Closed for vacation. How to mentally disconnect and rest – Online Psychologists

Summer is here and it seems like everything is closed for the holidays. In other words, it is an excellent month for those who love strolling along the almost deserted avenues of the big city, but a bad month if you have the bad habit of eating without leaving home or if you have to undergo surgery.

When I started with my psychology officehad the habit of being open all year round – August included. In my same building there is a doctor's office – who closed in this month – and I remember how I refused to believe his words. “But, seriously, are you going to open? Well, this is just the beginning, then you will see that patients also have the right to take vacations.” And, although I refused at the time, I now recognize that he was right. Because there has to be room for rest, even if you work as a online psychologist.

It is usual that after the summer the number of breakups increases either through separation or divorce, up to a third of the total that occur annually. So, we can ask ourselves what is the reason for this increase and we would find it in that during this time, but especially during the holidays, The expectations placed on our partner are too demandingsince – during the rest of the year – communication is usually deficient since we do not even have time to ask ourselves if the relationship is working. It is during the holidays when all these latent conflicts explode and can end up in divorce on the way back.

Therefore, respect and respect are very important. empathyto debate about things that we do not agree on but without getting into an argument, which will help to reach pacts and agreements in which both parties must give in.

Let's think that many of the discussions that start in a couple in summer are about rather trivial issues such as, for example, not agreeing on the destination, the budget or other issues of a certain importance: «So your mother, yes, and mine, no?! Well, you know what I'm telling you, I'm not going either.”. And it ends with no one going or, in the best of cases, with both mothers going. But don’t impose if you don’t want to be imposed upon.

No problem, you probably had little time to really share it during the school year and during your busy work days. Now is your chance!

It is highly recommended that both you, as parents, and your children can sharing activities during this leisure time. But, even so, some planning is always advisable; it's not about making a schedule for every day and going with a stopwatch, no, you already do that the rest of the year, but about looking for common activities that everyone agrees on. And, yes, I know what you're saying; impossible! But let's see; we said before that this is the ideal time to learn to communicate and, therefore, to live together, right? And, we also said that it's important to reach agreements or pacts, right? Well, with your children it's the same, you just have to keep in mind some indisputable rules.

If you have already started the holidays, remember that your children will value the moments you spend together more than an endless succession of activities that leave them exhausted. Many studies show that children who do not receive enough attention from their parents or other reference figures show a greater tendency to aggression, loneliness, boredom, low self-esteem and insecurity, which affects both their academic performance and themselves. Therefore, we can see that the holidays are a crucial time not only to receive affection but for parents, as primary socializers, to set aside time for their children to show them how to express and understand the emotions of others.

In any case, if we are not planning to go far away, but to stay at home, it is very important that parents – as a couple – reserve some time to be together and alone. If possible, it would be ideal to leave the children with the grandparents since both would enjoy the meeting, but it should not happen suddenly, but everyone – children, grandparents – should be informed of the day decided for that dinner or that lunch or that outing.

However, the best thing parents can do, especially with young children, is to enjoy them, because time flies and soon they will no longer be those children who want to be with their parents and have fun together. And, for parents, taking care of their children during the summer vacation period is the same as taking care of themselves but without stress and with the ability to have fun, which ends up bringing them together even more.

One of the first decisions is whether to take all the holidays at once or spread them out. Obviously, there are no rules applicable to all people, as it depends largely on the type of work, but also on the number of hours worked per week, which entails professional needs and commitments that are different in each case. And, although theory would say that it would be “ideal” to spend some days of vacation with your partner, others with your partner and the children, and others alone, as with almost everything, theory and practice have little to do with each other. Therefore, the “ideal” in practice is to spend the holidays together, and if possible, thanks to the invaluable work of grandparents, to take a few hours on a “desert island” with your partner, or even both of you separately, to do those things that the other can’t stand; you know, the girls go shopping for their own clothes or the kids’ clothes for the next season, and the boys go running around a bit.

One of the common mistakes we make on vacation is to enjoy the maximum number of hours of sunshine per day but go to bed in the early hours of the morning, which means that after a few days we end up feeling very tired. The best thing to do is to get up at the same time, take a nap to regain energy and go to sleep at a time similar to your usual one. However, make sure that the activities you choose for your vacation have little to do with your usual routine; this is what we call “recharging your batteries.”

You may have exercised a lot during the “bikini operation” but remember that the body is somewhat “ungrateful” and that, during your month of vacation, it can regain 70-90% of the weight lost. If you want to avoid this, you should do 20-30 minutes a day, at a more relaxed pace, of cardiovascular exercise, such as swimming, running or cycling. However, avoid the central hours of the day and, above all, do not stop hydrating.

Drink between one and a half and two litres a day, even if you are not thirsty, especially children, grandparents and pregnant women. If you find that you cannot handle any more liquid, remember that there are fruits such as melons and watermelons and foods such as gazpacho that are another good way to stay hydrated.

Avoid hot or spoon-fed dishes, as they are high in calories, and opt for fresher foods such as salads or gazpachos, which are lower in calories. If you like to snack between meals, it is better to eat fruit or vegetables, as they are high in nutrients and low in calories. Ice cream should be consumed in moderation, that is, do not give children ice cream every day and, in addition, make sure that it is varied.

In general, when we are preparing for our holidays – with great excitement – ​​we all create a preconceived image of an “ideal, perfect” holiday, but, let’s be realistic, the reality is that we always set expectations that are too high, and that perfection does not exist. The sum of these two factors makes any inconvenience more magnified than it should be. And we must be, once again, realistic; from a “perfect” holiday to a “horrible” holiday there is a whole continuum in which we surely find ourselves. So let’s leave the demands, perfection and…ah! The polarized thinking at home and let’s start enjoying our holidays, in a good mood and with the people we love.

It is becoming increasingly easy to find a secure internet connection wherever you go on holiday. However, that doesn't mean you have to keep everyone – friends and acquaintances – informed of your latest news, because they can take up your rest, almost without you realising it, and because they can put other «friends» on alert that you are not at home and that, when you return, you will have an unpleasant surprise.

Let's see, on the first point; taking care of your social media profiles does not mean you can neglect yourself, but above all, your family.

To avoid the second part, the advice given by the National Institute of Cybersecurity is: never share on your social media profiles where or when you are going on holiday. Also, avoid connecting to Wi-Fi networks – whether public or private – when using so-called “critical services”, i.e. email accounts and banking services; instead, it is preferable to carry out these procedures through mobile data connections to prevent outsiders from stealing passwords and, therefore, having access to confidential data.

There are some…