We can define family as a group of people who live or have lived together, who are united by a close emotional bond. Your family is present for most of your life, they see you grow and help you navigate your path. Precisely because they are always there, it is easy for friction to appear between you and, with it, the problems that arise. family conflicts.
What are family conflicts?
We can define family conflicts as problems or confrontations between two or more family members.
These often arise because of problems with understanding. Families often stay together, although not always living in the same home, for most of their lives. As family members grow older, their ideas and perceptions change, and this affects their relationships with others, who will not always understand these changes.
Furthermore, when living in a family, it is common for behaviors to arise that bother others, either because they hinder family life or because they clash with the customs of other family members.
Is it negative to have family conflicts?
The existence of family conflicts is completely natural.
It is true that humans are social beings who need to live in a community and collaborate with others in order to survive. However, we are also individuals who have our own convictions. We cannot give up our individuality to fit into a group and that will cause problems to arise sooner or later.
Disputes between family members are inevitable. So, instead of seeing them as failures, try to think of them as opportunities that allow you to fix whatever is not working properly within the family unit.
The 6 most common types of family conflicts
Family is built on love and respect. If one of the two is missing, it is likely to negatively affect the other.
Misunderstandings and arguments are relatively normal. Sometimes you will lose your temper, raise your voice, and say things you regret. However, you should always try to never disrespect your family members.
That is why it is necessary that you learn to manage negative emotions, such as anger.
If something has upset you, say it immediately, clearly and respectfully, so that the anger does not continue to grow inside you. If at that moment you are consumed by anger and do not believe that you can communicate assertivelystep back, relax, and talk to your family member when you are calmer.
- Old unresolved problems
One of the decisions that most poisons personal relationships is leaving problems unresolved.
When a family member does something that hurts or upsets you and you don't tell them, you're depriving them of the opportunity to repair the damage. And even worse, you're allowing the annoyance to grow inside you and turn into resentment.
You should know that It is impossible to build positive relationships on resentment. This encourages resentment, disrespect and tension. Therefore, do your part to resolve problems when they arise.
- Conflicts arising from life changes
Some stages of life are conflictive by definition. adolescencefor example, is a stage in which children stop being children and begin the transition to adult life.
It is a time full of changes, where the family stops being a refuge and takes a backseat, always behind friends. During the years of adolescence, the teenager builds his own personality and usually moves away from what his parents had instilled in him and expected of him.
Also the old age It is usually a problematic stage for similar reasons: after all, one leaves one vital stage to move on to another, characterized by profound changes in the body and mind that can cause irritability in those who suffer from them.
Losses cause a lot of pain in the family and in this context it is normal for conflicts to arise between members of the family.
The loss of a loved one, the loss of health or the loss of an important part of life, such as a job, often creates frustration that takes its toll on the family unit.
A family needs to have well-defined roles. For example, children must be aware that their parents teach them and therefore they must obey. Parents, for their part, must not lose sight of the fact that their children depend on them to a certain extent and that they must provide them with protection.
If these roles are not clear, the lack of structure will generate coexistence problems.
Our personality, our interests and our way of seeing the world make us have more affinity with some people than with others.
It's okay for this to happen in your family too. You may have a closer relationship with one parent than the other. That's normal.
However, in the family, as in all other areas, you must behave fairly. When one parent favors one of the children more, or when family relationships are driven by favoritism rather than equity, problems arise.
You don't have to treat everyone with the same affection, but try to always treat them with the same respect.
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5 tips to solve them
- Communicate assertively. Assertive communication is clear, firm and respectful. To communicate assertively, you need to respect the opinions and speaking times of others without being trampled on. It is recommended that you express what bothers you by focusing on your feelings, rather than on the actions of others. Instead of saying “I can’t stand being interrupted,” say “interruptions make me feel like my opinion doesn’t matter.”
- Practice active listening. It is not just about listening, but about paying full attention to what the other person is saying. It is necessary to understand what others are saying and also to make them see that we understand them.
- Allow all parties to express themselves. To resolve conflicts, all parties must be able to express their point of view respectfully and without interruptions.
- Resolve conflicts in a timely manner. It's best not to take too long to resolve them, but the moment of peak conflict may not be the best time. Wait until tempers have cooled down so that everyone can express themselves respectfully and clearly.
- Base your family relationships on affection. Let your family know that you love them despite the conflicts. This will help reduce tensions.
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