Make sure that benching doesn't affect you – Online Psychologists

Have you ever felt like someone you'd been keeping in touch with suddenly disappears without explanation? Or maybe someone you'd been talking to constantly suddenly stops doing so, but occasionally pops back into your life? This practice is known as benching and is a toxic way of relating based on manipulation and pretending emotional ties where there are none. Benching is common in the context of romantic relationships, but it can also occur in friendships and professional relationships.

This is a toxic way of relating based on the manipulation of one subject over anotherBenching refers to the practice in which a person maintains a relationship with another, sporadically and without depth, with the sole objective of being able to maintain their interest in the person themselves, but without intending to achieve friendship or anything beyond being able to benefit from it.

One person uses another as if they were an accessory. The person who practices it does not value the other, and their contact is maintained over time with the sole objective of not being forgotten. Instead of a complete disappearance as in ghosting or slow fading, in benching there is insufficient contact maintained to maintain a level of hope in the relationship.

New technologies have had a huge impact on benchingas they have changed the way people relate to each other. The ease with which people can connect and communicate through digital devices and platforms has made it easier for people who engage in this practice to maintain this type of relationship with a wider group.

For example, the use of online dating apps like Tinder has allowed people to connect with a large number of potential partners, making it easier for them to keep multiple people as backup options. Additionally, Social media has allowed people to maintain a constant presence in the lives of those they may be close to, making it difficult to cut off contact. and has made it easier for people to keep several as options.

New technologies have changed the dynamics of relationships and have allowed those who bench to keep several options on hold, making commitment and exclusivity in relationships difficult. It is important to keep in mind that These actions can be emotionally damaging to the people involved.

For the person who suffers from this toxic way of relating to another individual, it can be very difficult to overcome it. The first thing an individual must do is become aware of whether you are being benchedThis may seem simple, but it can often be difficult to realize. If we see that the other person is not showing interest in our things, if the communication time is extended or we have confusion about our relationship, it is possible that you are suffering from it.

As a consequence of experiencing this type of relationships We may suffer from self-esteem problems and feel a strange sense of being used.. In addition, a problem may arise when it comes to relating, generating a dependency or a high level of suffering that can mark future relationships. To prevent this type of relationship from marking our life and our way of facing the world,Working with a professional psychologist can be very helpful.

At we have been experts in online therapy since 2012. Throughout our career We have helped more than 1,600 patients overcome various emotional problems. If you are interested in seeking the help of an online psychologist, you can request a free first session by clicking on the button below.

Benching generally occurs in romantic or couple relationships. Although the influence of social networks such as Instagram, Tinder or WhatsApp have transformed the way we communicate and have allowed this type of relationship to occur more frequently, we must know that This toxic way of relating is not new. Just like ghosting has always existed.

Friendships, or potential friendships, can also be affected by this way of relating, making the person who suffers from it the perfect wild card for others to make certain plans or use their company only for certain moments.

Detecting that we are being targeted by this type of relationship can sometimes be difficult. Justifying the other person, or not wanting to recognize that we are suffering from a toxic relationship, can be some of the factors that prevent us from seeing it. Even so, there are certain signs that we can observe and can help us detect it:

If you observe these traits, it is very likely that the other person is not committed to you.

If after identifying that you are being benched you do not know how to deal with it, we leave you with some action mechanisms that can help you.

Many authors determine that the proliferation of this type of harmful relationships makes sense in the social context in which we live, in which Egocentrism and individualism have taken over from empathy. The importance of The superficial has also been transferred to human relationsFor some people, the rest are seen as mere objects that can be used to satisfy their needs at specific times.

Those who have this view of others generally exhibit elevated patterns of narcissism and His only interest is to be the center of attention. People who bench do it not only with those they have been able to build relationships with, but it is a regular part of their lives. Their goal is to feel desired.

Benching is a very toxic way of relating to others. For the person who suffers from it, it can significantly damage their self-esteem and affect their future relationships. It is important to recognize the signs to identify if we are being victims of a person who only seeks to be the center of attention and does not care about us. If we believe that we are suffering from benching, we must take control of the relationship to prevent it from harming us mentally.and accompany us in the process of online therapy that helps us gain awareness and the necessary strength.