their children alone? A real testimony from a young dad reveals how to be a single parent.
Formerly the family was made up of mom, dad and children; stop counting. Now things have changed and families too. In all corners of the world there are mothers who are heads of households, but also, although less well known, parents who decide to raise their children alone.
How to be a single father? It is not an easy task
We introduce you to Roger Acosta. He is 39 years old, is a publicist and works as a creative director in an advertising agency. His daughter, Alison. He is 22 years old and studies political science. They live near the university where Alison studies with Patilla, a Creole dog who is the family pet. He is a single father and told us about his experience in a moving interview.
At what point did you decide or realize that you were going to be a single dad?
“Being such a young father, that is not decided, but discovered. My daughter was living alone with me in my parents’ house, when she was about 5 or 6 years old, and she didn’t want to leave; already there one knows that the rest of her life, or at least until she decides to make her own life, we were going to be together, alone. ”
How did you deal with household chores, work and raising your daughter?
At first my parents helped me a lot, especially my mom. While I was in college and started working, my mom helped me a lot. When my daughter became more independent, in her teens, we could already live alone.
Dealing with household chores is getting organized, it’s simple. You take care of such and I take care of such. And respect the spaces.
Did you have any complications with love dates and couples?
“To tell you that today, if I were to tell my daughter that she is going to have a little brother by my side, I would give her a hard time, because it has never been in our plans. And therefore, with the girls she was very jealous, she didn’t like any of them, she always found a but; however, she always supported me and she understood that I was alone. And now that she is older it is much easier, because she understands me a lot since she has already had partners. ”
How did the other parents and mothers react at school?
“They still think I’m the big brother. Once, in high school, a teacher told me that she was very sorry but that she couldn’t let me in to the meeting because only parents were allowed in.»
“Alison was like 14 years old and we went to a skating competition and the other parents thought ‘how stubborn that this girl’s parents had let her travel with a man.’ Until they found out that I was the father, they didn’t change the way they looked at me scratched.»
What specific challenges did you have to overcome with your daughter for being a father and a mother at the same time?
“One of the biggest challenges is the dedication of time, what you can share with them versus what you have to dedicate to work.”
What has been the hardest thing about being a single parent?
“Being very selfish, sometimes not being able to share time with friends, so many parties, so many parties, trips, walks; for the rest, nothing, being a dad is wonderful, everything is a learning experience.”
“My daughter is already 22 years old and for her to be so independent, for her to go out, for her not to stay at home all of a sudden, it’s difficult. And you are left alone and you feel the emptiness.”
Today, what does your daughter think of her unusual family?
“She is very happy with her father, very proud, she knows that I work hard for her, that she is one, two and three priority. This is our family and we love her. Although it is unusual, for us it is the most normal thing in the world.”
Tell us an anecdote that you think exemplifies what it means to be a single father
“All boyfriends, for me, are going to be called the same: They are called Torobolo. Torombolo 1, Torombolo 2, Torombolo 3. To all the boyfriends who have passed through his life I don’t tell them by name but they are Torombolo. He hated that, especially when he was a teenager; I already lowered that.”
Give a message to other parents who are in your situation
“That every second you have, dedicate it to your children. They should always be priority. Nothing should ever be above your needs. Listen to them, understand them. You have to be the dad you wanted to have.”
What do you think? Write what you think in the comments, and take advantage of the Father’s day to send a message of love to that special being in your life.