Differences between compassion and pity – Online Psychologists

The compassion and pity These are two feelings that, although they may seem similar, are not. There are several differences that you should know about.

The word compassion comes from Latin cum passiowhich could be translated as «suffer together.» It refers to dealing with emotions. However, the term Passion comes from Greek, specifically from the word pathoswhich in this case refers to a person's internal suffering. Therefore, compassion is the way you have of participate in the suffering of another person, that concern for the emotions of others. In this way, it is understood that, with compassion, you are able to better understand how much the other suffers and you try to reduce that suffering, alleviate it or eliminate it.

The pity It is a term that comes, again, from Latin, this time from the word «to hurt», which in turn is related to another Latin word: «blastemar» (to observe someone who suffers). Pity consists of a simple appreciation.

Here is the difference that you should keep in mind: Compassion involves a feeling of closeness and connection with the person who is suffering.. It's a active feeling through which you try to mitigate the suffering of others. On the other hand, pity is a passive feeling which simply implies sadness, but no action. For this very reason, pity is a less lasting emotion.

In fact, if you are a person who only feels pityyou tend to believe that you are on a higher level than the affected person, that is, there is a distance between the person who suffers and you. There is something that separates you and differentiates you, whether it is the moral, social, physical, cultural, economic level, etc. In addition, sorrow or sadness These are feelings that don't interest you. In fact, you prefer to console yourself with the thought that you are living in a better situation.

With this in mind, compassion, then, encompasses three aspects very important:

They are not similar feelings either. You could say that compassion is a clear emotion, while empathy is a type of reasoning. Empaths do not necessarily have to suffer for another person, but rather they use reasoning to be able to understand why that person is suffering.

A compassionate person does not need to reason about this suffering, because he feels the need to act and put an end to it.

The vulnerability It is an emotion that you can feel when you see that others feel sorry for you, but you must forget it. There is an obsession of believing that, in addition, appearing vulnerable and weak can be confused with the victimization.

In a difficult personal moment, it is necessary to be compassionate with yourself and your suffering, to treat yourself well and to be aware of your worth. Knowing how to get through a bad patch and overcome negative feelings is a difficult exercise, but it is possible and will turn that situation into a learning experience.

Does compassion mean suffering with that person? Not necessarily. Compassion is an emotion that does not have to make you experience in your person the suffering that another person is going throughIf so, be careful, because you may find yourself dragged into problems that are not yours and then you will not help that person.

So why do you have the feeling that having compassion for others makes you suffer like them? This It happens when you get so involved that you try to direct that person who is suffering, you want to control them and their emotions. That is practically impossible and it is common for it to get out of hand. You should not do it because it can be more painful for that person who is going through a sensitive moment. You have to dedicate yourself to accompanying, listening and making your presence known, without interfering too much in things that you cannot change.

It is normal that when you witness someone else's painful or difficult situation, the first thing you feel is pity. It can be a reaction that arises unconsciously and does not prepare you for what you are witnessing. Therefore, there is no desire, no motivation to bring about change. You just observe.

Ultimately, taking into account the differences between compassion and pity, what the world needs is compassion, because feeling pity, limiting oneself to observing the pain of others, is of no use.

Action, commitment and will (within the individual possibilities of each one) are necessary, but not only with others, also with yourself. Don't forget, you must not neglect yourself and neither reject those who feel compassion for you.

To cultivate compassion for yourself, you can start by:

The first step to practicing self-compassion is to be aware of your emotions. Take a moment to reflect on how you feel. Without judging, simply observe and acknowledge your emotions.

Imagine you are offering support to a good friend who is going through a difficult time. Now, direct those words of support and understanding toward yourself. Treat yourself with the same kindness you would someone you care about.

We all make mistakes and face challenges. Instead of beating yourself up over them, practice forgiveness toward yourself. Recognize that you are human, with imperfections, and learn from those experiences instead of carrying the blame.

Self-compassion also involves taking care of your physical and emotional well-being. Make time for activities that nourish you, whether it's a relaxing bath, a walk in nature, or just resting. Listen to the needs of your body and mind.

Focus on the positive things in your life. Be thankful for small victories and moments of happiness. Gratitude can change your perspective and foster feelings of self-compassion.

Learn to say no when necessary. Setting boundaries is a way to take care of yourself and avoid burnout. Recognize your own needs and respect them.

When faced with challenges or failures, avoid destructive self-criticism. Instead of punishing yourself, ask yourself how you can learn from the situation and what steps you can take to improve in the future.

Self-compassion is not a selfish act, but an essential component of maintaining balanced mental health. By taking the time and effort to practice self-compassion, you are building a strong foundation for facing life’s challenges with resilience and empathy.

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