Life presents options at every moment: What do I study: science or literature? Do I have a future if I choose this job offer? Should I separate from my partner? Okay, maybe these questions are not of enormous importance in your life and you need a period of weeks to decide. But other small decisions in your life, such as what I eat for lunch, They represent a mountain of confusion and indecisionIf your case is the one described, you are suffering from what is known as aboulomania.
The term aboulomania comes from Greek and its translation into our language would be «without will«. Indecision is considered, by society in general, to be characteristic of people with little personality and influenced by the opinions of their environment. In the following article you will be able to see what this disorder consists of, the consequences in everyday life and how it can be overcome. to solve this obstacle.
What is aboulomania?
Psychological experts say that aboulomania is a mental disorder in which a person suffers from serious indecisions in everyday life. Living in a continuous period of indecision when faced with any range of options is frustrating. The person will feel incapable of taking control of his or her life and will be susceptible to the preferences of others.
Why does this difficulty in choosing occur? Aboulomania comes from two opposing pathways:
- Fear of failure: The person does not want to make a decision for fear of negative consequences in the future. It can also be seen as an act of irresponsibility. He bases his decisions on the advice of other people so that he can use someone as an excuse if things go wrong.
- Desire for perfectionism: He always wants the best and is not satisfied with mediocrity. This motive is also encouraged by fear, but instead of being afraid of failing, the frustration of not enjoying excellence prevails.
The two reasons you just read are manifested through some symptoms such as excessive worry, obsessive thoughts, overestimation of the possible consequences of insignificant decisions, disclaimer of any minimal responsibility… In the social field (friendships and romantic relationships) will not assume leadership when making plans or making commitments, a characteristic of the fluid relationships that are so in vogue lately.
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These are the consequences of chronic indecision
Being between two waters This is not a positive aspect for most people, especially in these times. In an increasingly polarized society, where any issue has two opposing sides, the undecided are seen less well. The consequences of aboulomania are the following six:
- Constant rumination: Constant obsession is not healthy. Intrusive and recurring thoughts are negative in tone and this is due to the inability to accept the possibility of a minor setback in one's decisions. The development of OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) is quite likely.
- High emotional dependence: If you leave your decisions in the hands of others, it is normal that you do so with the people you trust the most. Relationships can become unhealthy since those around you will feel overwhelmed by the pressure you put on their shoulders.
- Social isolation: The enormous difficulty of making plans with an indecisive person is obvious. In the long term, friends will start by not consulting you about their proposals because of the waiting time to get a response.
- Bad work environment: Work is another environment where decision-making capacity and initiative are valued. Two traits that do not exist for people who suffer from aboulomaniaThe risks can range from a salary reduction to dismissal.
- Unhealthy self-esteem: The inability to make decisions is a sign of low self-confidence. The paralysis caused by the idea of not choosing the best option will progressively undermine morale to the lowest levels of confidence.
- Anxiety disorders and depression: The ultimate consequence, if you haven't found a solution in time, is to suffer from mental illnesses such as anxiety or depression. The subconscious has written the idea that you are not good at making decisions, let alone for other more important tasks.
How do I solve the problem?
In order to solve this difficulty it is necessary know the origin. Common factors are the parenting styleespecially those who are overprotective, traumatic situations experienced during this period of life such as episodes of bullying either biological factors such as some trauma to the prefrontal cortex.
Experts recommend psychotherapeutic intervention with a professional. The psychologist will give you all the tools to develop that autonomy so necessary for put an end to this problemThe process will attempt to transform the person's vision from seeing decision-making as something threatening to seeing it as an opportunity to grow.
In PsychiaThrough our online therapy service, we have a network of professional psychologists at your disposal to help you solve your difficulties when choosing between different options. Try one briefingcompletely free, to be able to enjoy all the advantages of this form of therapy.