Everyone likes to give and receive love in different ways, whether they are more affectionate physically or verbally or enjoying quality time with their partner.
In recent years, these signs of affection have been classified into the so-called five love languages., which include physical contact, words of affirmation, acts of service, gifts, and quality time. Knowing which of the five you gravitate towards can help you navigate relationships.
What is quality time?
Quality time is one of the five love languages, and it refers to showing love and affection by spending time together.. For people whose love language is quality time, «nothing says ‘I love you’ like the undivided and undivided attention of those you love,» says Dr. Gary Chapman, the marriage counselor who developed the love language theory. .
It is important that the time you spend together feel special and sacred and that you both feel truly present.; «with the TV off, the fork and knife down, and the phones and homework on hold,» she adds.
Signs that your love language is quality time
Here are some signs from Chapman and relationship counselor Margaret Paul. If you find most of these statements to be true, quality time is probably very important to you and possibly your primary love language:
- You feel lonely when you don’t have enough time with your partner.
- Spending time together is incredibly important to you, more than words, contact, gifts, or acts of service.
- Postponed activities or appointments bother you.
- When you don’t spend enough quality time with your partner, you may become sexually deviant.
- The time you spend together is the highlight of the relationship.
- If they don’t spend enough time together, they get upset or feel disconnected.
- Distractions or the feeling that someone isn’t listening to you can be especially painful.
- You put a lot of emphasis on making your schedules work and making time special.
How to show love to someone whose love language is quality time
1. Harvest quality in your day
If your partner is someone who enjoys quality time, make an effort to have intentional and meaningful time together when you truly feel connected.
«Make a point of quality planning in your day,» says Paul; «It can be as simple as having a meal together, sitting on a patio together, or snuggling when you wake up and sharing your dreams.»
2. Start and end your day together.
Chapman suggests starting the day with something that allows you to chat and connect, like enjoying a cup of coffee before work. In the same way, it’s important to find a meaningful way to get back together at the end of the day.
«After work, set aside 10 minutes to catch up—no phones,» Chapman recommends. This will help you both relax after work and talk about how your day was..
Of course, not all schedules allow it, but planning those times when you can be together and connect is important if your partner’s love language is quality time; And it doesn’t even need to be hours, a few minutes well spent will be enough to maintain that meaningful union.
3. Avoid distractions when you are together
People whose love language is quality time don’t want any distractions to interrupt their time with those they love.
«Being there for these kinds of people is critical, but being there really makes you feel truly special and loved,» Chapman explains; «Distractions, postponed activities or a lack of listening can be especially hurtful.»
It’s a general rule of thumb not to multitask when you’re spending time with your partner or when you’re both talking, as this can be very annoying..
Take an interest in what they say and feel
Love languages are all about connecting through different mediums, and quality time can often take the form of conversation and discussion.
It should not be confused with words of affirmation, which are more about saying «I love you», nor with other terms for the language of validation; quality time is all about presence: being fully there if there are no words, and listening carefully when there are.
Schedule date nights regularly
What couple doesn’t need a date night, right? But if quality time is the main way your partner acknowledges affection, making those date nights a fixed part of your schedule is key.
plan vacations at home
From time to time they can plan these types of activities to stay together at home, with different activities but away from distractions or work issues.