9 tips to be assertive without losing your personality – Online Psychologists

Maintaining assertive communication is the best way to express yourself while respecting your ideas and those of others. However, it is not always easy to put this attitude into practice, so we are going to give you some tips. 9 tips to practice assertiveness without losing your personality.

The term 'assertiveness' refers to the ability to communicate our feelings and needs to the people around us without hurt and offend to others.

This is a social ability with which we learn to express our feelings and emotions, respecting ourselves and othersIt is a form of communication in which both passivity and aggression are eliminated to maintain an active and respectful conversation.

So, what is being assertive? An assertive person is someone who uses assertiveness to communicate, that is, someone who His conduct is based on respect so much towards others as towards himselfThe key to social skills is knowing how to communicate assertively and empathetically.

Assertiveness is often confused with empathy, however, they cannot be used simultaneously. Empathy is the ability to “put ourselves in someone else’s shoes.” That is, feel other people's emotions as if they were your own and act thinking about the people around us.

The empathy It is a characteristic of the emotional intelligence very important and is often directly related to assertiveness. This happens because to being able to be assertiveneed develop empathy.

As we have said, Assertive behavior includes having empathy. The difference between these terms is that the objective of Assertiveness is expressing yourself outwardlywhile empathy is just the opposite. The latter is the channel through which information enters the emotional processing.

For many people, working on assertive communication is not easy. That's why we're going to give you 9 tips to achieve it without losing your self-confidence.

Being an assertive person can be difficult whether you are passive or aggressive. To change and maintain assertive communication, it is best to start with simple and risk-free situations.

For example, if the glass you have been served at a restaurant is dirty, tell the waiter politely. Don't lose your temper by getting angry or remain silent. You can express yourself without being disrespectful.

Another everyday situation where you can practice is when you are hanging out with friends. State what plan you want to makeactively listening to others, but expressing your opinion.

Once you feel comfortable in these low-risk situations, you can increase the difficulty little by little.

Saying 'no' is very necessary. Being considerate and respectful is not at odds with be firm with yourself same.

At first, saying no may make you feel nervous and uneasy, but over time You will feel good and liberated.

Some people may not understand this situation. However, as long as you express yourself politely and in a considerate manner, You don't have to feel responsible of his reaction.

Sometimes we tend to justify ourselves, explain ourselves and give details of our opinion, however, it is not always necessary. You can express yourself in a polite, direct and simple manner without having to beat around the bush.. Say what you feel and want -always respecting others-.

Linked to the previous advice, Don't give more explanations than you consider necessary just to give your comment more weight..Nonassertive people tend to please and feel compelled to give an explanation or justification for every choice they make, even if the other person has not asked for it.

When you make a decision or give an opinion that others do not agree with, one way they will try to Exercising control over you will be demanding that you give a justification of your choice, opinion or behavior. If you don't find a sufficient reason, they assume that you must agree with what they want.

When making a request or expressing disapproval, use “I.” It is best to always speak in the first person.. Focus on expressing your feelings, thoughts or ideas, without detracting from the rest of people.

That is, instead of saying: “You are selfish. You think you are the only one who has things to do,” you should focus on yourself: “I don’t think I have time to do it, I can’t.”

When requesting something, you must also express it through your posture and tone. In order not to go unnoticed and for your position to be passive, you have to seem confident when you request something or indicate a preference.

Leaning forward, smiling or maintaining a neutral facial expression, looking at the person's face, even standing up, are movements that denote confidence. It is also advisable to speak clearly and loudly.

Unless you're asking for something that's manifestly unreasonable, There is no reason to feel guilty or ashamed to express a need or desire.

Being assertive is communicating. So Don't apologize when you ask for something. Just do it in a polite way and wait to see the other person's reaction.

On many occasions you may not find an answer to your requests, but that does not mean you have to let it go. Speak louder, repeat it, make yourself heard. Don't just think that you've tried and it didn't work.

Be persistent and insist when you want to achieve something. As we say, Do it in a polite manner and respect the other person, but don't keep quiet.Neither aggression nor passivity will be good companions in achieving objectives and goals.

Obviously, not everyone will agree with your opinion and they may challenge you. In these cases, it is ideal that Keep calm and think about the answer -if you want to answer- more politely and accurately. You should not become defensive, nor make yourself small. Defend your idea if you consider it necessary.

Ultimately, sometimes it is necessary to hide feelings, however, Learning to express them assertively is important. Respecting your own ideas and thoughts, as well as those of other people, is essential to gain self-confidence and improve your social relationships. In addition, assertive action will bring you closer to your goals than aggressive or passive action.

If you have trouble developing this ability and communicating in a neutral way, You can ask a professional for help to guide you through this learning process.. You will begin to notice the results in your social relationships.