Love is sacrifice, ups and downs, passion and affection. Whoever believes that everything is rosy should start to reconsider if what he really wants is a couple. On the contrary, whoever accepts the pros and cons of dating another person seriously will certainly not regret it.
In these times when immediacy is a must of existence, the love relationships They seem to get more complicated. Carrying out a deep symbiosis with another is difficult and takes timesince it includes the creation of a daily syncretism and the renouncing of things that define us when we are alone.
Laura Makabresku
Achieving stability is, therefore, complicated. But more complicated is to know if we can achieve stability with someone we recently datedWell, when we are just getting to know the other, we are usually assailed by all kinds of doubts about whether he is the right person. The truth is It’s healthy to worry about fitting in with who we’re dating.especially since the supposed affinities found in a Tinder or Facebook profile are by no means definitive, and even the deepest common likes cannot help us to know if the matches will be successful and if we are trying with the correct person.
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With a bit of intuition, a sincere analysis and based on these signals established by science, you will be able to know if you chose the right person and it is convenient for you to do everything on your part so that their love does not end.
If this happens, you are dating the right person.
Photography: Sophie van der Perre
Their lives run on parallel lines
Although everyone may have different aspirations, it is important that they are not abysmal. For example, if either of you plans to make her life in another country, it will be much more difficult for the relationship to survive. So if you found someone with whom you share projects in common –or simply those projects line up until they achieve an unconscious daily life with the other–, it is much more likely that you can be together for a long time.
you feel a mimicry
Between individuals with deep ties there is usually a certain mimesis: sadness, happiness, anxiety, excitement and all kinds of emotions are contagious. According to the psychology professor Laura VanderDriftIf your partner is happy when you are happy or sad when you are sad, it means that they pay attention to you. That is, you generate great empathy, something that does not happen with anyone and that indicates a greater commitment. This empathy even feels as if they both thought the same thing at the same time –which is the product of a healthy and deep coexistence–, and what could be more perfect than a couple who understands how you think?
Little touches are still electrifying
As the relationship expert says lesley edwardsIf even after dating that person for a while – or in the worst case, after having fights, breakups or differences – there is still an electrifying contact between the two of you, that is a good sign. In addition, physical contact, beyond sex, says a lot about how much the other cares about us. There are ways of touching and caressing that are caring, loving or concerned; if these persist, it is because the ties continue to strengthen.
Laura Makabresku
Sex matters (from different perspectives)
If the relationship has been around for a short time but agreements are reached for sex, this may indicate that it is a strong relationship, since it means that both are serious. If they haven’t brought it up and you’re wondering if you’re dating the right person, you should give it a try; Only those who are interested in a deep connection will be interested in making agreements for something that can be as free as sex, but in a serious relationship he needs pacts and commitments.
On the other hand, in a data investigation carried out by the Happify platform, it was discovered that the happiest long-term couples are those who have sex two or three times a week, the product of great physical and substantial attraction. If, on the contrary, this fire has gone out, it is time to reconsider whether we need to recover what was lost, or make way for a new path.
It makes you grow and transform
Speaking of maintaining identity: a relationship does not mean losing your identity entirely. A healthy love space is one that allows us to continue developing in many other ways. In addition to the things that are shared between two, a healthy and prosperous relationship allows your individual person to move to another level of consciousness; grow and transform. This frequently occurs in strong relationships, those that we colloquially say «changed our lives.» However, there are times when a couple has already changed our lives, when we have learned a lot with them, and there seems to be no more. Couples tend to weaken if, as we expressed earlier, their lives do not run on parallel lines. Fate or science, something will have to be done, because there is a danger of the opposite effect: not growing more as individuals, or not allowing the other person to grow.
Another important point is that if between you and your partner there is the certainty that there can be freedom without affecting the relationship, and you do not incur mistrust or prohibitions, you are cultivating what is most important for any future relationship, as Edwards also points out.
There are more pros than cons
According to Jonathan Marshall, psychotherapist and relationship counselor, we must ask ourselves a question that might seem a bit cruel, but it is necessary: what could be wrong with our partner? For Marshall this question is essential, especially considering that we plan to put up with the pros and cons for a long time. That is why it is important to be honest and find out if the points in favor of our partner are more for us; otherwise, a more in-depth evaluation is fair and necessary, which includes dialogue with the other.
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