Anyone who boasts of being a lover of poetry must at some point in their life have heard a poem by Emily Dickinson, an emblematic poet who has earned recognition among the classics. But, an artist with such abilities to put into words the beauty of reality, she could not have experienced an everyday life. On the contrary, the difference stood out as one of the most striking qualities in the poet’s personality. So much so that, centuries before when gender roles punished otherness as executioners, she broke with schemes and often reassigned her pronouns to refer to herself as a swinging bridge between the feminine and the masculine. But perhaps the most relevant aspect of Emily Dickinson is her passionate capacity to love, which is glimpsed in the poetic letters that recount her intense love between her and Susan Gilbert.
a geometric love
Four months before her twentieth birthday, Emily Dickinson (December 10, 1830 – May 15, 1886) met the woman who would be her muse for the rest of her days, her «only woman in the world.» Susan Gilbert had settled in Amherst, to be close to her sister after graduating from Utica Academy for Women. One of the few academically rigorous institutions available to women at the time.
Susan slipped into Emily’s life in the summer of 1850, a fact that would later be described by the poet as the time when «love first began, on the front-door step and under the leafy trees.» perennial.” But Emily wasn’t the only person entranced by Susan’s charm, Austin Dickinson, the poet’s brother, was also captivated by her early erudition. But this didn’t stop Emily and Susan from developing a passionate friendship.
Emily Dickinson’s letters to ‘Susie’
Over the next seventeen months a whirlwind of emotions washed over Emily, who managed to form an intimate bond with Susan. The two young women spent long hours together, taking walks in the woods, and their friendship would last throughout their lives. “We are the only poets,” Emily told Susan, “and everyone else is prose.”
At the beginning of 1852, the poet had fallen into the dead end of falling in love beyond words. And she launched into a line to her friend:
«Come with me this morning to the church inside our hearts, where the bells always ring and the preacher whose name is Love will intercede for us!»
But as with any close relationship, disagreements came without warning when Susan accepted a ten-month position as a math teacher in Baltimore. Dickinson was devastated by such a separation, but this was the perfect occasion to declare his love to Susan through her letters, which would later become iconic for the passionate poetry contained in them.
…less anger and more sadness
In a letter from the early spring of 1852 and eight months after the separation, Emily wrote a letter revealing her inner conflict:
Will you be nice to me, Susie? I feel naughty and angry this morning, and nobody here loves me; You wouldn’t even love me if you saw me frown and heard the loud slam on the door every time I walk by. And yet it’s not anger, I don’t think it is, because when no one is looking, I wipe the big tears with the corner of my apron and then continue working. Bitter tears, Susie, so hot they burn my cheeks, and almost set my eyes on fire, but you’ve cried a lot, and you know it’s less anger and more sadness.
Your precious letter, Susie, is here now, and smiles so kindly at me. And she gives me such sweet thoughts about the dear author of hers. When you come home, honey, I won’t get your letters, okay? But I will have you, which is more… Oh, more and better than I can think of! I sit here with my little whip, breaking time, until there’s not an hour left, then you’re here! And joy is here, joy now and forever!
A poetic revolution against heteronormativity
Months later, and Susan’s expectant return home, Emily experienced a roller coaster of emotions. With her love so intense and intricate of hers, she struggling between the pain of separation, the joy of reunion and uncertainty. A few days after the return of her intimate, Emily Dickinson left reflected in her letters:
“Susie, are you really going to come home next Saturday and be mine again and kiss me like you used to? I wait so much for you, and I feel so anxious for you, I feel like I can’t wait. The anticipation of seeing your face again makes me feel hot and feverish, and my heart is beating so fast. I go to sleep at night, and the first thing I know is that I’m sitting there, awake and hugging my hands and thinking about next Saturday. Why, Susie, I think my absent Lover would be home so soon, and my heart must be very busy preparing for him.
Dickinson would frequently and deliberately reassign gender pronouns, both to herself and to her loved ones. Throughout her life, she often signed her letters referring to herself as him: boy, prince, count, or duke in defiance of the stark heteronormativity imposed at the time.
But the love story between Emily and Susan is woven between geometric figures, where the base of the triangle is shared by Emily and Austin Dickinson. Susan ended up marrying the poet’s brother and although he repeatedly hid her sister’s correspondence, the letters between them continued. They reveal the unusual story of love between two women who thoroughly explored the splendors and sorrows of their bond. Thanks to which, Dickinson transformed his greatest desires into a creative revolution that would transform poetry forever.
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