I want to learn to manage anger, but I don't know how to do it – Online Psychologists

We are all aware of what the anger because we've all felt it at some point. When something bothers us we feel a kind of rage that invades us, whether in an ephemeral and fleeting way or totally.

Anger, like the sadness or joy is an emotion. A completely normal emotion in human beings and one that is also healthy. It is something natural in people when something bothers us or we don't like it.

However, it stops being normal when we lose control over it. It can be destructive and cause many problems in all aspects of life: at work, in personal relationships and in our quality of life.

What is anger?

As we have already mentioned in the previous section, anger is a emotionMore specifically, according to the psychologist Charles Spielberg, It is an emotional state that varies in intensity from mild irritation to fury. intense character.

As with other emotions, anger brings with it psychological and biological changesWhen we get angry, our heart rate increases. This means that our heart rate and blood pressure increase. The level of adrenaline, noradrenaline and hormones in our blood also increases.

Therefore, anger is usually expressed with a high activation of the autonomic nervous system. In an involuntary, unconscious and automatic way. This generates tension in the body, the one already mentioned acceleration of heart rate and a intense nervousness.

This state will favor the appearance of behaviors and thoughts that can bring with them negative consequences.

What negative consequences does it have?

The negative consequences of anger arise mainly from two aspects:

  • The emotion of anger is associated with destructive potential. This in turn is related to aggressive behaviors that can put the integrity of the person or others at risk. On more than one occasion we have seen angry situations on the road. There are those who only honk their horn. However, there are those who react by insulting and even getting out of the car to threaten the other person. Not controlling our anger can lead to us getting into fights, causing physical damage, but also emotional and psychological damage.
  • When we manage anger poorly we suffer emotional consequences. We experience feelings of culpabilityshame or sadness. After having committed a bad act, when we get angry, we usually spend time thinking about how badly we have done or how we have behaved.
  • Social rejection occurs. Since we cause harm to other people, those people begin to feel distrustresentment and incomprehension towards us. Which further increases our emotional discomfort.
  • It can affect our physical health. Generate ourselves cardiovascular problems or that influences recovery after having suffered such conditions.

If you feel that anger has taken over your life, it may be time to contact an online psychologist.

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How can we control anger?

We must know and understand what the mechanisms of anger are and how it can affect us. A first step to managing it is learning to identify it. Knowing what it is related to and thus being able to learn to prevent it.

From that moment on, there are a series of strategies that will help us control anger:

  • RelaxationRelaxation techniques and learning to breathe help us control anger attacks. They calm the feelings of anger. Once you learn these breathing techniques, you can use them in any situation. It is advisable to practice them daily so that you can use them automatically when you are in a stressful situation.
  • Change the way you think. People who get angry often have the habit of always think negative. They curse and insult, they speak with ugly and foul language. Try replacing this with positive thoughts and reasonable. Don't get carried away by the moment of anger because you may regret it later.
  • Solve the problems. Learn that the solution to your problems is not to get angry. You will not achieve anything by doing so. What you have to do is concentrate on improve your attitude. Think about how you can deal with the problem without getting angry.
  • Improve communication. When you have a conversation with someone who is angry, remember that the worst thing you can do is “lose your temper”. Talking helps you understand things better. Calm down and breathe, and once you are calm, express your emotions. Communicate In the best possible way, if you pay attention to the other person and reason your answers, everything will go better.
  • Use a sense of humor. Sometimes laugh at us about ourselves or about what has happened makes the matter less important. Seeing it from a more “funny” perspective may ease your anger.

What if I can't control my anger?

If you feel that when you get angry, anger takes over you and you are out of control, it is advisable that ask for help. When this happens there may be negative consequences in your personal relationships. That is, it can affect important aspects of your life.

A professional of the mental health can help you. He or she will work with you to develop new techniques that will help you change the way you think and act.

At we have been helping patients from all over the world to find their well-being since 2012. Our psychologists will be able to teach you new methods so that you are able to control those situations in which you are overcome with anger. You will be able to face problems in a different way, a way that does not end up hurting you and those around you.

To date, more than 1,600 people have turned to us to find an online psychologist. If you also want to try our services, you can request a consultation First session free by clicking the button below.