The first satisfaction of a person is to look inside and feel good, in accordance with their way of being, thinking and behaving. The other comes in addition. Almost everyone likes affable, sincere, positive, genuine, cheerful, communicative and sensitive people. But let’s face it: it is difficult to become one of these individuals loved and appreciated by all. So getting all people to like you is not easy.
TIME magazine recently published a list of six experiment-proven tricks that will improve your interpersonal skills.
let people talk about themselves
One of the ways to achieve empathy with others is allowing them to talk about themselves, as it has been proven that either in a personal conversation or through social networks such as Facebook or Twitter, making known who they are, what they think or when they express their tastes, it is as pleasant for them as when they eat or have money.
That is called self-disclosure, and it is extremely satisfying. As Harvard neuroscientist Diana Tamir puts it, “people were even willing to give up money to talk about themselves.”
Ask questions
If something threatens people in the first conversations, it is that they correct it. One way to help others through a situation is to use questions that prompt you to find the solution yourself. That way you will generate security and confidence to move forward.
People can be helped more when they are allowed to develop their own views, because that way they will be more effective, even when someone has lost their way on an important project. Leading others to a vision involves letting feedback flow to facilitate positive change.
ask for advice
New research shows that seeking advice is a good strategy for influencing others, especially when we don’t have authority over them. It is a way to positively impact others.
In one experiment, researcher Katie Liljenquist looked at people negotiating property. When the sellers were focused on getting the highest price, only 8 percent of them managed to close the deal, but when the sellers asked the buyers for advice on how to meet different objectives, 42 percent reached an agreement in the sale. sale.
In those cases, asking for advice encouraged further cooperation and information sharing, turning an unproductive negotiation into a mutually beneficial agreement. Studies have shown that this works in other business areas such as in the financial sector, in the field of insurance and in the pharmaceutical industry.
The trick of the two questions
When you ask people about some aspect of their life, do it in two steps. Ask about something positive first, then ask a more general question.
It may seem ridiculous, but for the Nobel Prize in Economics, psychologist Daniel Kahneman, a positive answer to the first question will make people feel more optimistic to answer the following ones, because answering emotionally impacts their mood.
the last three words
Social skills expert Leil Lowndes advises repeating the last two or three words your interlocutor said in a friendly and polite tone, even as a question. This shows that he is listening interestedly, and allows you to come back on topic, which can result in more information, and more time for self-disclosure.
Gossip
Conversations are two-way activities, an opportunity to make a good impression. What you say about others can give your listeners an idea of you. That is why it is important to congratulate others because that way you will be seen positively, on the other hand, if your comments are complaints, it can be associated with the negative traits that you hate.
When there is gossip about another person, listeners will unconsciously associate it with the things you are describing. Those characteristics transfer, so by saying positive and nice things about your friends and colleagues, you will come across as a good person. On the contrary, if you constantly complain about the shortcomings of others, people apply the negative traits and incompetence to you.
Make the most of your conversations, as communication is a valuable opportunity to improve your public relations. Remember, there is no second chance to make a first impression.
Source: Week