Jealous, me? Well yes. All human beings feel envy, whether we like it or not.. After all, envy is part of our complex emotional system, along with joy, surprise or love. Numerous experts have repeatedly theorized about the subject, but it seems that, within public opinion, The concept of envy is not well acceptedWhy do we deny something that is innate and natural in our essence?
What is envy and what causes it?
Envy is defined as a toxic emotion that arises when a person perceives an inequality between what he or she has and what another person has. This comparison leads to a feeling of unease and a desire to have what the other has or destroy it in the process.
The causes of envy can vary depending on the situation and the personalities involved. In many cases, envy originates from low self-esteem or insecurity. When someone feels inadequate or dissatisfied with themselves, they may experience envy towards those who seem to have it all or who have achieved outstanding success in different areas of life.
In addition, cultural and social factors can also influence the emergence of envy. In highly competitive societies where material success is valued above all else, people may feel greater pressure to meet certain standards and, at the same time, may experience envy towards those who exceed them.
Symptoms
Identifying envy in yourself or others can be tricky, as it is often hidden behind other emotions or disguised as more subtle behaviors. Some common symptoms of envy include:
- Resentment and bitterness. Envious people may experience a deep sense of resentment toward those they consider more successful or fortunate than themselves.
- Constant comparisonsThose who feel envious tend to continually compare themselves with others, which increases their feeling of dissatisfaction.
- Difficulty celebrating other people's successEnvious people find it difficult to rejoice in the achievements or well-being of others, as this reminds them of their own shortcomings.
- Rumors and criticismsEnvy can lead to defamation and the spreading of malicious rumors about the envied person.
- Excessive competitiveness. Envy can lead to unhealthy competition, where the envious person tries to outdo the other individual instead of focusing on their own growth.
Why do we feel envy?
Envy is born from a personal lackThe individual who feels envy also feels intoxicated by a feeling of inferiority with respect to others, so he competes to “get” what he believes he lacks compared to others. In addition, envy causes the individual to only think about obtaining what others have. In this sense, envy moves the individual to feel sadness and discomfort in the face of the good or prosperity of others, leading to depression, masochistic behavior or psychological disorders.
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Who is more likely to feel envy?
Envy can affect any individual, regardless of gender, age or social status. However, some personality traits can increase the propensity to experience envy.
- Low self-esteemPeople with low self-esteem are often more susceptible to envy, as they tend to compare themselves negatively with others and feel less valuable.
- PerfectionistsThose who have extremely high expectations of themselves may experience jealousy toward those who have achieved what they consider perfection in a certain area.
- Emotional insecurityEmotionally insecure people may feel envious when they perceive that others have greater stability and well-being in their lives.
- Unmeasured ambitionWhile ambition is a valuable trait, when it becomes unbridled it can lead to fluff when observing the success of others.
Prejudices
Envy can have detrimental effects on both the person experiencing it and their relationships and emotional well-being. Some of these harms include:
- Emotional discomfort. Envy can generate an intense and constant emotional burden, which negatively affects a person's quality of life and overall happiness.
- Deterioration of relationsEnvy can undermine interpersonal relationships, especially if it manifests itself through criticism, negative comments, or hostile behavior.
- Self-isolationThe envious person may isolate himself socially to avoid confronting his feelings or to avoid comparisons with others.
- Personal stagnation. Instead of focusing on one's own growth and development, envy can lead a person to feel paralyzed and frustrated by the success of others.
- Deterioration of mental health. Prolonged envy can have a negative impact on mental health, increasing the risk of anxiety, depression and other emotional disorders.
As?
When we feel envy we end up idealizing the object of our envy, that which we believe we lack. This lack can be both material objects and personal aspects that we see in someone with whom we compare ourselves destructively, leading to the belief that we need this quality to be socially accepted. The exhaustive need to want to obtain that lack ends up causing frustration: Whether we achieve our goal or not, it will never be enough and the individual we envy will always be better.
Fighting envy
Fighting envy is a personal challenge that requires self-knowledge, self-reflection, and ongoing effort. If you find yourself dealing with feelings of envy toward other people, here are some strategies that might help you address and overcome this negative feeling:
- Practice gratitude. Cultivating an attitude of gratitude can be an effective way to counteract jealousy. Instead of focusing on what you don't have or what others have that you don't, focus on recognizing and being grateful for what you already have in your life. Appreciate your accomplishments, your qualities, and the positive things around you.
- Develop self-acceptanceAccepting yourself with all your virtues and flaws can reduce the tendency to compare yourself to others. Remember that each person has their own path and unique circumstances. Learn to value yourself for who you are and work on your personal growth without constantly comparing yourself to others.
- Avoid constant comparisons. This feeds on constant comparisons. Try to be aware of when you are comparing yourself to others and stop those thoughts. Focus on your personal goals and objectives instead of measuring your worth based on other people's achievements.
- Learn to celebrate other people's successChanging your perspective towards other people's success can make all the difference. Instead of feeling «jealous,» learn to celebrate and rejoice in other people's achievements. Not only will this improve your interpersonal relationships, but it will also allow you to experience more positive emotions.
- Surround yourself with positive people. Keep company with people who support, encourage, and inspire you in positive ways. A healthy social circle can help decrease negative feelings and boost self-esteem.
- Learn from othersInstead of seeing others as competition, see them as learning opportunities. Observe how they have achieved their successes and seek inspiration from their achievements. If possible, interact with them and seek advice or knowledge that can help you in your own goals.
- Focus on your personal growth. Focus your energy on developing your skills, interests and talents. Set realistic goals and work towards them, assessing your own progress without comparing it to others.
- Practice empathy. Try to understand other people's situations and struggles before judging them or envying their achievements. Empathy can help you see beyond the surface and develop greater understanding and tolerance for others.
- Limit time on social media. Social media can foster unhealthy comparisons and envy. If you feel like social media is negatively impacting your emotional well-being, consider reducing the time you spend on it or being more selective about the accounts you follow.
- Seek professional help if necessaryIf you feel that feelings of envy are significantly affecting your emotional well-being and relationships, do not hesitate to seek the help of a psychologist or therapist. Professional support can be valuable in exploring these feelings in depth and finding more specific strategies to overcome them.
Dealing with envy requires introspection, self-acceptance, and a focus on personal growth. Working on building self-esteem and celebrating your own and others' achievements and successes can help you break free from the destructive power of this dark feeling, thus allowing you to live a fuller, more satisfying life.
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