Some time ago we talked about the characteristics of postpartum depression, highlighting that being a mother is not a bed of roses and that, in many cases, it requires fortitude and dedication that can overwhelm us.
It is important to be aware of what postpartum depression is in order to be able to fight it, but there are some tips that can be very useful for both the future mother and those closest to her to minimize the chances of suffering from this disorder.
1. Pay attention to feelings and thoughts
Of course, the best prevention is early detectionThat is, being very attentive to the symptoms that may be developing in the mother and trying to find solutions before they progress and become depression.
To do this, it is important that you do not try to block your feelings. You must find your space to talk about what you feel and what you think. There are many mothers who are in the same situation as you and, even if you don't believe it, they are just as lost as you.
Talk a lot with your partnerExplain your feelings to him and try to make him understand, although keep in mind that the situation is also new for him and that, therefore, he may be a little overwhelmed as well.
There is support groups to new mothers who are guided by psychology professionals and who can be of great help and support in this complicated but exciting time of life.
2. Don't play «superwoman»
You are not omnipresent. Nor almighty. You are not a «superwoman», you are a normal woman who has just given birth and is trying to adapt as best she can to her new role and her new personal situation.
You should bear in mind that during the first few months, the baby will probably require almost exclusive dedication, so your personal life may really be overwhelmed. This can cause a great deal of discomfort in some women, who would like to remain the mother of the baby. «ideal woman»: good partner, better mother, an excellent worker, keeping the house clean, not neglecting her friends…
Accept it, for the moment things will change slightly, you will have time to pick up where you left off, or to change what you considered vitally important before, for something different that really fulfills you now.
3. No to moving
With the imminent arrival of the baby, many couples experience this: suddenly they feel that your house is getting smallIt doesn't matter if they have a room that they always thought they would dedicate to their future child, suddenly they feel that a third person is going to enter the house and that a lot of space will be needed.
Tranquility. Children do not initially require a large space. As long as you have your child, crib and its resting space (which could easily be the master bedroom) the baby will be fine. Of course, as he gets older, he will need more space and more staff, but that won't happen for a few years.
The recommendation is to avoid large stress caused by moving during pregnancy and until the baby is born, at least 7 or 8 months, since moving an entire life in boxes is a situation that requires great emotional control and even puts relationships to the test.
Unless strictly necessary, do not subject yourself to this pressure.
4. Attend childbirth preparation classes
Although they may seem absurd at first, they are a great opportunity not only to learn about childbirth and baby care, but also about our own bodies and emotions.
It is recommended that you both come members of the couple, whenever possible, as it will offer you a space to share together and you will be able to begin to enjoy the union that comes with having a child together.
It is very likely that while you are pregnant you will go to childbirth preparation sessions or to groups of pregnant women, that is where you can meet people who can be of great help to you.
Sharing your feelings with your partner is fine, but if you both share them with other couples who are in the same situation as you, everyone will benefit.
Furthermore, it is quite possible that these couples can be great allies a posteriori, when you need someone you trust to babysit you on a one-off basis.
5. Listen to music
There are countless benefits that music produces about the mind and the body. Both during pregnancy and postpartum, it is important not to forget music. Have playlists ready to accompany you at different times. They don't have to be particularly childish; they can be songs that you like and that you want to share with your baby.
Animated for when the baby is awake and you are talking to him: this way you will caress him not only with your hands, but also with your voice and with your smileListening to music that puts us in a good mood makes us interact more kindly with others.
Calm for when the baby is sleeping or for moments of rest: have a good playlist of quiet songs to accompany you and your baby during your moments of rest.
6. Rest as much as you can
The first months The baby's experiences are absolutely crazy. The baby is discovering the world, and the parents are discovering the limits of their strength. Those nights of sleeping 7 or 8 hours straight seem far away and impossible to get back to.
It is normal for parents to be very tired during the day, but especially mothers and even more so if they are breastfeeding babies.
This is why it becomes more essential than ever. make the most of every minute of the day that you can rest. When the baby is asleep, take advantage and sleep. Forget about washing dishes or ironing clothes, or calling a friend to see how she is doing. It is your time, you owe it to yourself, but what's more, your partner and your baby will thank you for it. Rest.
7. Follow a balanced diet
It is possible that with the time mismatch You may not even know when it is your turn to eat. But it is important that you control it, and above all that you eat healthy food: fruits, vegetables, meat…
Eat everything, and eat plenty of foodDon't try to go on a weight loss diet in the first few months. Remember that your body has spent 9 months adapting to a life growing inside it. Now it will need more or less the same amount of time for everything to get back to its place.
Feed yourself in a balanced way but varied, eat everything and make sure you don't go hungry. You can always go to a nutritionist for recommendations tailored to your needs.
8. Take care of your relationship
It is important that your role as new parents does not override your role 100% couple roleNow is when you will need to be more united in order to face all the decisions that being parents entails.
Many couples have difficulties in carrying out a life as a couple outside of their life as parents, for these couples it is highly recommended that they do not feel any qualms about going to a psychologist specializing in couple relationships so that I can offer them alternatives and help them find their way again.
Don't forget to do small outings as a couple without the baby. It's true that it can be a little stressful to leave your baby with someone at first, but you're sure to have a family member or friend who can take care of the little one for a couple of hours, which is enough to be able to have a quiet getaway with your partner, whether it's for a walk or dinner.
9. Don't neglect sex
Although the possibility of having sex will probably not even cross your mind during the first few weeks, it is important that you do not neglect this area of your life.
Remember that sex It doesn't have to mean intercourseIn fact, it is advisable to abstain from intercourse for a period of time, since the vagina and pelvic floor muscles are usually quite sore after childbirth.
But don't forget to have sex, to caress yourself, to let them caress you. Maybe something as simple as giving yourself a nice massage in the shower, which allows you to remember that your body has erotic sensations. The important thing is that you don't disconnect your body from the sensations.
With your partner you can also practice the «soft sex»That is, as if you were inexperienced teenagers again, dedicate yourselves to kisses, caresses and hugs and only practice penetration when the body is ready for it again.
10. Go to a psychologist
The help from a good therapist can be key to avoiding postpartum depression. There are some hospitals and family centers that have therapeutic groups where mothers and fathers can come and share their feelings.
But you can also go to the private consultation a psychologist so that, in an individual way, he or she can help you overcome these initial moments of uncertainty and discomfort that can end up leading to depression.
It may be difficult for you to get to a psychologist's office right now, so in Psychia We offer you a host of qualified professionals who can offer you an online therapy service, which will allow you to do the sessions from your home.
Try a free session