What is body shaming and how to combat it? – Online Psychologists

In recent years the expression has become popular «body shaming» to refer to a practice that consists of humiliating someone for their physical appearance. But the truth is that the body shaming It is not a new practice: we live in a society founded on the cult of a perfect, unreal and unattainable image that lurks in every advertisement, in every shop window and in every corner you can look at.

He body shaming It hides everywhere: It's in the fashion magazines that are posted «stolen» from celebrities who have the indecency to go through real life without an Instagram filter to cover up their flaws; it's in every corporation that sells miracle products that assure you that you'll get the perfect body if you drink their shakes; it's also in those family dinners where someone reminds you that you've gained weight, or tells you, in the form of a poisoned gift, that «you look much prettier this thin.»

Does this sound familiar to you? I'm sure it does, because the body shaming It can affect anyone: women and men, tall and short people, bald people and those who do not shave… But the truth is that he body shaming It especially affects women and is more cruel to those who are fat.

And why does this happen? Because, as a consequence of a deeply heteropatriarchal society, For centuries, women have been reduced to being a simple body available for male consumption.. Thus, from a young age, women see themselves reflected in a world that presents them as objects of consumption, as little more than mannequins to be decorated to taste, according to the fashion of the moment.

There are many who have profited from exercising aesthetic violence against women: a few years ago, Dove caused controversy with a controversial advertisement in which, after using its shower gel, a black girl became white. And although this is happening less and less, it is not so unusual to find advertisements for cars, perfumes and even food where The woman's body, with little clothing, is offered as a lure to attract attention.. Even an advertising campaign by PETA, the non-profit organization that fights for animal rights, was accused of fatphobia for a campaign that read: «Save the whales. Lose your whale blubber: go vegetarian», accompanying the slogan was a caricature of a fat woman.

The famous ones stand up to the body shaming

Not even the celebrities are freed: in 2015, Inma Cuesta She spoke out against photo retouching on Instagram after appearing in a photo with slimmer arms and waist, smoother skin and longer hair. In her Instagram post, which quickly went viral, she wrote: «Seeing yourself and not recognizing yourself, discovering that your image is in the hands of people who have a absolutely unreal sense of beauty […] I don't understand the need to retouch my body until I'm almost half of what I am, to smooth out my skin and lengthen my neck until I become almost an expressionless doll.

Luckily, celebrities have a platform wide enough to report harassment who suffer because of their physical appearance and every day more decide to speak out. Billie Eilishthe singer who debuted at just 17 years old and has just turned 19, said in an advertisement for Calvin Klein: «I don't want everyone to know everything about me, that's why I wear baggy clothes. Nobody can have an opinionbecause nobody knows what's underneath.»

But everyone has an opinion about women's bodies. Billie Eilish discovered this after she was photographed in tight clothing on the street, when The networks were filled with comments about her weightIn a short YouTube clip, Billie talked about the body shaming: «Some hate what I wear, some praise it. Some use it to mess with others, some use it to mess with me.» […] Would you like me to be smaller? Weaker? Softer? Taller? Would you like me to be quiet? Do my shoulders turn you on? My chest? Am I my stomach? My hips? Is the body I was born with not what you wanted?«

The video, called «Not my responsibility»has achieved more than 30 million views in less than a year and has become a argument against the body shaming. The harsh criticism of those who judged her ended like this: «If I carry more, if I carry less… Who decides what that makes me? What does it mean? Is my value based on your perception? Or just your opinion? It's not my responsibility«.

Even those with the most normative bodies receive criticism for their body shape. The model Sara Sampaiowho became a Victoria's Secret Angel in 2015, has been the latest to face the wave of body shaming flooding the networks. After uploading a photo in underwear that was harshly criticized, the Portuguese posted a video showing how her body changes according to her posture and She asked her followers to be kind and stop commenting on other people's bodies.

Against the body shaming: body positive and body neutrality

For rebel against aesthetic impositions imposed by society, the Internet popularized the movement body positive, which defends the inclusion of all bodies and a positive mindset. By putting the spotlight on all those bodies that, due to their supposed defects, do not appear in magazines, the body positive aims to normalize the body diversity.

He body positive She has managed to make her way, very discreetly, among the catwalks of some of the most famous fashion brands. The Sevillian Lorena Durán, with a size 44, recently became one of the first models curvy from Victoria's Secret. So far in 2021, we have also Zara and Bershka have timidly joined the movement body positive including models curvy in their catalogues.

However, also Dissenting voices emerge against the body positiveand they are not just those who defend classic beauty standards. The movement body neutrality was born to change the discourse of «positive bodies»which some considered dangerous because of the way its defenders expressed it.

He body neutrality leaves aside a positivity that is not always easy to achieve and embraces acceptance, plain and simple. That is, instead of looking for happiness in the body, it advocates acceptance of one's own limitations and argues that body image should not be the center of our lives. For those who defend the body neutralitythe message of the body positive It is misguided, because instead of fighting to ensure that the body does not determine social value, it fights to ensure that a wider spectrum of bodies is accepted, without attacking the root problem, which is the unhealthy cult of image that underlies every corner of society.

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Tips to avoid falling into the body shaming

Have you ever criticized someone for their body shape? For their weight? For their physical appearance or the way they dress? Have you ever looked in the mirror and seen nothing but flaws? If the answer is yes, don't despair. It's logical that you'll have a hard time accepting what's not normative if for years you've lived surrounded by stereotypical bodies that have put the canon of beauty in your head. But just because it's normal doesn't mean you have to settle for it.

First of all, you must remember that Your body is constantly changing: Depending on your posture, the time of day or the moment in your life, you will have one or other characteristics. You should also be aware that You can't change every aspect of your physique.. Even if you do achieve this, it is likely that these changes will not be permanent and there are factors, such as hormonal imbalances, stress or changes in routine, that can reverse them. The good news is that Neither your value nor that of others will ever depend on physical appearancesince people are made up of a multitude of small characteristics and kilos, wrinkles or pimples are nothing more than a drop in the immense ocean of your person.

Remember that caging yourself or others into the narrow space left by beauty standards can lead to eating disorders such as anorexia, bulimia or orthorexia. To combat body shaming, you can put the following tips into practice:

  • Remember that the perfect body does not exist: imposing the unrealistic canon of magazines that use Photoshop on yourself or imposing it on others will only generate frustration.
  • Take care of yourself: Following a good diet and exercise routine will bring you mental and physical well-being. Don't obsess over it, because the goal is not perfection, but rather feeling good in your daily life.
  • Remember that everyone has flaws and virtues: There may be aspects of your physical appearance or that of others that you do not like, but you must keep in mind that a person's value is not measured based on their beauty. If you have the impulse to make a comment about someone's physical appearance, you can apply the five second rule: Can what you are about to point out be fixed in five seconds? If the answer is yes, go ahead, if not, you'd better not say it, because you'll only deepen the complexes of the rest.
  • Put a stop to negative comments: The first step to stop body shaming is to realize that no one deserves it, not even you. It doesn't matter if you don't like the feature someone has pointed out to you either, don't let anyone make hurtful comments about your physique and perhaps you can prevent them from doing the same to others.
  • Keep in mind that you are not only your physical self: It's normal to have things about yourself that you don't like, and it's normal to want to change them. You can try to change most of your features, from your weight to your character, but don't despair if, after all your effort, you don't succeed. Your value doesn't depend on any single characteristic.

If you have problems with your physical appearance and they are starting to affect you mentally, In we have a team of psychologists that can help you through online sessions, without a fixed fee and whenever and wherever you want.

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