In our society, death is seen as something painful, a taboo subject that can destroy the lives of those it touches at any moment. It is therefore not surprising that fear of death be so common.
The simple act of imagining our own death can be a thought distressinggiven the uncertainty and multiple responses about the future without our presence. The anxiety generated can make us unable to continue with our lives.
The fear of death is not only related to our own disappearance. This phobia can appear with the loss of loved oneswhich can cause emotional wounds that are difficult to heal.
Why does this fear exist?
Some of the main reasons that cause this fear of death are the following:
- People unconsciously have the desire (and the perception, at certain stages of life) of immortality and that everything continues in the same way. This happens especially in moments of greatest happiness and stability, when nothing and no one wants to disturb that well-being. And much less death.
- Another factor that comes into play in the development of this phobia is that humans are the only animals that have consciousness. People are capable of abstracting themselves and, although we want to avoid the subject at all times and places, we know what awaits us at the end of our lives.
- This awareness causes us to be conscious of the various parts that make up our self. «physical self» and the «spiritual self». As long as we are aware of what is happening to the “physical self,” the unknown about what happens to the «spiritual self» opens up a universe of questions that are impossible to answer. Religion tries to fill this void, through the reward of eternal life in paradise and so on, if you comply with the rules established by said belief.
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How does the fear of death manifest itself?
- Feeling of emptiness in the chest: We are overwhelmed by the thought of what would happen to the people around us the day we leave this world.
- Omission of the topicbecause the problem is only visible if you talk or think about it.
- Negative daydreams: nightmares that keep you awake in the middle of the night are one of the most common symptoms that indicate a fear of death. If we stop to think about it, deep sleep and death are two similar cases: in both, we are not aware of what is happening.
- Anguish over loss of relationships: With death, whether your own or that of a loved one, the existing bond will be broken and there will be no way to fix it. A breakup with a friend or a partner may lead to a reconciliation. Death means the total and definitive loss of connection with all the people around you.
Evolution of the fear of death
We evolve and change our perceptions of different aspects of measurement, based on our personal growth. Our vision of death takes different paths depending on the stage we are in.
The first contact with death is usually in childhood, either through stories, tales or the loss of loved ones. It is common for there to be a pause and then, adolescence sensations emerge which indicate a fear of death. At this stage, the phobia can develop in two different ways:
- There is a terrible fear to die since it would imply a complete break with key people at this stage of our lives, such as friends.
- This fear usually diminishes if adolescence is a phase of continuous traumas and negative situations, and they see death as a way out of their problems. A fact that demonstrates this is the suicide rate in the youth population, being the first cause of unnatural death in this population segment.
The adult life It is a period when we are absolutely overwhelmed with tasks and obligations. The stress of routine life prevents us from thinking about the future, even in the long term. Motherhood is the time when we return to thinking about death, since now a person depends on us for the rest of their days.
Near-death experiences, a contribution to life
Despite ignoring the subject, there are certain unavoidable circumstances that put your feet on the ground and you have to look the dead person in the face. road accidenthe diagnosis of a disease serious or the loss of a person from the family nucleus are some of the most emotionally difficult events.
The effect of suffering near-death experiences can serve as an impetus for hold on to life and look for situations that will make you want to live it. You are aware that death is unpredictable and you don't want to waste a single second. One example is the pandemic situation we have recently experienced: people are more eager than ever to make different plans.
How do I overcome fear?
This fear of disappearing from the world can be a warning that you are not enjoying life. Reconnect with your self and give importance to your needs It is essential. Do everything possible to feel comfortable with yourself, so that in 5, 10 or 20 years you won't regret not having tried.
You must look at death as something inevitable and irremediable. Think that death is a state of unconsciousness just like before birth. The worries you have in your head about a future without your presence are of little use, if you are going to be in a state of unconsciousness in which you will not know how the lives of your family and friends are going.
The fear of death, not only our own but also that of those close to us, can mean a trauma that carries certain consequencesIt is essential to know how to manage grief in a healthy way, emotionally speaking.
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