Gray divorce: the impact of separation on the maturity of life – Online Psychologists

Divorce is the order of the day. According to the latest data collected by the National Institute of Statisticsof the year 2021in Spain, during that period there were almost 87,000 divorces. Although we think that all divorces are the same, depending on the age at which they occur, one type or another will occur, such as the case of gray divorce.

What is gray divorce?

A divorce is one that occurs after the breakup of a marriage after many years. The grey divorce has a particularity, since it encompasses all those divorcesthat are given since the members of the couple, over 50 years oldAlthough it may seem strange, this type of divorce, little known, is booming.

According to the INE, in 2013, there were almost 96,000 divorces in our country, of which 13.72% occurred after the couple was 50 years old. However, eight years later, in 2021, there were almost 87,000 divorces, representing 21.23% of the so-called grey divorces, almost 8% more. Therefore, it is clear that these are on the rise.

Although gray divorces are on the rise, one way to stop the situation is for the couple to put themselves in the hands of a psychologist, through online couples therapy. Having an external person give guidelines and advice on how to manage the relationship can help prevent it from ending.

Why does gray divorce occur?

Unlike divorces that occur at earlier stages of life, gray divorce presents unique characteristics and challenges due to the stage of life in which it occurs. Each stage of life has its concerns. When you reach an advanced age, with many experiences under your belt, your concerns are completely different from those you had when you were young.

  • Emotional emptiness. As the years go by, some couples may experience an emotional void in their relationship. If there have been children, they will have grown up and most likely become independent. daily routines They reach a point where they become monotonous and the emotional connection of the couple weakens. This can lead to couples they sit alonewhich in turn can trigger the desire to seeking a new life outside of marriage.
  • Infidelities. Although it is true that infidelity can be one of the causes of divorce at any stage of life, in gray divorce there are times when this occurs. After so many years of marriage, Some couples may feel the need to seek out new experiences or emotional relationships out of wedlockwhich can lead to the breakdown of the relationship if the other person finds out.
  • Changes in roles and expectationsAs you approach retirement, one or both partners may be looking for some new activity to do and be busy during the day, instead, the other party may want to be quieter. If these changes are not manage properly, they can tensions and conflicts arise that contribute to divorce.
  • Health problems. As you age, it is common for health problems in one or both members of the couple. Chronic illness, disability or loss of physical capacity, can generate significant stress and challenges in the relationshipThese problems can affect the couple's quality of life, so if they are not managed properly, divorce will be the solution.
  • Lack of communication and problem solvingOver time, some couples may develop unhealthy communication patternswhich can even lead to disrespect. Lack of effective communication and inability to address problems can lead to rfeeling and frustration in the relationship, which can eventually lead to divorce.

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Strategies to deal with divorce after many years of living together

Going to an online psychologist specialized in couples therapy will help you avoid a gray divorce, thanks to the strategies that he or she will give you.

  • Open and honest communicationCommunication is key in any relationship. Establish a space safe and open where both members can express your needs, desires and concerns. Actively listen to your partner and avoid assumptions or misinterpretations. Open and honest communication fosters mutual understanding and helps resolve conflicts constructively.
  • Cultivate emotional connectionAs the years go by, the emotional connection in a relationship can weaken. It is essential to dedicate time and effort to cultivate and strengthen this connection. Do activities together that you enjoy, such as walking, traveling or learn something new. Express your affection and show appreciation towards your partner on a regular basis. Keep the romance alive and emotional intimacy over the years.
  • Acceptance and adaptation to changeAs we age, it is important to accept and adapt to the changes that arise in our lives and in our relationship as a couple. recognize that aging brings with it physical changes, emotional and even social. Accept them as a natural part of life and work with your partner and yourself to adapt to them.
  • Maintain a separate economyand in the case where you have a joint economy, handle economic decisions together, always have good communication about finances and be transparent.
  • Seek professional support. At the moment when you experience tensions within the relationship, seek the help of a psychologist and of the online couples therapy to help you address any problems that may arise, as well as develop strategies for good communication and conflict resolution.
  • Cultivate individual and shared interests. Although it is It is important to do things togetherso is doing it individually. Thus, each of you will have a space to disconnect. This will achieve a balance between individuality and couple connection.
  • Practicing forgiveness and compassionIn long-term relationships, it is inevitable that some conflicts will arise, therefore, will be essential Practice forgiveness and compassion to maintain a strong relationship.

In conclusion, avoiding a gray divorce, or any divorce, implies a conscious commitment to work on the relationship and face the challenges that may arise. Therefore, it is important to introduce online couples therapy as a routine, to build a solid foundation in the relationship to be able to affirm that yes, love lasts forever.

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