illustrates paffaro
edition James Jokura
MUNDO ESTRANHO brought together the cream of the intellectually disadvantaged. These are people who, without wanting to, cut off the internet in three countries, set their own house on fire – trying to turn coconuts into gold – and even died of stupidity! The inspiration for selecting the cases was an article – more sarcastic than academic – by the late Italian historian Carlo Cipolla. In The Basic Laws of Human Stupidity, he suggests that there would be four types of individual (intelligent, crooks, naive and stupid), depending on the relationship between personal gain and the loss of the other. The one who gets along badly and still screws with others is classified as stupid. Like the ones you’ll meet next…
1. THE SHOVEL HACKER
Hunting copper wires to earn a change, Hayastan Shakarian, 75, performed a feat that would kill any hacker with envy: when digging along the side of a train line, he hit a fiber optic cable and cut the internet in three countries by 12 hours. A resident of Georgia, which supplies 90% of the internet to Armenia and part of the connections to Azerbaijan, the elderly woman, who doesn’t even know what the internet is, was released because of her age.
2. HURRY IS THE ENEMY OF CELEBRATION
Just six hours before turning 21 – the minimum age required to consume alcohol in the state of Ohio, USA – young Jesse Robinson was arrested, drunk, in the city of Springboro. Robinson, who was said to be doing a warm-up to celebrate coming of age, was released after paying bail, but spent his first hours of adult life in a police station, in addition to being bullied by his family.
3. GO THAT’S YOURS!
“You can hit on my ex’s hottie”, said the e-mail from the British Harry Fildes to Sebastian Marsh, who became interested in his friend’s former girlfriend at a party. The annoying thing is that the girl, Jenni Palmer – who still lived with Fildes – was copied, by mistake, in the conversation. To make matters worse, the email went viral on the internet and Jenni’s privacy was exposed to millions of people through indiscreet photos posted on the network.
4. DECORATED HEAD
Rushed to a costume party, Englishman Shawn Merter left with the clothes on his back and stuck a mini hat on his head. First, the dummy tried using regular glue, but the thing only stopped on his head when using superglue. On the way back, Shawn couldn’t unglue the prop. Neither he nor the doctors: the team sawed off the hat and soaked the patient’s head in warm water for 12 hours to remove what was left
5 and 6. MININAZIS
American couple Deborah and Heath Campbell named their three children after names inspired by German Nazism. Nobody had complained until a bakery refused to decorate a birthday cake with the name of the eldest son, Adolf Hitler, just 4 years old. Parents were denounced and lost custody of Adolf and their daughters, JoyceLynn Aryan Nation (Aryan Nation), 3 years old, and Honszlynn Hinler (possible reference to Heinrich Himmler, one of the Nazi leaders), 2 years old
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The stupidity of a British woman dropped the price of a Chinese antique from more than R$700,000 to around R$150,000. To fix a flaw, she hammered off a piece of the Qing dynasty urn. She even thought about throwing the object away, but an auction house asked her not to get rid of the relic to try to sell it.
8. TO STOP TRAFFIC
The mania for taking off one’s clothes in celebrations and popular protests ended in an accident. To celebrate Water Day, two environmentalists from the organization Peta went topless on a street in Los Angeles, distracting several drivers. One of them ended up crashing the car and the accident was recorded by CBS TV.
9. SLAP IN THE FIRM
A Canadian woman, whose name was not revealed, took a marijuana cake secretly made by her son to work, which was kept in the freezer. Also unaware of the magic ingredient, three colleagues tasted a piece, got high and felt sick. The unsuspecting mother was not punished, but the cook son had to do community service
10. MORTAL GAMES
All it took was an oversight on the part of the parents for their little son to get lost in an Italian train station, in Milan. In his distraction, focused on playing a game on his portable video game, the boy made a mistake with his foot and fell face down on the rail. The donkey is only alive thanks to the hasty rescue of a policeman
11. SURGICAL SHOOTING
Troubled by a wart on his hand, British Sean Murphy, 38, abused ointments and creams in an attempt to remove it. As none of the conventional treatments had any effect, the madman decided to remove it at home with a 12-gauge shot. The damage was too efficient and Sean got rid of not only the wart but also half of a finger. As if he wasn’t in enough trouble, he even ended up in chess for illegal use of a firearm. In addition, the police still discovered that the gun was stolen.
12. SORRY, IT WAS MISTAKE
In the rush of everyday life, it is common to exchange names, forget to pay bills or call the wrong numbers. Let the British Victoria Stacey say so. Distracted, the woman texted her husband’s cell phone: «How about another weekend at the Marriott hotel in Birmingham?» The problem is that the SMS was actually meant for the lover. When he discovered the betrayal, the husband threatened his wife with a shoe in his hand. Now, she is the one who is filing a lawsuit against him for physical assault.
