Self-esteem It is the image and the assessment that we have of ourselvesbut if it is true that The people around us also influence the formation of our self-esteem.
So if you've ever heard a negative comment from someone and felt down or insecure, it has to do with other people and not with you.
If you are reading this article, it will be because a good friend or family member has self-esteem problems and you want them to improve their personal situation. You should know that if someone has problems of this type, You won't be the solution, you can help him to have a more positive self-esteem, but whether or not he has good self-esteem depends on him.
Bases of self-esteem
Self-esteem also has its foundations and it is very important to know them so that we can reinforce and improve them.
- The first ones are The bases are the social universe and the matter that surrounds us: The contact we have with other people is important when it comes to creating our own vision of the world. The relationship we have with others will be what makes us generate an image of ourselves.
- The second refers to negative beliefs: Although it is true that It is difficult for us to change the beliefs that we have been generating throughout our lives.It is not impossible either. People are very faithful to what they believe and once we have internalized something it is difficult to change it.
For example, if you've ever been told that you're bad at painting, It is difficult for you to change that and start valuing yourself as you deserve. Therefore, it is important to treat the problem at its root.
- The third has to do with the theory you have developed about yourself: All the qualifiers with which we define ourselves form our being, that is, who we believe we are. When the majority are negative, we will have low self-esteem. Start defining yourself with real, beautiful words.
Types of self-esteem
Although it may sound obvious, there are different types of self-esteem, but you probably don't know exactly what each one means. Here we explain it to you:
It can also be called positive self-esteem. It is the most admirable and ideal level, a person with high self-esteem manages to feel satisfied with her lifeis aware of what is worth and of the capabilities that it has to face problems and solve them.
Relative self-esteem It has a bit of instability in the image of herself. It depends on the day, there are sometimes that the person with average self-esteem She feels valuable and capable of everything and other times that same person feels useless because of the opinions of others.
This self-esteem presents characteristics such as not being able, failure, ineptitude and insecurity. It is undoubtedly the worst of all and therefore we must avoid it above all else.
There are authors who speak of a fourth type self-esteem. This is called “inflated self-esteem” and it is another level, people with this self-esteem believe themselves to be better than the rest and are not able to listen to others or recognize their mistakes, that is, They have no capacity for self-criticism.
His self-esteem is so excessive that They believe they have the right to look down on others and make them feel worthless.These people generate very hostile and negative behaviors.
Why is it important?
The feelings and the perception we have towards ourselves influences completely in the way we live our lives.
People with high self-esteemthat is, those people who feel that they are appreciated and loved just the way they are. have better social relationships. It is more likely that ask for help and support to their loved ones when they need it. In addition, people who feel that they are capable of carrying out their goals and solving problems on their own they tend to perform better when studying. This is why what has already been mentioned is fulfilled: Having high self-esteem makes you accept yourself and live life to the fullest.
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How can I help someone boost their self-esteem?
To help your friends or family achieve high self-esteem You have to help him see everything he has achieved and what a wonderful person he is. A person with low self-esteem will think that he fails at everything and that he has nothing good, only defects. If you highlight and show their achievements, you will most likely help them understand that not everything is bad and that they are also capable of many other things.
Tips you can follow:
- Show him how much you love him and you need him in your life, but also explain and teach him to love himself. People with low self-esteem often seek approval because it raises their self-esteem, and although it is good to do so, they must be taught that they have to accept themselves, not others.
- Help him respect himself. These people tend not to respect themselves very much because they think that everything they have is bad and therefore, they never defend themselves and let others manipulate them. They must be taught to respect themselves because others will not always be there to defend them when they need it.
- Don't make comparisons. Comparing someone to someone frequently will only make them feel frustrated and their self-esteem will worsen because they will feel that they cannot be like the people they are being compared to. You have to help them improve and grow without comparisons.
- You have to empathize. If we want someone to have high self-esteem, we cannot constantly point out all their mistakes or belittle them. These people are more vulnerable and will break down as soon as they hear any negative comment. We have to be careful and gently point out their mistakes (whenever they bother us or affect our lives or the lives of others).
- Encourage him and help him grow. The words of others and the feeling that you will always be there no matter what is going on is something that will make them feel better and, therefore, improve their self-esteem.
- You have to warn him that he has a problem with low self-esteem. As we have already mentioned, we have to be careful with our words when we say it, but the important thing is that he realizes it. If we put it well and we say it tactfully, he will surely perceive it as a form of concern for him and his well-being.
Phrases to say to someone with low self-esteem
Apart from the tips and advice we have taught you, Nice phrases also help a person to transform their low self-esteem into high self-esteem. It is important to say them often and remind the person how much they are worth.
- Well done, I knew you could do it.
- There is no doubt that you are trying hardyou can tell by how well you've done.
- I am very proud of you.
- I love you very muchExpressing your love for him or her is one of the most important things.
- Congratulations for what you have done, I could not have done better.
- I see that you do better every day, what a difference from how you did it before. What progress!
- You can get where you want because Every day you try harder and harder and every effort has its reward.
- I'm sure your grades are going to be very good, just because of how hard you're trying and the effort you are putting into it.
- I know you will make it, Do you remember how you did it before?
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