You have probably heard of the book The four Agreementswritten by Miguel Ángel Ruiz and based on the wisdom of the Toltec cultureor perhaps you have seen their phrases shared on social networks.
It is a very famous text that has more than 4 million copies sold plus a large number of digital downloads, in which are found valuable lessons to live and relate better in all areas: family, friends, relationships, work, abundance, health and well-being in general.
The four agreements are:
- Honor your words and be impeccable with them.
- Don’t take anything personally.
- Don’t guess or make assumptions.
- Always do the best you can.
Although they seem very simple, the four agreements mentioned in this book contain deep wisdom that you can apply in your daily life to communicate better, understand others, manage your emotions, control your impulses and, in general, live more peacefully. , tranquility and with better relationships in all areas in which you operate.
If you are interested in reading the book, you can find it at this link.
How to apply the 4 agreements in your daily life?
First agreement: Honor your words and be impeccable with them
Words carry great weight, whether you say them to yourself or to others. The word is capable of creating states of consciousness, which determine thoughts and are manifested in attitudes and actions.
Honoring your words and being impeccable with them means that you should not say things that go against your essence and your values, that you should always take responsibility for what you say, and that you should do everything possible to channel the gift of speech in a constructive way. and positive, that is, use the word to build, not to destroy.
Words are always loaded with deep meanings, that’s why you must choose well the ones you use when talking to yourself and when addressing others. Therefore, you should avoid using words to gossip or useless discussions, and do not use them to attack, judge, criticize or hurt yourself or others.
To incorporate the teaching of this agreement into your day to day you can do the following:
- Talk less and do more. He shows what you say with actions, because actions say much more than empty words.
- Keep your promises and commitments; and if you’re not willing to really do it, better not say it.
- Also take care of your thoughts, because that is the way you talk to yourself.
- Think well before you speak. Ask yourself if what you are going to say is good, necessary and contributes something; if not, perhaps it is better to shut up.
- In your relationships with others, try to listen more than you speak and pay attention to what is said to you.
- Avoid hurtful words, even if they are «joking», because you don’t know the mark they can leave on the listener.
- Discard all aggressive communication from your life; avoid getting involved in gossip and do not spread rumors.
Agreement Two: Take Nothing Personal
Many times, people assume that what happens revolves around them or that what others say is directed at them and they are upset or tormented by it, when most of the times it is not like that, but things just happen.
One of the most important life lessons to live in peace is that people don’t do things to affect you, they just do things and you decide if they affect you or not. This is what this agreement refers to, because if you always take everything personally, you will never be calm.
When you take everything personally, the one behind it is the ego, which makes you feel angry, frustrated, and emotionally drained by trying to fight against the opinions and situations of the world that can poison your life and make you want to have all the time the approval of others.
Not taking anything personally refers to letting situations flow, accepting that you cannot control what happens or what others do, but that you only have control over yourself, over the way you react to the environment and over managing your emotions. So don’t get hooked, breathe, respect opinions and ways of being different from yours and go your way without getting angry or feeling bad about it.
To incorporate the teaching of this agreement into your day to day you can:
- Learn from differences with others, by respecting opinions and ways of being different and integrating what is valuable in them.
- Understanding that the other is someone with their own problems, beliefs and difficulties, understanding that without judging and respecting differences.
- If something bothers you, find the appropriate space and express it clearly, from a compassionate but firm place, without getting upset and without offending the other.
- Do not seek to impose your desires over the opinions of others.
- Avoid living from the ego: learn about compassion, humility, conscious listening, and open-mindedness to live better experiences. This will help you to have more peace in all aspects.
- Let the world go round and round; avoid wanting to be in control of everything and understand that the only thing you can control are your reactions to what happens.
Agreement Three: Don’t Guess or Make Assumptions
It is said that the human being suffers more for what is imagined than for what really happens. Has it happened to you that you assume something and make a whole drama and in the end things do not turn out to be as you thought? This is something very common because, instead of asking to confirm things, people tend to make entire movies in their head and, even worse, they tend to take them as absolute truths.
To avoid this, the next time you have a question about a certain situation or about someone’s behavior or attitude, avoid assuming things and better go and ask directly to clarify any doubts you may have.
To incorporate the teaching of this agreement into your day to day you can do the following:
- Ask whatever is necessary to clarify your doubts regarding any situation.
- Be patient, reflect and connect better with other people.
- Avoid assuming or trying to guess what is happening by applying active listening and assertive communication.
- Manage and calm your emotions before acting impulsively.
- Do not claim or get angry about things that you do not know; Avoid reacting before you know what has really happened.
Fourth agreement: Always do the best you can
This agreement goes hand in hand with the idea of being the best version of yourself. But beware, it is not about trying to be perfect, because that is impossible, nobody is; Rather, it refers to the fact that you must give your greatest and best effort in everything you do, so that the result is the best possible.
It is about continuously expressing your highest commitment to the total quality of your thoughts, words and actions in all aspects of life. Making the maximum effort is getting out of your comfort zone to broaden your horizons and always seek personal growth, in favor of yourself in the first place and of your environment as a consequence.
All that is required of you is that you always and everywhere, always do your best, and make a conscious decision to be a better person every day.
To incorporate the teaching of this agreement into your day to day you can do this:
- Give a little more of yourself each day; make an effort in those aspects that you need to improve.
- Take inspiration from the people whose achievements you admire, find out what they did to achieve them, and try to follow in their footsteps.
- Talk to people who are exemplary for you and get the best of their words and teachings.
- Choose content (movies, social networks, books, blogs, etc.) that inspire you and encourage you to be better.
- Discover what moves and motivates you to strive to be better in all areas of your life.