5 ways to be kinder to yourself – Online Psychologists

We are often too demanding with ourselves. In fact, we tend to demand more from ourselves than we would ever think of demanding from anyone else.

And although it is clear that self-demand is good for moving forward and improving things that we do not like about ourselves, we cannot make it the filter with which to analyze everything we do.

This filter of self-demand It makes us appear to others as superheroes and hide, even from ourselves, the true nature of our emotions and feelings. This often causes us to be very hard on ourselves and not let ourselves get away with anything.

Here they go Five tips to learn to be kinder to yourself.

It's clear that people make mistakes. And you're people. So assume that you make mistakes too.

You should try to put your thoughts into perspective. errors And, of course, learn from them. When you detect a mistake you have made or something about yourself that you don't like how you handled, analyze it as if you were an outsider. What do you think your friends would tell you?

Internalize this discourse and convince yourself that, really, the world has not ended because you took the wrong route to get to a friend's house. Take it with philosophy And while you correct your route and head in the right direction, take the opportunity to think about how you can prevent it from happening again.

Society has greatly conditioned us to ignore, deny or suppress any show of pain or suffering in our own person. We are able to bear it when our partner feels bad or has bad days, but when we are the ones who suffer, we try to push that feeling away from us with all our might.

That only makes the situation worse. You have to assume that, like anyone else, you have your feelings and emotionsand some of them are not pleasant.

Try to overcome the shame or embarrassment you feel about communicating them and validate them in front of yourself and others. Sometimes you need support too.

Imagine you are in the kitchen and suddenly, when you reach for a glass jar full of chickpeas, it slips from your hands and falls to the floor, breaking into a thousand pieces.

You'll probably be angry with yourself for being so clumsy. You might even say to yourself, «Of course, I'm useless.»

Would you say the same thing to a friend Who is going through exactly the same thing? You would probably never think of talking to a friend like that. You would say something like: “Don’t worry, these things happen” or “It’s normal that it fell, the bookshelf is too full of things.”

That is, with an external person we are able to help her calm downto look at things from a realistic point of view and even help you clean.

With ourselves, however, we choose the very dubious strategy of beating ourselves up. For some reason, instead of helping ourselves, we dedicate ourselves to sinking ourselves further.

When you look at it this way, it's logical that it's not a very useful strategy for our mental health. Beating ourselves up only causes our self-esteem to deteriorate and we feel less and less confident in ourselves to carry out our tasks.

When we are immersed in a bad times We find it difficult to see beyond the misfortunes and adversities of everyday life. But they exist. Everyone, at some point in their life, goes through a bad patch. But that doesn't mean that their lives don't have meaning, or aren't worth living.

Accept that you are having a rough patch, but don't blame yourself for it and don't send yourself messages like «I'll never get out of this.» Focus on the small things. positive things that happen in your day to day life and don't lose sight of them. You can even write them down in a notebook and review them at the end of the day.

You don't need to sign up for any coursejust dedicate yourself to paying attention to the moment you are living without making judgments about yourself.

Just accept the feelings, sensations, thoughts and emotions you have at that moment. You have them and that's it. Don't judge themIf they bother you, try to change them with positive thoughts, feelings or emotions, but don't judge yourself.

If, despite all this advice, you feel that you are your own cruelest enemy and you don't know how to overcome it, you can always consult a psychologist. At , the first consultation is free. What are you waiting for?

In Psychia We have been experts in online therapy since 2012. Throughout our career we have helped more than 2,000 patients overcome various emotional problems. If you are interested in seeking the help of an online psychologist, you can request a free first session by clicking on the button below.