Getting over a breakup is not easy and can sometimes be accompanied by severe symptoms of anxiety.
Breaking up with our partner is a very complicated thing. All separations are usually accompanied by major anxiety attacks. Separating from someone we care about, who we love and with whom we have experienced many things generates a very strong emotional impact.
Breakups start an emotional cycle that goes from shock to anger, to disorganization of our life and then to reorganization. A separation involves mourning and It can hurt in a way very similar to the death of a loved one. in which one will probably fall into depression and an attitude of isolation and loneliness will appear.
A breakup is the total interruption of the life story of each memberalthough in couples who have children this separation will not be total since in practically all cases it will be necessary to continue maintaining contact.
Building a new life involves emotional overcoming, accepting the fact that you are no longer together and the will to reorganize your life as when you were alone with new goals.
The emotional impact of the breakup will depend on many factorssome of them may be:
- The cause: relationship wear and tear, poor coexistence, infidelity…
- If it has been a agreement between the two or just a decision by one of the members
- If there is children in between and the age they are
It is common for one person to have a worse time than the other.one that initiates the breakup and another that stays behind.
The person who starts the process is not satisfied, reflects and seeks the support of her loved ones to help her make a decision. even before talking about it with your still partner. This is called detachment process And it is most common for this person to begin to have strange attitudes and behaviors before speaking to their partner.
Howeverthe other person may deny the obvious and convince themselves that everything is fine. A situation that, without a doubt, ends up being justified and leads to blaming each other. The person who decides to break up feels guilty and the other person becomes angry because he or she feels betrayed.
Although breaking up with a partner is currently the most normal thing, when it comes to facing our new future individually, anxiety can appear since it is still a very unpleasant experience.
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How to deal with anxiety after a breakup?
Separating from someone we love and with whom we have had a sincere relationship is very difficult to accept. With the breakup comes a physical and psychological changean experience like this changes the way we perceive ourselves personally and changes our life routines, even the places where we move.
Separation is a grief that everyone has to go through, but that doesn't mean we have to suffer until we can't take it anymore. The key is to regulate our emotions and go to a professional who can help us do so.
Tips to get over a breakup
In addition, you can also follow some tips that will help you take the first step to get over the breakup:
1. The soul mate does not exist
Much of the suffering is due to cultural issues which makes us have very high expectations about what romantic relationships are like. The idea that two people are destined to meet and that when they do, they can no longer be separated (a thought that comes from religion) no longer makes sense today.
Since we were children we have been taught that love is getting together with a person and being with them for life, something very old-fashioned that does not fit with today's relationships. In reality, Love is being with someone who complements you and if one day they stop doing so, it is best to let them go and continue living our life, without anyone taking anything away from us, why would we be with someone who doesn't give us what we want? After all, the goal of this life is to be happy.
You have to stay with the goodhow happy we were by his side and how important he was for us. That person has not gone away, you have just broken up and that means that that person will always be there when you need him, although not in the same way as before.
2. We don't need anyone to be happy, just ourselves
When we break up with someone, The first thought that crosses our mind is that we will not be able to be without that person.as if we couldn't go on with our lives if they weren't with us. This is just an emotional thought at the beginning, when we feel lost and don't know how our life will go on.
We think that the person who gave us happiness is gone and then we will not be able to be happy. From the outside it seems to make sense, but if you examine it deeply this gives rise to a statement that is not true, that happiness was given to you by that person as if you yourself were not happy before.
This erroneous thought comes from the first stage of the breakup, which is full of emotional instability. We are so upset that we feel like we won't be able to continue with our lives and other negative thoughts lead to an exaggerated increase in anxiety.
Please note that This will only be the first few dayslittle by little you will feel better.
3. Don't lock yourself in at home
It is undeniable that a breakup makes us change. We cannot separate from our partner and continue the same because our life changes. What we cannot do is lock ourselves at home and enter a cycle of sadness and depression against which we do nothing. Even if it is difficult, you have to change your habits. Find new hobbies that keep you entertained, go out with friends, download apps to meet new people, move around places you've never been to, etc. If you change your routine and habits, nothing will remind you of your ex-partner and, therefore, you will not fall into negative thoughts.
When the symptoms of divorce anxiety accumulate, they start to be very severe and do not let you move forward It is best to go to a professional to help you manage your anxiety.
Try a free session and our psychologists will help you overcome it.