Love is felt and experienced differently by each person and in each couple. Thus, There are no hard and fast rules about when it’s best to say «I love you» for the first time in a new relationship.; however, the following considerations can help you decide if this is a good time or perhaps you should wait a bit.
First of all, it is important to take into account that the time a person must wait to say «I love you» for the first time depends on what this statement means to that particular person.
While some begin to say it almost immediately, without stopping to reflect on what that phrase really means, for others, saying it has a deep meaning that prevents them from expressing it lightly.
The former use the term «love» rather loosely; in this case, saying «I love you» may seem appropriate in the first few weeks or months. However, for people in the second case, saying it can take months or even years, because they believe that «I love you» has great meaning and want to wait until they are absolutely sure how they feel.
According to data from a survey of 6,000 people by the dating site OKCupid, 62% think they should say «I love you» as soon as they feel it, while 22% think they should wait several months and 3% think they should wait at least 1 year.
On the other hand, according to various investigations, on average, It takes men about 3 months to say «I love you» while women take about 5 months..
When is it too early to say «I love you»?
It’s probably too early if you don’t really know the person that well, which is a sign that you might be confusing love and infatuation. Falling in love is a strong feeling of attraction and fixation towards someone, while love implies feeling intimately attached and close to that person.
So the feelings of «love» felt in the first days or weeks of a relationship are often actually feelings of being in love.
On the other hand, Truly loving someone means that you see and appreciate them for who they are, and are willing to accept them with both their strengths and their weaknesses.. This type of love cannot arise through a series of short dates or fabulous sexual encounters, but develops over time, through mutual knowledge and coexistence.
How long does love take to emerge?
Feelings of love can happen after a few weeks or months of meeting someone, but this depends on the amount of time you spend together, the depth of the interactions, and the bonds that are created. Therefore, true love can be experienced and expressed in several weeks of deep and intentional interactions.
It’s more about the nature of the time you spend together than the amount of time you spend together.. When significant experiences (good or bad) are shared and the other person is there, either to share the joys or to support and care in bad times, the brain releases oxytocin and vasopressin, which are the well-being and bonding hormones. , which make people want to have long-term relationships.
Should you say it first?
In general, If two people love each other, it doesn’t matter who says «I love you» first.. Yes, the other person may not respond in kind, but be aware that honoring your feelings of vulnerability is risky and can be scary; however, it is a way of building intimacy.
If you’re not sure if your partner feels the same way, you can still open your heart and express your love. Although you may have to take into account the personality of your partner and how seriously they take saying «I love you», because the proclamation of love can bring a person «not so prepared» closer and help them take the step and start to also Express your feelings.
But, at the same time, that action can scare someone for whom saying «I love you» is something really deep and serious and for whom it is better to wait, or for whom it is difficult to express their emotions and usually take longer to say it.
If it turns out that you dare to say it and your partner does not respond in the same way, yes, it probably hurts, but that does not mean that your relationship will end there or that that person will not love you or will not love you.
Their times are simply different and perhaps their way of showing affection is different; perhaps you are more of words and your partner is more of actions, so do not be discouraged or despair, when the time comes for that person to tell you that she loves you, she will do it.
In the end, the most important thing you should take into account when deciding when to tell your partner that you love them is your feelings. Say it when you feel you have to say it, when it comes up inevitably, genuinely and naturally; when «I love you» is no longer enough, when «I love you» becomes the best way to express your feelings with words.
On the other hand, avoid saying it out of pressure, because you feel that «this is how it should be», or because you want to get something from your partner; always say it honestly and in tune with what you feel, think and do.
Never compare your relationship with other people’s; let yours take her own pace and follow her own path, which will depend on your times and those of your partner. Remember that, just like the people who make them up, each relationship is unique.
Cover photo: Freepik