Are you dying to write to your ex? Sometimes temptation can win over you, and it may even seem like a good idea to you. However, it’s important to be honest with yourself and answer a few questions before you decide to send the message. This can save you from making a big mistake.
1. What do you want to achieve?
It is important to ask yourself this question, because that can help you to be clear about your expectations in this regard. Do you want me to come back with you? Do you want to know if he is with someone else? just looking to say hello? And above all, be clear that you may not like the answer.
2. Looking for validation?
You’ll probably miss his compliments—that’s what you need the most when you’re alone—but there are other ways to get validation. you can download one apps dating, getting validation from your friends, or even better, from yourself. Seeking validation from an ex is cheating. Not only will you not feel better if you get it; in fact, it can make you feel worse. In addition, it is likely that he will refuse to do it.
3. Do you only feel homesick?
Some song plays and reminds you of your ex, the same if you go to a restaurant or visit the park where you used to go jogging together. It will be hard because nostalgia will make you miss it, and little things can easily bring it to mind. You’re going to want to run to look for it, but don’t worry, it’s just a phase, be strong!
4. How was your separation?
If you broke up recently, it’s best to give yourself some space. Even if you came to a good term and decided to be friends, it is necessary to have a rest period between you. Jumping from one day to the next from a relationship to a friendship can end up in codependency or some other gray area of the relationship between the two of you.
5. Have you drunk alcohol?
No matter what your status is with your ex, if you’ve been drinking, you should definitely stay off the phone. Nothing good can come from that situation. You will feel very brave, but the next morning all you will feel is regret.
6. How can you react?
If you imagine that he definitely won’t take it well (because you were also the one who ended the relationship), you shouldn’t do it. Think about how his last interaction went and how he would feel to receive your message.
7. Will you be okay if he doesn’t answer?
There is a high probability that he will not reply to your message. You must be fine with that. Think about how you will feel waiting for an answer that may never come. If you think that’s going to devastate you, then you better not look for it.
8. Do you want to return?
Maybe it was your ex who broke up with you and you’re still heartbroken, but as long as you’ve thought it through and want to get back together, you can. Consider that you need to be aware of the effort that this will imply, that they need to work to correct the mistakes that separated them. If you’re not really convinced about this, better avoid it or you’ll both get hurt.
9. Do you only respond to desire?
Sometimes you will miss your ex because of the nights of love and passion that you spent together. On an outing with friends you will feel the desire to have someone to return home with… but, couldn’t it be with someone else? She is not the only person you can have sex with. The feelings make you fall into the trap and the temptation to look for him because his breakup is recent and he is still in your thoughts, but doing so will not work.
10. Can they really be friends?
If you’re looking to stay friends, be very honest about whether you can handle it. Do you really want to be friends or do you want to continue the relationship? If you are just looking to have a platonic relationship, you need to ask yourself how the ex will fit into your life, what role will he play. Think about it very well and long enough, before you decide to look for it.
It may interest you: When a relationship ends, what follows is… spy on your ex?
With information from Bolde