When you live with your partner it is normal to do things that bother you. After all, each person has habits and routines that the other person may not like. These situations generate tension. That is why it is important to know how deal with it without your partner feeling attacked.
It is normal that there are occasional frictions. These small problems They do not have to be caused by large-scale details. Sometimes the little quirkssuch as forgetting an errand, being messy or a little lazy can cause discomfort to your partnerIt's the most natural thing in the world.
It is a minimally serious factbut you must know if you are able to live with that which drives you crazy.
Does it bother you or make it difficult for you to talk to your partner?
There are small customs that you can learn to live with.. Everyone has their quirks, they are part of our personality. We must learn to practice patience and toleranceWe can also reach agreements with our partner to change that.
The key to a good relationship is not only to talk, but to listen with empathy, understanding the words and emotions that are intertwined in the conversation.
John M. Gottman
On the other hand, There are other customs or habits that make coexistence impossible.That is, if your partner does not share the same values that you, culture, beliefs, ways of life… it is very difficult for coexistence to be satisfactory.
Before you go to live with your partner you should get to know him or her. The time that you take with your partner will be an essential factor to make a decision about moving in with him or her. The more you trust each other, the more you will know their good and bad habits and you will be able to know if living together is a good idea.
These disagreements between couples do not only happen when they live together, that is why, When your partner does things that bother youwhether you live together or not, you must take solutions.
Instead of staying silent or letting it go you should Talk to your partner in a healthy way. Without hurting him. You must do it. with empathy Well, you have to take into account how you would like it to be said to you. All this will depend on the type of relationship you have and each other's personality Since we are not all the same, however, we all need to feel loved.
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What is the best way to talk about what bothers you?
- Improve communication. One of the main parts of a relationship is communication and active listening. Must pay attention to each other, understand each other and reflectThat is, if we notice that our partner is uncomfortable and we don't know why, we should ask to find out what's wrong.
- It is also very important the nonverbal communication. Sometimes we don't realize that our partner is telling us that something is bothering him with just a look. We must pay attention to gestures, gaze or movements that indicate discomfort.
- To talk about the things that bother you in the best way, you have to find the right moment. An occasion when there is intimacy, without rushing and with time to express our concerns in the best possible way.
- Talk in person. We should avoid discussing these topics through WhatsApp, Instagram or similar chats. This can only lead to controversy. This way you are not seeing your partner's expressions or tone of voice. The only thing you can cause is senseless mistakes.
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With online therapy you will learn to communicate assertively with your partner and tell him or her what you would like.
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- Talk about what bothers you without making accusations. When your partner does things that bother you, you should ask yourself if he or she does it with bad intentions. If not, avoid your message being understood as a reproach. Make him or her understand how you feel without needing to attack him.
- When you ask and it is not clear to you ask again. Always without hurting and with empathy.
- Be sincereIf anything is important, it is sincerity. When you talk about things, do it with the greatest possible transparency possible to be able to solve your problems.
- Don't be the victimSelf-pity is useless, you must be aware of your part of responsibility and make him/her see it. This way your partner won't feel attacked.
- Offer solutions from both sides. Don't just focus on criticizing what bothers you, help him change it or improve it. You have to establish alternatives to the problem.
We must remember that a couple is formed by two people and We both have to give in and tolerateBy talking things over, we can reach a solution that allows us to have a good coexistence.
In case that don't know how to deal with this situation or you don't know how to act when your partner does things that bother you ask for helpYou will always have the option of going to a professional that gives you the opportunity to solve those problems.
In Psychia We have been experts in online therapy since 2012. Throughout our career we have helped more than 2,000 patients overcome various emotional problems. If you are interested in seeking the help of an online psychologist, you can request a free first session by clicking on the button below.
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- We have been leaders in online psychological care since 2012.
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- Online therapy from 40 euros per session.
- Team of senior psychologists, with decades of experience.
- All the therapy we offer is via videoconference. 100% confidential.
- The same psychologist will attend to you throughout the treatment.
- At you do not lose the money for the sessions. If you cannot connect or are not there, the session is postponed to another day.
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