If your dog is afraid of you, it is usually due to a lack of socialization or past traumatic experiences. Under certain circumstances it can also be due to upbringing, insufficient self-confidence or illnesses.
This happens often with street dogs or dogs from animal shelters. Just like with four-legged friends who previously had other owners. Typical signs of anxiety are:
- Frequent yawning: A sign of elevated stress hormone levels.
- Increased attention: Every step you take is closely watched.
- Anxious posture: Tucked tail and ears laid back.
- Slight tremor: A sign of an adrenaline release.
- Avoiding eye contact: Dog never faces you head-on.
- Whining and whining: Typical sign when you can't escape when you're afraid.
- Licking the lips: This behavior is a sign of submissiveness.
- Sudden incontinence: The otherwise house-trained dog suddenly runs into the apartment.
- Fake loss of appetite: No feeding from your hand will be accepted.
- Aggression: The last option if your dog cannot escape if he is very scared.
The more precisely you can find out the cause, the more effectively you can counteract it. For this reason, you will learn about the 6 most common causes below.
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#1 Inadequate socialization
Wild dogs automatically get used to other animals. In most cases they live in packs and regularly meet other animals in the wild.
Even street dogs in cities are automatically socialized through proximity to people. This is not the case with domestic dogs. This goes back to upbringing.
It becomes a problem when young four-legged friends are always kept at home and rarely come into contact with strangers. So they are inadequately socialized.
Then it's no wonder these dogs are afraid of you. Because they don't know whether you're a threat or not. The following procedure is recommended here:
- 1) Find the inhibition threshold up to which distance the dog is “okay” with you.
- 2) Hold this distance for a longer period of time before shortening it a little.
- 3) Repeat the first 2 steps as long as necessary. [1]
The golden key here is to proceed step by step. Patience is required. Because if you get too close too quickly, your four-legged friend won't be able to get used to it.
By the way, it is completely normal for young puppies to initially be fearful of you after being separated from their mother. But that should go away relatively quickly.
If dogs are not sufficiently socialized, they are often afraid of strangers and sometimes even of their own master. The solution here is to gradually and regularly get the dog used to contact with others.
#2 Traumatic experiences
When I was 5 years old, I wanted to pet a black cat while out and about. As I approached, the cat jumped up in fear and scratched my face with all its claws.
Today it is around 25 years later and I still have an uneasy feeling when I see a black cat. This protective mechanism also exists in dogs.
Dogs from animal shelters or street dogs in particular have more often experienced traumatic things that still influence their behavior today. This is particularly true when dealing with violence.
So it's no wonder that many first-time owners write desperately in online forums after adopting a four-legged friend from an animal shelter: “Help, my dog is afraid of me”.
The solution here is to replace the negative associations with positive ones. Consistency is key. The following methods can help:
- Regular treats
- Extra attention
- Build a fixed routine
- New toys regularly [2]
Admittedly. This method will not produce immediate results. But you solve the problem at the root. And the more routinely you do this, the more effective it will be.
If dogs have had traumatic experiences with people in the past, this may cause them to be afraid of you. The aim here is to convert negative associations into positive ones through constant rewards and a routine.
#3 Focus on negative feedback
Basically, there are a variety of ways in which you can train dogs. However, all methods always refer to the same two basic rules:
- Reward behavior that you want to see more often.
- Punish behavior that you no longer want to see.
Dogs can be motivated just like us humans. Through joy and fear. And fear is known to be a stronger motivator. But that can also become a problem.
This happens when there is too much focus on negative feedback in education. So hardly any treats or attention as a reward, just punishments.
With sensitive breeds, it's only a matter of time before they become afraid of you. Especially if you use electric collars or force.
In my opinion this is completely unnecessary. Studies have also shown that positive feedback methods are more effective in the long term than electric collars. [3]
By the way, violence can also be verbal. Yelling at a dog is therefore also not advisable. Because dogs are among the top 5 most likeable animals in the world.
When first-time owners desperately complain that their dog is afraid of them, it is often due to training. Because too many negative feedback methods can intimidate and frighten sensitive dogs. Here the focus should be more on rewards.
#4 Sensory overload
As a dog owner, you have probably already had the experience that your dog suddenly becomes afraid of you when you are dressed up. I experience this every year at carnival.
The fear in this regard is not due to the costume, but rather to the large number of new sensory stimuli. Because dogs' sense organs are vastly superior to ours:
- Nose: Dogs smell between 10,000 and 100,000 times better than humans. [4]
- Eyes: Dogs see 5 times brighter in the dark and up to 270° around them. [5]
- Ears: Dogs hear ultrasonic frequencies and around 4 times further than we do. [6]
In the wrong environment or dressed incorrectly, dogs become afraid of you relatively quickly. This is especially true in unfamiliar areas and crowds.
But dog parks or city life can also unsettle four-legged friends so much that they fear everything and everyone. But the solution is just as simple.
How? By reducing the number of sensory stimuli. Because in a familiar and seemingly boring environment, four-legged friends find it much easier. [7]
Especially with young puppies, you should consciously choose a quiet environment after being separated from their mother so that the little guy can get used to it.
When dogs' eyes, ears and nose are flooded with new stimuli, it can trigger anxiety. If dogs are afraid of you in such an environment, then it is important to change the environment. The fewer sensory stimuli, the better.
#5 Lack of self-confidence
Dogs can only live together in packs in the wild because they instinctively form hierarchies. As is well known, at the top of this pyramid is the Alpha.
Secondary are the Betas, followed by the Deltas and Omegas. Even in the family household, dogs live according to this hierarchy. Except that the master is the alpha. [8]
Sensitive dogs in particular tend to submit to everyone and everything. Externally, it is almost the same as fear. Particularly sensitive breeds are:
- Australian Shepherd
- Labrador retrievers
- pug
- Golden retrievers
- Cavalier King Charles Spaniel
- Great Dane
- Border collie [9]
If your dog also belongs to this category or is even afraid of you, then it is important to build up his self-confidence in a targeted manner. Best practices are here:
- Avoid negative feedback methods
- Give your dog more attention
- Praise your four-legged friend in the presence of other dogs
- Don't abuse his trust
- Teach your dog tricks
If you get stuck here, I can recommend Johanna Esser's online dog school. You will find several great modules there on exactly this topic.
When dogs lack self-confidence, they are more likely to behave excessively submissive or even become afraid of their own master. Here it is important to focus on positive feedback methods in order to specifically build self-confidence.
#6 Existing medical conditions
If there are existing illnesses or injuries, owners may unknowingly hurt their dog. The most common problems here include:
If your dog suddenly avoids any contact with you or even hides, this may be due to the pain caused by a pinched nerve.
According to studies, one in three dogs over the age of 10 is said to struggle with dementia. The associated memory loss is usually accompanied by severe anxiety. [10]
According to the forums, this is the first guess of many first-time owners who desperately write in forums “Help, my dog is afraid of me”. However, such disruptions are rare in practice.
Dislocated vertebrae, herniated discs or other back problems can make physical contact painful. Most four-legged friends therefore tend to keep their distance.
This hormonal disorder causes dogs to produce abnormally high levels of stress hormones. Here the fear is not natural, but due to illness. [11]
If your dog suddenly becomes afraid of you, this could indicate existing illnesses or injuries. In such cases, I recommend visiting the vet. This is especially true if there are other symptoms.
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