One of the hardest things to understand in a relationship is that love changes and transforms. Maybe at the beginning your relationship was full of passion and over time that spark that united you is gone slowly fading awayIt's normal, but the problem comes when the routine leads to a stagnant relationship.
You may still be fond of your partner, even though time has transformed love and you notice that You don't feel like being with that person. Maybe some aspects of his personality and way of being that didn't bother you before are starting to tire you out.
If this is your case, your relationship may be stagnant. But don't worry, because in this article we give you the tips necessary to avoid this situation or confront it.
What do we mean by a stagnant relationship?
A stagnant relationship is one in which one of the members (or even both) does not feel that special connection that made them take the step of starting the relationship.
This is a phase directly related to emotional stagnation. It has to do with aspects of the relationship that should produce excitement, but which have resulted in apathy and disinterest.
Stagnation in the couple is linked to emotions, the people who suffer from it They don't feel excited at the prospect of continuing in that relationship and visualizing a future plan, but they feel that they have lost the spark from the beginning and feel frustrated and even bored.
If this is your case, I'm sorry to say that over time your relationship has stagnated and you're probably wondering if you'll ever feel the way you did at the beginning again.
Why does a relationship stagnate?
Relationships stagnate for a variety of reasons, and they can vary from couple to couple, but there are some common causes.
You are not satisfied with yourself
Sometimes we feel dissatisfied and unhappy with ourselves and we believe that the best solution is to take refuge in our relationship and in the other person because we hope that they will make us forget.
But we must be aware that this can be unfair to our partner because by feeling disappointed with your life, you will put all your expectations on it and by not meeting them you will feel frustrated and it will directly affect your relationship and therefore its direction.
You are unable to accept their flaws
If you have just moved in with your partner or are starting a new stage together, you are likely to dream that everything is going to be perfect and idyllic and when your high expectations are not met, you feel like you have made a mistake.
But you must be clear that we all have defects and it is important that you keep it in mind and you accept those less attractive parts from your partner so as not to get frustrated.
You try to change your partner
Once you know your partner's flaws you will probably want to change them, you must be careful with this because it can become a very toxic behavior.
Your partner may try to change certain bad habits, but if your intention is to change completelythis will become a problem, because he will realize that you are trying to turn him into someone he is not.
This tendency can result in him finding solace and comfort away from you.
You are not on the same page
You may dream of getting married and living a quiet, comfortable lifestyle, but your partner may want just the opposite.
These types of differences regarding your future plans can create a gap between you and your partner, as you may never be on the same page and slowly head towards a stagnant, futureless relationship.
Signs that your relationship is stagnant
Liquid love, according to psychologist Ana Maria Sepe from Psicoadvisor, describes the experience of those who are constantly searching for their own identity. These people feel the need to establish bonds to avoid loneliness, but at the same time fear losing their freedom due to the limitations of such bonds. This duality may explain the growing trend towards polyamorous relationships and open couples, where both needs are sought to be met.
If you feel like your relationship isn't moving forward, there are a number of signs that will help you figure out whether your relationship is stagnant or not.
You are not excited about thinking about a future together
This is one of the signs that will help you realize if your relationship is stagnant or not, the lack of enthusiasm It is a symptom of reluctance, disinterest and even indifference towards the other person and your life together.
If you are not excited about thinking about a future with the other person and you avoid thinking about it, your relationship is probably stagnant.
Can you imagine yourself with your current partner in a few years? If your answer was no, then reconsider and reflect about why you are with that person, is it out of love or just out of habit?
You feel unmotivated and unwilling to make plans as a couple
When you feel like your relationship is not moving forward and is stagnant, it is common for you to avoid any romantic plans because you do not feel good with your partner. In addition, you are likely to resort to excuses to avoid these types of plans and spend more time at work or with your friends.
You are going in different directions
If you feel like you are in a stagnant relationship, it is likely that you and your partner No you are in the same pageYou may not have the same vision of the future and your plans may be very different, which may increase this stagnation.
There is no passion anymore
Lack of passion and even attraction is a symptom that the relationship has stagnated, since No you feel the need of share physical contact and this can affect you as a couple because it gradually distances you.
You feel angry or frustrated with everything he says
If you feel frustrated when your partner talks and you get angry with every thing they say, it is possible that you no longer feel affection for them and that you should rethink the relationship you have, because this is not healthy.
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5 tips to deal with relationship stagnation
1. Speak and listen
Talk, express what you feel. If you think your relationship is stuck and you want to fix it, it is essential that you understand the importance of opening up to the other person.
If you want to save your relationship you have to deflate your ego, don't get defensive, Listen to your partner when he shares how he feels and tries to put you in his place.
2. Stop criticizing
As we have already discussed, your partner may have flaws, try to be understanding and do not criticize. Accept the fact that Nobody is perfect and focus on those positive characteristics.
3. Support your partner
A couple is a team, celebrate the other person's achievements, no matter how small, and tell them how happy you are for their success.
4. Make new plans with your partner
Routine can kill spontaneity within the couple, so you can propose new plans and dynamic for join you again and thus recover the spark, fleeing from stagnation.
5. Seek professional help
If you feel that your differences are too great to resolve on your own, seeking professional help may be the solution.
A psychologist specializing in couples therapy can guide you and help you overcome this phase. Psychia We are experts in online therapy since 2012. Throughout our career we have helped more than 1,600 patients overcome their emotional problems. If you are interested in contacting an online psychologist, you can try a first appointment by clicking on the button below.
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