Surely you have ever been frustrated because something has not gone as you wanted. It is essential that you know how to manage the defeatsbecause failing is not failing. It is up to you to learn how to deal with that frustration.
Not everyone is able to avoid defeats. You, neither. Surely, in the day to day, you simply do not achieve those small goals. purposes that you are considering.
What does it mean to lose?
- To get angry
- Having an exaggerated frustration
- Follow the motto «anything goes to win»
- Giving up values like humility and honesty
- Blaming you for your mistakes
- Not forgiving your mistakes
- Not taking risks because you are afraid of failure
- Being afraid to make decisions
- Not accepting that other people may be better than you or have been luckier
- Feeling humiliated, ashamed of the defeat
3 Lies About Failure Worth Internalizing
Victory would not exist without defeat. Losing is not a negative thing, even if you think it is. In fact, there are many positive aspects to defeat.
- You are not a loser for losing. What you must be clear about is that the result does not define you, but the measure of success does. face situations. Your attitude can make you a loser if you do not focus on the result, without valuing your effort and the commitment you have put into it.
- Since you have failed, you think that you will no longer achieve your goal.. Learning to lose will make you aware that many times you have to fail several times to ultimately succeed.
- You shouldn't be ashamed of losingThe only humiliating thing is give up. Giving up is losing.
10 tips to learn how to lose without feeling bad about it
These are some keys to knowing how to lose in all areas, whether family, work, sports, etc.
- Forget about frustration. It is normal to experience this feeling when you do not meet your expectations or when you do not achieve your goals, but it is important that you manage this feeling. Frustration will only awaken in you feelings of sadness, anger, rage, tiredness, apathy, stress, anxiety…
- Losing doesn't mean ignoring defeatbut rather use the time to see what has gone wrong and correct it. Establish some steps to follow and plan with a schedule or a calendar.
- Reflect. Why did you lose? Maybe you made a mistake or you weren't going in the right direction. Stopping to think about the cause will help you learn and take a better path.
- Accept defeat. You have to see things as they are. Don't make excuses for reality. Try not to let your mind manipulate those memories in an attempt to «protect» yourself from frustration. Losing is unpleasant, but the sooner you deal with that feeling, the sooner you'll start looking for victory again. Accept defeat, learn from it, and get up.
- Avoid hostile reactions that will arise almost unconsciously when you feel that frustration, because they will only make the situation worse.
- Recognize your emotions. This way, you can find the positive side of any situation.
- Focus on the process. Victory or defeat are not as important as the effort and desire you put into the process. Planning is essential so that, when you lose, you realize how much you enjoyed the process. There is no need to glorify victory. The fact of competing is already rewarding. Focus on the process without that anxiety to win.
- Get away from the role of favorite. Even though you have a better chance of winning, being the favourite doesn't do you any favours. Instead, it makes you complacent. Seeing yourself as the best will only make you underestimate others and overvalue your abilities. So when you lose, it will be difficult for you to recover emotionally.
- Correct tunnel thinking. It is one that is based on the obsession with winning. It is the only way, the only option. There are no other possibilities. You will not always be able to come out victorious, so tunnel thinking can be very harmful.
- Please note that no path is easy. You will always find potholes, stones… (that is, obstacles) that will slow you down, try to stop you or make you go backwards.
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Learning to lose has to be taught from the beginning. childhooda stage in which the youngest children begin to express how they deal with defeat. The low tolerance for losing plunges them into frustration because it is intolerable for them. Losing does not only happen in games, it extends much further. Children have to realize that in their life there will be victories, but also defeats. Thus, they will not deny or reject reality.
Losing is not failure. Defeat gives you a clue about the aspects that need to be improved. Once you change the wrong image of defeat, you will sooner discover the best version of yourself.
With the help of a psychologistyou will learn to manage defeats and you will learn that losing is essential for you to value the rest of your achievements. To win, you have to know how to lose.
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