One of the most difficult challenges we must face in our spiritual development and in our passage through this life in general, is what to do with our feelings of helplessness. There is a moment in everyone’s life when things either don’t turn out as we imagined or go terribly wrong. The uncertainty that these «failures» cause can trigger feelings of anxiety and fear.
Usually what we do in the face of these uncomfortable emotions is to avoid them, either with fun or work, but usually we keep ourselves entertained or busy enough to avoid experiencing anxiety and fear. However, often our internal pressures do not allow us to evade them forever and demand attention Through terrible feelings that cannot be ignored. Which force us to stop. When left behind feelings surface, we can experience very intense sensations. These 10 tips can help you help with feelings of helplessness, anxiety and fear.
1. Remember that this will pass, everything will pass, even anxiety and fear.
When we are experiencing distressing emotions like these our perception shuts down and everything we can see, everything that exists for us is colored by those feelings of anger, fear and anxiety. Which is a lousy trip, but in the midst of the crisis it seems so real. In fact, it often seems to us that it is all that exists, but it is not true. It’s just a moment. Now breathe.
2. You don’t need to solve everything. You just need to live a little with these feelings.
Like physical pain, emotional suffering makes us wish for it to end, for it to end, for it to change, for whatever happens but for this terrible weight to be lifted from our minds and bodies. It is true that everything changes and these emotions will too, but while that happens, you need to live with them a little. Do not do anything. Especially, don’t fight them because reviving them will only prolong the conditions of your suffering.
3. Remember that this will only be resolved within you, not outside of you.
When something is not going well, often our first option is to think about «going out into the world» and «doing something» about it. However, in this case, the crisis will only be resolved if you go to the root of the conflict within yourself, not outside. So sit for 5 minutes with you and stop running.
4. As you experience the darkness remember that this is part of emotional learning.
All journeys have their difficult parts. So as you go through this dark night and even though you can’t see the light, know that it exists. Trust that it will come and that this difficult trial you are experiencing makes sense. After all, for spiritual warriors it is essential to embody security and confidence in the face of challenges.
5. Don’t do anything until you’re clear about the next step for you.
Stop being busy is serious. When we want to change a habit, behavior or situation in our life, we believe that the step to take is actually to do something. When in reality step number one is to stop doing what we are doing that is causing the problem. This creates enough space for new habits, ideas, and conditions to form. So seriously: stop.
6. Do not blame or punish yourself for this «weakness.»
Unfortunately, contemporary society has a series of conflicting ideas about what is strength and weakness in people. All human beings must develop on a personal level, sooner or later, the challenges of our lives help us to achieve it and along the way there are times when we experience vulnerability and fragility. This too is an important part of the human experience, even if it is not the most desirable or enjoyable. Don’t blame yourself, don’t punish yourself. Something that can help you with this specific point is to perform a small symbolic ritual regarding your conflict. Writing or drawing something about it and burning it, cutting it down, burying it, or creating some ritual or gesture to release it are excellent options. Just remember that it is crucial to perform these symbolic acts with love, letting go of the situation. Sit calmly for a few moments before doing it and let the anger and hate dissipate a bit. Then focus your intention with your best intentions and feelings.
7. Attend your body.
Our body also stores sensations and emotions. For example, when you suffer from anxiety or panic attacks, there are important posture changes that influence the way you perceive your body. The chest closes and the breath loses depth and fluidity. Sometimes you even stop breathing, holding your breath. The throat and jaw also tense. So experiencing a suffocating sensation when going through these afflictions makes a lot of sense.. If after the crisis you do not relax the muscles and bones involved, you will not be able to «restart» your nervous system to achieve the calm that you crave in difficult times. Remember that you are a whole, attending to your mind, body and emotions in the same way is essential.
8. Review your beliefs regarding the change.
Change the only constant in human existence. So there will be multiple moments of transition in our lives, but the essence of transition is that it is temporary. Our emotions, thoughts and even our body are constantly transformed. Thinking of the chaos of these moments as a kind of primordial soup from which a new creation is gestated can help us to dimension our experience. For within this scheme chaos is necessary for flourishing. In the words of Chögyam Trungpa.
«Chaos must be considered as good news.»
9. Write how you feel.
It is not that you are going to read it, show it or send it to someone, but writing down your feelings has two advantages. The first is that making the effort to verbalize your emotions can help you understand what is happening to you. The second is that keeping a record of your feelings shows you its fluctuations, how there are days when you feel you can conquer the world and others when you taste the bitter taste of defeat and how despite everything life goes on and there will always be some happy day on the horizon.
10. Remember that it is okay to ask for help.
Get close to a loved one you can trust and let yourself be supported. Put aside modesty, guilt or reproach for your «weakness» (remember point number 6) and talk to him sincerely to that person. Supporting yourself in the community is an act of emotional intelligence
The geography of our lives includes all kinds of peaks, valleys, plateaus, and cliffs. They are all important parts of our journey and If we accept that all terrains and experiences have utility and validity, we will find that our experiences have a purpose. Leaning on that feeling can strengthen us as we go through challenges.
Source: Elephant Journal