Laugh at yourself, key to fighting 'mirror syndrome' – Online Psychologists

Do we all care about our physical appearance? The impact of our image affects us all, yes, although to a greater or lesser degree depending on the individual. This is the thesis of what is known as the «mirror syndrome». Debate Editorial just published Mirror Syndrome: How to Reconcile with Your Own Imagethe new work of Psychiatrist and doctor Jesus J. De la Gándara where he describes the influence that the perception of his own image exerts on the individual, a generally pejorative vision for oneself. According to De la Gándara, mirror syndrome It encompasses «a set of human behaviors that have to do with the relationship of the being with its image,» a game where the mirror plays a major role as «it is the mediator of this relationship.»

We pay for our discomfort with our body. The expert points out that the relationship we establish with our image is often unhealthy and involves «many problems, difficulties, sufferings and concerns of human beings.» Thus, and logically, the doctor points out that the mirror syndrome becomes «the common denominator of many diseases, such as anorexia or vigorexia» while personal difficulties are aggravated when an individual immersed in emotional instability observes his image through the mirror. Adolescents and young people are the social group most prone to fall into the mirror syndrome since they are in a moment of great emotional complexity in their lives in which doubts and uncertainties are the order of the day. This also explains why this niche has a greater tendency to suffer from eating disorders.

However, the development of an unhealthy eating pattern is not only a consequence of the negative perception of one's own image. Psychiatrist De la Gándara clarifies that eating disorders are a «very complex disease that has many factors» although they all end up leading to physical problems, since «they focus on the suffering that people have because they see themselves as bad, they see themselves as fat.» Control of the physical, specifically weight and food, is the escape route from existing pain due to other causesThis control generates numerous symptoms and sufferings that prevent the individual from real discomfort that threatens him, such as loss or grief.

«It is a very illustrative model of modern illness, since it focuses on the relationship between the human being and his image,» says the doctor. The author of the work assures that the best remedy against mirror syndrome is «to learn to be wise in front of the mirror and use this wisdom to see and judge appropriately what is seen.» We should not be cruel to ourselves, but the judgment we exercise should be «with kindness and selfish intelligence,» which requires «not trying to imitate others or the aspirations that others have of us.»

The keys against the mirror syndrome They are none other than those advocated by many popular sayings and quotes: knowing how to laugh at oneself and judge oneself with wisdom, selfish intelligence and moderation.

It is essential to learn to laugh at ourselves and be our best accomplices. De la Gándara is clear about this. Despite this, the relationship with our image is turbulent since «there is excess even in moderation,» says the expert. It is well known that excesses are not good. Neither white nor black. Therefore, we must observe ourselves but consciously, avoiding excess, finding our limit, in order to be «a little happier.»

We know that sinning in excess harms us, but once we have fallen into the nets of mirror syndrome What to do? The psychiatrist explains that the reasons that lead us to suffer from the syndrome «have a lot to do with the learning that each one does about himself from his earliest childhood.» «Throughout life, a person puts an image of himself in his brain, and the image he sees in the mirror does not always coincide with the one he has,» he points out as the origin. Who does not continue to have the same mental image of himself even if he gains weight, loses weight or makes some radical change?

Another reason that leads to the syndrome is comparison, more specifically, destructive comparison. We integrate ideals of perfection into ourselves, whether they are the product of socially established canons or patterns that we have associated according to our history. This model takes root in our thinking as the symbol of the longed-for perfection that we will desperately search for around us, and when, once we find it, we will use it to punish ourselves. We compare ourselves with those ideals that human beings “would like to resemble.” In this sense, the doctor explains that this discrepancy between what one is and one’s ideals “is what makes one suffer a lot and, sometimes, makes one sick.”

The physical, as has been pointed out, is a reflection of our inner state and «is nothing more than a means of expressing the psychic.» Emotional instability, depression or personal failure are transmitted through dislike of the physical – we groom ourselves less, we take less care of ourselves, we forget about our «machine» – but the real problem is, as De la Gándara points out, that «they dislike their 'I'.»

Worry and anxiety lead us to eat more. Nerves or sadness close our stomach. When we wake up on the right foot we see ourselves beautiful but when we wake up on the wrong foot we can't find any piece of clothing that suits us. Normal behaviours that, when extrapolated, when internal discomfort (that anxiety, that sadness, those nerves) can overwhelm the integrity of the person, the mirror syndrome acts and leads to eating disorders and, for example, surgical operations, something that De la Gándara believes also affects people who «deep down what they have is a problem with themselves, with their psychic 'I'».

Let's laugh at ourselves. Let's take life with more humor. Of course, if we don't have enough strength to move forward, if we have let ourselves be dragged by the mirror syndrome, it is because there is a greater evil that corrodes us. In that case, De la Gándara also recommends that the most sensible thing is to go to the psychologist.