According to Mayo Clinicnarcissistic personality disorder is a mental disorder in which people have an inordinate sense of their own importance and they own a profound need for excessive attention Y admiration.
Generally, narcissistic people tend to have troubled relationships Y a lack of empathy for others. Nevertheless, behind this mask of extreme securitythere is a fragile self-esteem What is it vulnerable to slightest criticism.
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Although considering the narcissistic levels of ourselves or our loved ones is not new, it is important to have some tools to detect to these types of people to ultimately decide informedly about whether or not to commit to someone can make life miserable.
The American Psychological Association lists nine core traits of narcissism, but someone just needs five of these to identify for the narcissistic personality disorder (NPD).
Here’s how to spot a narcissist with 9 behaviors:
1. You feel grandiose and cocky for reasons that reality doesn’t support.
Are you familiar with underemployed unattractive guys with horrible personalities who think they deserve to date supermodels? You may have encountered a walking NPD.
In general, people with this type of disorder have incredibly clever excuses for their failure. But very soon these fantasies fall like a curtain at the end of a play.
At first, a narcissist tends to be attractive, with a hypnotic personality and arouses very powerful empathy but will not be reciprocated at all.
2. Is obsessed with fantasies about unlimited success, fame, power, or omnipotence.
«After traveling the world and writing my book, I’ll sell it to Hollywood, Johnny Depp will play me, then I’ll start my business and do consulting, speaking around the world for six figures.» always a narcissist fable with what he thinks he deserves, but you will see that does not try, does not even come close to specifying what he says. This happens because he believes that he deserves things by «right» (which we will see later).
3. You believe that you are the only special human being who can be understood and associated only with other unique or high-status people.
A narcissist feels so unique and weird that no one can compete with him and he will probably treat you like someone he can’t comprehend half of the incredible thoughts in his head.
He will always be in an attitude of «teaching you»: how to do your job, what to believe, what to accept, where to go, how to speak correctly on the phone, etc.
4. Requires excessive admiration, adulation, attention, and affirmation.
You: «Oh yeah, you sounded perfect on the phone with your boss! You were assertive but not bossy, you complimented him but made some good points about yourself, I can’t believe how well you handled that.» Repeat x 100 the time it takes to stop looking for compliments and positive reviews. They usually have performance crises and constantly need positive reinforcement (It’s one of the few moments where he is really vulnerable.
5. Feel a sensation of law.
This is extends to everything, from your time, your body, to possessions and service. He will expect you to have sex when he or she wants, even when you had a terrible day and you’re not in the moodthat would be a good example.
You can also see it in action when they go to a restaurant and are rude to the waiter and push the wait staff to the limits of «customer is always right». You’ll rate a restaurant poorly or stop going altogether if it doesn’t get the attention it «deserves,» even if you came in with a whip.
6. Exploits others without guilt or remorse.
He is the type of person who offers his wife at the parents’ meeting to do something at school and without even asking her. He is the friend who comes to your house drunk at 3 in the morning, even though you have a family and have to work the next day. He is the person who will demand a ride to the airport because «you owe him.» a narcissist believes that the time, will and resources of others are also theirs and if they don’t count on you they will create problems.
7. He lacks empathy.
Can complain and whine for hours about all your problems, real and imaginedBut when you need to talk about your sick co-worker or relative who is constantly tired, bored, suddenly busy, or maybe just gives you a blank stare and a «Oh, I’m sure he’ll be fine» kind of comment. .
When you are with a narcissist, it will always be their problems that are important, urgent and interesting. But your problems don’t really matter to him and if you get sick, far from helping you, they will be deeply angry with you since someone sick needs care and attention. That is to say: you are of no use to him.
8. Tends to be envious of others or believes that others are envious of him.
A narcissist is the type of person who believes that no one deserves a high-paying job, flashy material possessions, or an attractive partner because everyone will be «under his standards» and he will not hesitate to announce this.
He will constantly compare others unfavorably to himself and will claim all the time that he deserves the «rewards» more than anyone else but that he fails, only because he dwells in the realm of misunderstanding.
9. Shows arrogant and haughty behavior.
A true narcissist believes that he is better than the rest, so he shows a marked disinterest in everything that is not directly related to it or not help youincluding your friends, family and interests.
A narcissist tends to speak loudly and will try to project his voice to those around him so that everyone can hear everything he says. Also, they tend to be obsessed with appearance because they like to be the center of attention. They care a lot about being seen and admired.
However, his arrogance does not allow him to continue studying since they consider the teachers to be «pure bores». Sometimes they even stop going to the doctor because they also consider that they «know little». For this reason, over time they tend to be less flexible, more ignorant and therefore more authoritarian
Not too attractive, right? The professional psychology community largely agrees that a narcissist can not be changed much, so you can decide on submitting to live with someone like that or just bet that you have the skills to develop an Olympic jump backwards and run.