When you are in a bad relationship and you don't know whether to leave him or not, you can set a time for yourself. That is to say, propose a temporary separation. A time of reflection to know what decision to make.
A temporary separation It must be by mutual agreement. Well, if one of the couple is clear that he or she no longer wants to continue, that time will be of no use. In that period of time, usually, They both live separatelybut maintaining the bond that unites them.
It will be the couple themselves who decide whether time will have a limit or notThat is, if the separation is going to last days, months or will be seen as it happens. Once this is clear, we have to see how to explain the temporary separation to the children.
Why take a break and not leave it for good?
Maybe you are going through a bad situation with your partner and you believe that has come to an end. However, It is not always like thisYou may be facing a difficult time but Maybe leaving it permanently is not the solution.
When you see that everything is going wrong and you both agree to leave it forever, you should do it. However, There are times when it is better to take some time to reflect.:
- When you see that jealousy, distrust or resentment are flooding your relationshipIf this happens, it is better to pause and think about where all this is coming from. You probably need to think about whether it is worth holding on like this or whether you will be able to overcome this obstacle.
- If you have suffered a great disappointment from your partnerThese disappointments are usually caused by infidelity or lies. Here you have to take your time to know if you want to forgive the person and move on.
- If you feel like you are no longer yourself with your partnerthat you are no longer as you were before. You need some time to find yourself again and find out if you are better off alone or if it has just been a bad patch.
Making the decision to take some time It may be shocking for your partner. It can provoke emotions such as anger, pain, confusion or frustration. Therefore, when you think about proposing time to your partner Don't do it hastilyYou must have thought about it very carefully.
What to do once you have made the decision to take some time off?
- You have to be aware of who is affected by your decision and to what extentThat is, if you have children, how are you going to explain to them that you are going to take some time off? Make it clear how you are going to divide up their care or establish a visitation schedule similar to that of people who are getting divorced. Always ensure the well-being of your children.
- Decide for How long are you going to be apart and whether you are going to maintain a bond or not?That is, whether the period will be limited or not, whether you will continue talking or not, and the type of contact you will maintain, if any.
- Be transparent and honest with yourselfWhoever has decided to leave must express their feelings, their needs and everything that worries them. You must consider what they need without trying to please your partner.
- Agree on what you want to happen during that limbo period.. That is, if the opportunity arises, whether you can date other people or not. Whether you can meet other people or whether you are just going to spend your time thinking.
Once we have reached the agreement, the time has come to take that time. Being separated temporarily does not mean being single or on vacation. This time is reflectionto find solutions to make the relationship work. Also to decide if we really are not going to get anywhere when that period ends.
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How to explain temporary separation to our children?
- We must communicate it to him always in accordance with their language and understanding. That is, depending on the age of the child we will explain it to them in one way or another. In all cases it must be done as clearly as possible. We must make them see, mainly, that Their parents do not separate permanently to prevent them from anticipating sadness.
- It must be made clear that The decision we make is not their fault. It has nothing to do with them. This way we can reassure them that they are not responsible for the separation.
- We have to do everything possible to not change their routines.. That is, try to keep their daily routine the same. Let their activities not be affected. However, they must be aware that they are going to face a new situation. There are habits and routines at home that are going to change and it is best to make this clear from the beginning.
- If you have any doubts We must let them express themselvesask questions and express their concerns. This way you can explain things to them with the best possible communication. Children need to understand what is happening and why.
- Transmit security and confidence to them. For our children, a period of uncertainty begins. Making it clear to them what will happen from now on is an act that will ensure positivity. This will help you in your emotional development.
- You must open up to them. We often believe that showing ourselves to be strong in front of our children makes them strong. This is not the case; we are not helping them. Show your emotions Help your children to show them too and not create a shell. Of course, always without playing the victim so that your children do not misinterpret anything.
If you are in the process of temporary separation and you think you are not able to do it Don't hesitate to ask for helpIt is not easy to get everything right the first time or to achieve the well-being of your children immediately. That is what the psychological therapy.
That's what we're here for, Psychia We offer you the opportunity to solve your problems or insecurities through our online psychologists. Do not hesitate to get in touch with us.