Nowadays it is difficult for two people to be together for a lifetime, many people have children and then separate or leave a relationship to start another. It is increasingly common (and more so in the century we are in) for new relationships to form. couples in which one or both members have already had children previously.
In this way, some may appear differences that cause discomfort in the relationship to the point of having to put an end to it.
Can children be a problem?
They don't have to be a problem, although it depends on several things.
- One of the members already has children and a partner He doesn't like them either I didn't plan to live my life with them.The children will still be there because they cannot go anywhere. In this case, you have to decide whether to commit to the relationship and have the responsibility of taking care of the children or to leave the relationship.
- The children of one of the members live with him or he is the primary caregiver of them. There are people who are only with them a few days a week and there are other people who are not, something that in a relationship like this can be very different.
- You don't get along with your partner's children, something that will probably affect your romantic relationship.
I want to have children but my partner doesn't want to.
They don't have to be a problem, although it depends on several things.
- One of the members already has children and a partner He doesn't like them either I didn't plan to live my life with them.The children will still be there because they cannot go anywhere. In this case, you have to decide whether to commit to the relationship and have the responsibility of taking care of the children or to leave the relationship.
- The children of one of the members live with him or he is the primary caregiver of them. There are people who are only with them a few days a week and there are other people who are not, something that in a relationship like this can be very different.
- You don't get along with your partner's children, something that will probably affect your romantic relationship.
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What to do in either case?
Sometimes a woman or a father's dream is to have children, but he or she has the bad luck that his or her partner does not want them. The most common thing is that this type of situation occurs in adults with a well-established life, not in teenagers, so, The most recommended thing before starting a relationship with a person is to ask, know, talk and learn about the couple's future plans. to see what the other person wants in life, whether they want to have children or not, if they already have any, their dreams to fulfill, their concerns…
If your partner does not want to have children yet because he does not feel ready, but Yes, if you plan to have them in the future, it is not a problem.unless we don't want to wait.
However, there are times when this does not happen and a complicated situation can arise like the following: you love your partner and he or she is essential to you. There is a problem and it is that He has children and he doesn't want any more.
First of all, Talk to your partner and reach an agreementIf you have already done so and have not changed your mind, there are two options:
- Give up on your dream of being a mother or father for him or her, that is, sacrificing your dream for a relationship
- Sacrifice your relationship and leave your partner to fulfill your dream with another person who really wants to have children.
Therefore, the best of all is to know and understand the future life What does your partner want?because if such a situation occurs it is because there has not been a conversation on this topic. Also pIt may be that he or she had already told you that he or she already had children and did not want any more.In this case, you cannot blame him for anything. This may not be the fairest thing for you, but if you had previously talked about it and you agreed with it, you cannot say anything to him.
Sometimes people have already had a conversation where the couple has said they did not want children, but this Do you think that this may change one day or that it is a matter of age and maturity?This creates a relationship full of illusions and not facts that will probably end in unhappiness.
For these occasions the best thing is imagine yourself in the long-term futureIf you are not sure whether you are a parent, it is best to think about this, because it may just be a current state and you don't really care about not having children. If you stop to think about it, many people do not have children and have wonderful lives. Some couples never wanted to while others did.but they couldn't because of problems or because they weren't with the right person.
In any case, We must be true to ourselvesif after talking with your partner you have not been able to reach an agreement, you must Evaluate the decision to end the relationship. This decision may be very painful at first because you love each other, but in the long run, it will be for the best.or put your dreams in the way of a person who may be with you today and not tomorrow.
It is also advisable to consult a professional to help you make your decision and discuss all the options with you.
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