Lack of sexual desire: what do I do if my partner no longer desires me? – Online Psychologists

There are many couples who, over the years, lose the sexual desire characteristic of the beginning of relationships. Sex is important to the extent that it provides a level of intimacy in which you connect with your partner in many ways, but the passage of time dulls the unbridled passion of the beginning to give way to other, deeper nuances.

The sexologist Santiago Frago Valls He explains it as follows:

“Erotic desire improves and evolves with age, but is conditioned by certain obstacles”:

1. Predictability and routine scriptsthat is, «knowing and intuiting how everything will develop.»
2. Common sexual and erotic biographythat is, «the difficulty of surprising your partner when you have learned everything together.»
3. My desire to want to have desirethat is, «not being able to allow ourselves not to have desire.»
4. The absolute availability of my partnerthat is, “feeling like you are always waiting,” which makes us count the days.
5. Couple conflicts and domestic imbalance, that is, «feeling the abandonment of one's partner in caring for the relationship.»
6. Being unhappy with one's own bodythat is, «feeling that my body is not going to be liked.»
7. ««Industriousness» of the erotic encounterthat is, «a lot of effort for little satisfaction.»
8. Feeling social obligation having to have sexual relations, that is, «we are young and we have few relationships,» «at this rate when we are older we will not do anything.»
9. Network of friendships and their unique experiencesthat is, «all our friends love each other and play, except us.»
10. Disease and side effects of certain drugs.
11. Addiction to tobacco, alcohol and other substances.
12. Previous erotic difficulties and fearsthat is, «I don't invite my partner over for fear of losing my erection, not ejaculating, not having orgasms, pain…»
13. The «wrong strategies» or when the problem is the solution, that is, «trying to provoke your partner and making sure that he or she doesn't notice or sees my insinuations as obligations.»

Sometimes it is difficult to regain sexual desire, but with effort and putting into practice the following advice, the situation may improve. However, do not be shy about consulting a psychologist specializing in sexuality, who will help you understand what is happening to you and resolve it in order to live your life to the fullest.

• Be honest and express what you need from your partner: Communication is essential in all relationships. Don't keep your frustration to yourself because, in the long run, this affects other areas of the relationship. Listen to his response and try to start a new tone regarding sexual relations.
• Look for the points that separate you to find the underlying problemSometimes the stress caused by long work days or frustration are behind the lack of sexual desire.

• Don't pressure your partner to have sex. Sometimes a lack of libido can lead to a complete lack of interest in sex when a person feels pressured. Remember that each of us has our own rhythms.
• Don't fall into routine practices. It may have become the norm that you are always the one to suggest sex and your partner the one to reject it. Breaking that cycle can be very beneficial. You can watch erotic films together, even pornography, play games, dress up, fulfill each other's dreams or give free rein to new forms of sexual pleasure with toys or the famous female suction cup, which will surely discover new things for you.
• Give yourself time. Lack of sexual desire cannot be solved overnight. You have to go step by step, prioritizing quality over quantity.

Yes. The best decision is to put the situation in the hands of a psychologist with experience in the field. A sexologist will give us the keys and guide us through the process. At we make it easy for you with online therapy, discreet, very comfortable and more economical than face-to-face therapy.

There are many factors that affect sexual desire, time, stress, children. Don't feel weird. If you need help, go to her.

While it is true that desire is related to love, there are times when the lack of desire is related to heartbreak. In this case, a breakup is a situation that can occur. It is important that Both members of the couple are clear about the situation that you are experiencing and that you agree on solutions. If your partner is not interested or does not make the effort to work with the therapist, you may need to consider breaking up for good.

Couples therapy provides a safe space for both partners to express their feelings and concerns. It helps to improve communication and mutual understanding, which can be instrumental in restoring intimacy to the relationship.

It is also important to note that couples therapy does not focus exclusively on sexual desire, but on addressing issues that may be affecting the relationship in general. By resolving these issues, sexual desire can naturally return as the relationship progresses. strengthens the emotional connection and intimacy between the couple.