I-don't-get-along-with-my-mother-in-law-What-do-I-do? – Online Psychologists

Relationships between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can be complicated. Sometimes, they become a minefield of tensions and misunderstandings that can affect not only family dynamics, but also the emotional health of both parties involved. But what is the origin of these conflicts and what can I do if I have a bad relationship with my mother-in-law?

The mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationships They are not always as easy as we would like. They are a mixture of conflicting feelings that revolve around a single character, the son-husband.

According to a survey of more than 2,000 women by the Netmums portal, One in four daughters-in-law say they do not have a good relationship with their mother-in-lawAmong the reasons that are most repeated as the cause of this situation we find the interference in matters relating to the education of children and the constant criticism towards the relationship they have with their husbands.

The mother-in-law-daughter-in-law relationship can be complicated for a number of fundamental reasons:

In many cultures, the mother-in-law is expected to play an important role in the life of her son, and by extension, that of her daughter-in-law. These expectations can create additional pressures in the relationship, as both mother-in-law and daughter-in-law may feel obligated to conform to certain predetermined roles and behaviors. When these expectations are not met, tensions and conflicts can arise.

The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law often revolves around the shared son/husband. Both may feel in competition for this man's attention and affection, which can lead to resentment and hostility. This competition can escalate if the son/husband does not set clear boundaries between his mother and wife, which can lead to further conflict.

Both mother-in-law and daughter-in-law may have preconceived perceptions and stereotypes about each other based on cultural expectations, past experiences, or personal beliefs. These distorted perceptions can make it difficult to build a positive relationship and may fuel misunderstandings and prejudices.

Each person has their own personality, values, and lifestyle, which can clash with those of the other. Individual differences can lead to conflict and make effective communication between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law difficult. For example, if they have different approaches to child-rearing or household responsibilities, this can lead to disagreements and tensions.

Recognizing these underlying reasons can help both parties. to better understand the challenges they face and work together to build a more harmonious and satisfying relationship.

In most cases conflicts are triggered when One of the parties feels that its territory has been invaded. These fears are more common among mothers-in-law because they are part of the protective nature of mothers..

Most mothers tend to imagine what their future daughter-in-law will be like, when reality does not match the preconceived image they had of her, they often trigger negative feelings which almost involuntarily distort the image of the daughter-in-law, creating a great deal of conflict within the family.

Daughters-in-law, on the other hand, being aware of the maternal bond that unites their partner with their mother, fear not being able to achieve an equally close relationship with their husbands.

Remember that you were in the daughter-in-law's situation in the past or that you will be in the mother-in-law's situation in the future, when you have children. Try to remember how you liked to be treated then or imagine how you would like to be treated in the future.. Learn to put yourself in the other person's shoes.

Learn from your mother-in-law and discover new ways of seeing the world with your daughter-in-law. For the sake of the person you both love, the best thing you can do is maintain at least a formal relationship.

Each of you has a very different role in your relationship. Try to set boundaries by talking and letting each other help you through difficult times. Learning to differentiate between love for a child and love for a partner is very important in these situations.

No matter how tense things get, your relationship will be linked for life, so not losing your temper is essential. Try to solve your problems in a friendly way, if that is not possible, just maintain an attitude of mutual respect.

Each of you has been raised in a family and under different but not incompatible values. If you think you need extra help, remember that it is Psychia You will find a team of psychologists at your disposal and choose the modality you prefer, face-to-face therapy or receive help from a online psychologist.