We have no control over who we love. This emotion comes in different shapes and forms and comes at a time when you least expect it. But being in love with an alcoholic can seem like the hardest part, since it puts you in a difficult situation, especially when you consider that Alcoholism is a disease that requires proper treatment.
When someone he is in love with a person who suffers from alcoholism, he has no idea how to take care of his own needs because he stays taking care of his partner all the time. The inability to feel free, responsible and cared for can affect his emotional and mental health. So, here are some things you should always keep in mind about being in love with an alcoholic.
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Alcoholics typically try to blame their drinking on circumstances or other people around them / Pexels
Feelings of guilt
Your partner will constantly make you feel guilty by criticizing you for your habits that have ‘supposedly’ led to drinking so much. He knows that a person’s addiction to alcohol is the work of one person and not someone else. Yes, there may be factors that have caused it, but don’t blame yourself for your partner’s medical condition.
Do not blame yourself: It is a common place to wonder if this is your fault or if you have been complicit in letting the addiction manifest. Codependency and empowerment are harmful things a couple can be a part of, and they are rarely done on purpose or with willful malice.
Try to recognize that addiction is not a matter of pointing fingers. The most effective path is to seek professional help and not try to correct or diagnose the problem yourself or with the substance user.
lots of excuses
When dealing with an alcoholic, you will come across many excuses that point out your partner’s worst habits. Don’t make a habit of covering them up; in fact, don’t cover them at all.
Your partner may ask you to make excuses because they may be feeling tired, sick, or unable to attend a social gathering. By doing this, you are not helping them, but you are guiding them with their alcoholic problem, even more.
Responsibilities
You cannot take responsibility for curing your partner’s addiction. Alcoholism is a medical problem that Requires trained professional assistance for recovery. There may be serious problems that are beyond your control and ability. You can simply support your partner emotionally and mentally.
facing problems
Let your partner face their demons on their own. You may feel protective and caring, but it is their problem that they have to deal with. Nobody can do that for them.
And in cases of alcohol addiction, your partner must take the necessary steps to recover on their own. Don’t pressure your partner to leave because this can backfire and cause bigger problems.
Accepting the behavior
Don’t tolerate negative or unacceptable behavior from your partner because you need to know that it’s not okay if they’re being extremely negative about everything.
They should not blame their alcohol problem for their unacceptable mistakes of lying, cheating, gambling, etc. They should not rely on their problems as an excuse for their behavior.
It is natural to feel pressured and depressed when dealing with such a person. If you need help or therapy to deal with this situation, don’t be afraid to ask for help.
Keep the hope
The chances that the couple or family will be in a better position to make effective decisions with professional guidance are much greater than if the opinion of the substance user is taken. The substance user in his or her flooded state and hijacked mind is often the least qualified to guide the group toward a solution.
With that in mind, coming together as a group and realizing that addiction is a treatable medical condition can bring hope to an otherwise hopeless situation. With an effective solution, a substance user, your family or partner can lead a full life after effective treatment for both sides begins.
Actions to consider to help a person with alcoholism
Seek professional help:
There are many forms of professional help for families and couples with a loved one affected by alcohol. Have a consultation with a professional drug and alcohol interventionist it is a first step toward creating a plan for you and your family members or your partner’s recovery from alcohol addiction.
The intervention is highly effective and can provide an accurate assessment of the severity of the alcohol problem while addressing the effect on the family system. Intervention can also address underlying conditions and factors that influence addiction and determine the appropriate level of care for your treatment plan. Other considerations, such as counseling for family recovery, ongoing support, relapse prevention, and warning signs.
Stage an intervention:
By staging an intervention, you are giving yourself and your family closure, knowing that you did everything you could to help yourself and your loved one.
Often, People believe that intervention is a one-off event that involves talking to a substance or alcohol user to initiate treatment. Although it is a small part of the process, an intervention is a process that involves the family to increase the opportunity for your loved one to be held accountable and give them a greater chance of success.
If the addiction only affected the person using alcohol or drugs, then convincing them to start treatment could be an effective approach. For those who understand addiction and what it does to a family system, also understand that neglecting the family it would be remiss on the part of any professional who chooses only to focus on the substance or alcohol user.
Interventions always occur in crisis situations and come in various forms. When a family takes the initiative to organize an intervention on their own terms, they avoid further heartache for themselves and their loved one. You are helping your loved one avoid other methods of intervention that happen beyond one’s control.
You have to make them see that they are responsible:
See the need for a change it requires one to see the things that need to be changed.
When a substance user is not responsible for their actions, they gain entitlement and see much less of a problem. No one is suggesting that you go to great lengths to create consequences for the substance user. It must be shown that if someone decides to participate in risky behavior, then any consequences should become your responsibility and not yours.
If they choose to continue using substances after a family has offered them an alternative solution, they will need to address any decisions they make after that. The accountability they gain from this helps them see the need for change and helps them understand that their actions have consequences that they are responsible for and not you.