13 and 14. GETTING MIDDLED
Safe sex in the car is sex with the engine off. Trying to spice up the relationship, a German couple decided to make out on the banks of the Rhine with the engine running so as not to get cold. Enthusiastically, the lovebirds kicked the automatic transmission and switched from “parking” to “driving”. The car not only walked but also dove. The pair needed help from the local rescue service to get out of the water.
15. DUDE WHERE’S MY CAR?
Forgetting where we parked the car sucks. Imagine, then, taking three years to find it! That’s what happened to Gerald Sanctuary, 80, in Hertfordshire, UK. Despite the complaint to the police, the vehicle only appeared when an attendant noticed a very dirty car, parked for at least a month, in a public parking lot in the city. And guess who owned the vehicle….
16. YOUR GUARD, I AM NOT A VAGABOND
Instead of stealing any car, Peter Theado, from Amherst, USA, wanted to take a car right away! The guy broke into the police parking lot, hid in the vehicle and was only noticed when a guard wanted to leave with the car and couldn’t open it. Peter even used the radio to ask for guidance on how to start the car and go on patrol to protect the population.
17. BLACK GOLD
Some ideas are worth gold. This was obviously not the case for Irish student Paul Moran, 30. Posing as an alchemist, the guy intended to use his knowledge to turn poop into gold by heating the excrement in an electric oven. Due to a short circuit in the device, the madman set his house on fire and ended up being framed for it. In addition to serving three months in prison, he had to perform community service for a year.
18. MORTAL FIGURATION
An American woman from the state of Missouri was not warned that her job as an extra in a Halloween art installation was fake. The young woman (whose identity was not revealed because she was only 17 years old), had to stand still in one of the seven scenes set up at school, set in a bathroom. But she slipped and ended up with her neck hanging on a gallows. Despite being found not breathing, the girl survived.
19 and 20. IDIOTICE OVERDOSE
US police officer Edward Sanchez stole marijuana at work, took the drug with his wife and got high. So much so that he called emergency services saying he was overdosing. “We are dying. We made a pot cake and I think we’re dead.» Sanchez was removed from the police
21. FIRST TRIP
Teenage Elizabeth Frisinger lost her virginity during a school field trip. But when it came time to spread the news, she made a mistake when choosing the recipient of the message and told everything to her own father: “OMG! I just had my first time at the beach! I wish you were here!» The answer came dry: “I believe this message was for someone else. The tour is over.” Along with it, her father forwarded the flight number she would be taking the next morning. It was the end of the journey and the beginning of a long punishment.
22. FOUR LESS SCREWS
Driving home from a New Year’s Eve party, Briton Andrew Mackay was so stoned he didn’t notice one detail: his car was missing a wheel. And it wasn’t for lack of signs: the vehicle swerved to the right and the contact between the axle and the asphalt generated sparks. The drunk only realized his stupidity when he was stopped by the police. With three times the alcohol limit in his blood, Mackay was sentenced to community service and banned from driving for three years. Ufa!
23. HEAVY LOAD
As with anyone, young Cody Wilkins, 25, put his phone in the socket and forgot about it. Problem is, he did it during a robbery. The son of the owner of the invaded house noticed the presence of the intruder and called the police as he fled. Searching the house, the family found a phone that did not belong to any resident. Through the device, the police discovered the identity of the subject and discovered that he was the author of ten other crimes of the type in the region.
24. FRIENDLY FIRE
Racing Club de Ferrol, a team in the fourth division of Spanish football, celebrated an important goal in the championship. During the celebration, the players formed the traditional circle, full of hugs and smiles. Player Rafa Casanovas approached his teammates to celebrate and ended up being punched by one of his teammates by accident. The crash was so strong that the athlete had to be taken out on a stretcher to receive care. Rafa, however, showed determination and returned to the game a few minutes later.
25. COMPULSIVE BUYER
In August 1890, the first execution of a criminal in the electric chair took place in the USA. As soon as Emperor Menelik II of Abyssinia (now Ethiopia) heard about the novelty, he immediately ordered three electric chairs from the Americans. Only when the order arrived, it was discovered that it would be of no use, since there was no electricity in the country. Solution: one of them was used as an imperial throne
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26. INNOCENT WALK
During a test drive in Sydney, Australia, the customer liked the store’s Mitsubishi Lancer so much that he tried to outrun the salesman to make off with the vehicle. When the owners of the dealership called the police, they passed the photocopy of the driver’s license that the rascal had left in the store. The car was easily found right in front of the 26-year-old perpetrator’s house, whose identity has not been revealed.
27. ETERNAL LIFE, JUST BACKWARDS
Preparing the costume for college Halloween, a US student put a wooden board under his shirt to drive a machete into his chest. Unfortunately, the board did not withstand the impact of…