Having the ability to navigate worrying situations and people without losing your mind is crucial.
In fact, it is a key result when you learn to be patient with the right tools.
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The tools you need to deal with to be more patient They will help you stand firm in the face of difficult situations and people.
With practice, they will give you the ability to have self-control, so you have room for choose the most effective response, even when you’re stressed, anxious and exhausted.
There are some factors that indicate that you need to expand your tolerance to deal with physical or emotional distress or pain.
- You realize that you spend a lot of time dwelling on the past, ruminating on mistakes and problems that have already occurred.
- Perhaps conversely, you worry about the future and possible errors or problems.
- You have started to isolate yourself because people drive you crazy.
- Addiction has become a coping strategy. You are drinking, taking drugs, smoking, eating, or shopping to the point that you are causing problems for yourself.
- There are times when you realize that you are taking out your frustrations on others.
- Avoidance is one of your strategies for dealing with difficult situations.
- You may find yourself trying to manage the world around you by becoming too controlling.
- Ultimately, you may find yourself using self-injurious behaviors to numb or punish yourself.
What all these indicators have in common is that they have a cost. each one has a emotional and physical impact on you.
Y none of these behaviors solve anything or increase your ability to navigate life effectively.
With that said, here are the 4 tools you need to increase your patience and decrease your stress.
1. Radical acceptance
Radical acceptance is a mentality change. Even though you may not like a situation or how another person is behaving, you can change your attitude. And believe me, I know exactly how difficult this can be.
However, it is a useful way of looking at your life and the situation you find yourself in, hoping to get a better result.
The radical acceptance is an idea that was first discussed by marsha linehan in the early 1990s.
When you find yourself in a painful situation, your first reaction may be to get angry or engage in passive-aggressive or violent behavior. You may find yourself looking everywhere who’s to blame.
guilt is one typical response to difficult situations. Even so, no matter who is to blame or how terrible, appalling, horrible the situation is, your pain still exists and you continue to suffer.
In fact, the angrier you get, often the worse you feel. Anger is salt in a wound if you hold it in past the point where it is useful to tell you something.
radical acceptance doesn’t mean you like or approve of a situation. It is not a free pass to put up with bad behavior or allow yourself to be stepped on everywhere. It’s just the acceptance of your reality.
By accepting reality we can shift our attention to be upset towards the steps to be taken to deal with the situation. It is also a way to set aside judgments and criticism.
Both get in the way of giving grace to ourselves and to others.
All you will be doing with radical acceptance is recognize your current situationwhatever it is, so that you can begin the work of go ahead and allow you to be patient with the process.
2. Change your narrative
We say a lot of negative things in our head. We give ourselves limits, we exert ourselves in fits of fear or anger and we magnify the frightening of our situations. And we do all this with the negative narrative that we begin to let run in our minds.
Changing your narrative doesn’t mean you take a sticky situation and turn your thoughts into Lovesick perfection.
All it means is take what you’re saying and challenge the most negative elements and often, debilitating.
If I’m in a situation where I find myself frustrated and on the verge of losing my mind, then it’s about normalize frustration Y give me space to think of a new solution.
For example:
«I can’t stand or handle this» changes to, «I don’t like the situation, but i can and i will get over it«.
«It never should have happened, it’s wrong!» changes to «I can’t change the past, but I can influence the future«.
«That’s not fair!» moves towards, «It is what it is. What next steps can I take?«
«It’s awful, awful, awful!» becomes «This moment is the culmination of tons of decisions. Where do I go from here?»
3. Distract yourself
Distraction can be one of the most useful tools in your toolbox to expand your patience.
When we are angry or frustrated, our automatic responses can get us into trouble or at least do a big mess which needs to be cleaned later. (So never hit «send» immediately on an angry email. I’m just saying.)
Take a break from the annoying situation and there are some ways you can do it:
- Go for a walk: even a short walk can change your perspective
- Pick a good book and read a few chapters
- listen to a good audiobook
- flip through magazines
- watch a funny movie
- Take a shower
- take a nap
Basically, give yourself some time and space to distance yourself from the situation. Personally, I enjoy taking a walk to clear the cobwebs.
Seeing something different or moving to a completely new environment can help you regain your balance. And balance and breathing are very supportive of engaging your ability to be patient.
4. Calm down
This technique is somehow related to distracting yourself, but you can also calm down at the time that maybe you cannot leave and you must immediately face the problem.
Some interesting research has been done on how have a cold drink when you are getting upset and getting hot it can help you stay calm. And, conversely, if your frustration Headed to have a cold insideyou may drink hot tea or soup to calm your senses and works.
Having a helpful mantra can help you calm down. «I’m fine, I’m fine, I’m fine…» helps me often.
To have realistic expectations or adjust expectations it can help find and increase patience in crucial moments.
If I’m dealing with a puppy, then I need to remember all the normal things that puppies dobe conscious and realistic is exceptionally helpful. Again, if you have time, take a bath or read a good book or listen to your favorite music. are brilliant ways to calm down.
They can also help distract you from what’s bothering you and working on your last nerve.
You got it!
When faced with stress, it is important to take time and develop plans to take care of yourself.
Having a plan to challenge your negative feelings or a plan to distract or calm yourself can relieve pressure When you’re about to lose your mind Plans can help you be more patient.
Being frustrated with yourself or with a situation or another person it is part of being human. Acknowledge the feelings you have and then look for an effective response.
With practice, the above tools can give you the gift of freedom from self-suffering.